words in movies
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Ross: Yeah? Oh-oh, shed be so excited!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Joey: Thats great! That would be great! Lets do that!
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
Chandler: Well its kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that hes not real.
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: will be two months
Phoebe: Roll playing You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right?
Rachel: Yeah sure, iced tea would be great.
Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Yknow I just wish we could be like on a break!
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Phoebe: Oh yeah, the doctor said that could be one of the side effects.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Carol: Oh umm, yknow I think it would be better if we just save it.
Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if youre thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldnt get sucked up into the mechanism, well youd be wrong.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Monica: Im sorry, okay? It justtonight was supposed to be yknow, it was supposed to be a big deal.
Monica: Well, tonight waswas going to be my first time.
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend (Points at Chandler) helping out another friend. (Points at herself.)
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Joey: But you got to be with both of them, right?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Barry: You-you-you said you were gonna be away all weekend!
Phoebe: Oh, okay I didnt get that message. So this doesnt countAnyway, Ill be in my office.
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Chandler: Because you shouldnt be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.
Joey: But you two were supposed to be together.
Ross: So I dont wanna be just anybody.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Chandler: Oh so there cant be any yelling.
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Chandler: I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
Rachel: Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.
Monica: No. I can't be away from you for that long.
Monica: So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Receptionist: The doctor will be right with you sir.
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: Good yeah just be honest with him.
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Chandler: well, well, well it must be five in Tulsa because it's six o clock IN NY.C!
Chandler: does what always have to be sharks.
Monica:: sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this.
Chandler: let ME be a part of this!
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent.
Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We�ll probably be the first ones there.
Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won�t be late for my dinner, will you?
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Chandler: Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it?
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don�t you, why don�t you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I�ll meet you there.
Chandler: Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?
Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I�m not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?
Ross: Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you.
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Phoebe: He could be in disguise, yknow.
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Ross: You gotta be at least bi...
Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Joey: That's like a woman wanting to be a...
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen)
Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Amy: Why can't you ever be supportive?
Amy: How hard could it be? You do it.
Amy: Because you don't want me to be happy. You.. you have always been jealous of me.
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
CHANDLER: But hey, it's courtside.� The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . . (Pause)� That's not the way to convince you.
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
Ross: (tries to be sexy too) Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi .. (stops) no I can't.
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
Monica: Yeah, but her plane got delayed in Athens. But actually, (Checks watch) she should be here by now.
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
CHANDLER: Hear me out woman.� I'll go down the fire escape.� Then, I'll wait for a while.� Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa.� Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
(Thudding sounds can be heard from the bedroom.)
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
CHANDLER: Really?� You're gonna be okay?
MONICA: It's gonna be so hot!� (She kisses him.)
RACHEL: Oh, it was so much fun.� It felt so good to be out.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't be here.
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Monica: Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.
Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.
Monica: Hey, this afternoon you said you'd be supportive...
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
Joey: Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? (pause). Yeah!
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.