words in movies
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Ross: Yeah? Oh-oh, shed be so excited!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Joey: Thats great! That would be great! Lets do that!
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
Chandler: Well its kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that hes not real.
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: will be two months
Phoebe: Roll playing You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right?
Rachel: Yeah sure, iced tea would be great.
Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Yknow I just wish we could be like on a break!
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Phoebe: Oh yeah, the doctor said that could be one of the side effects.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Carol: Oh umm, yknow I think it would be better if we just save it.
Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if youre thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldnt get sucked up into the mechanism, well youd be wrong.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Monica: Im sorry, okay? It justtonight was supposed to be yknow, it was supposed to be a big deal.
Monica: Well, tonight waswas going to be my first time.
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend (Points at Chandler) helping out another friend. (Points at herself.)
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Joey: But you got to be with both of them, right?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Barry: You-you-you said you were gonna be away all weekend!
Phoebe: Oh, okay I didnt get that message. So this doesnt countAnyway, Ill be in my office.
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Chandler: Because you shouldnt be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
Rachel: What? Im not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing.
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Joey: Oh hey, you should be excited about him. Theres nothing wrong with him hes a good guy.
Phoebe: Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why dont we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!
Parker: So what do you want me to do, you want me to be more negative, less happy?
Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. <looks at china> hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out..
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. (Rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi.
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Ross: You know, I think thats a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Phoebe: What? Hes gonna be dressed as a baby! (Mrs. Green enters.) Oh hi Mrs. Green!
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Joey: Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Ross: Yes! Yes, youre gonna be so missed.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Phoebe: You should be!
Joey: Either eat it, or be in it.
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe youd be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Joey: But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Dr. Long: You must be a little uncomfortable.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Ross: Youve got to be kidding me!
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
Dr. Long: Ill be back in an hour to check you again.
Dr. Long: Well youre only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. Itll be a while.
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Ross: Are you kidding? Look, were not gonna be together just because were having a baby. Okay?
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
Chandler: Look, weve always talked about having babies someday. Im not saying it has to be right now, but Im starting to think that we can handle it. Were good. Were really good.
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
Chandler: Yes, 98.6. Youre gonna be fine.
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! Ive been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that Id be giving up! I mean, I Im never gonna have a first kiss again.
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
Rachel: Well, how can you be a tour guide, dont you have to be a dinosaur expert or something?
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Rachel: Oh God. Is she gonna be okay?
Dr. Long: Shes gonna be fine. Okay, shes in a more difficult position so youre gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Chandler: Oh no, its gonna be named after some snack or baked good isnt it?
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
Frank: Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I dont see how I could all of the sudden be too young, cause Im older than I was when we first got together.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we we gotta be careful. We we cant let that happen again, yknow?
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise thats not gonna happen.