words in movies
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Ross: Yeah? Oh-oh, shed be so excited!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Joey: Thats great! That would be great! Lets do that!
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
Chandler: Well its kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that hes not real.
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: will be two months
Phoebe: Roll playing You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right?
Rachel: Yeah sure, iced tea would be great.
Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Yknow I just wish we could be like on a break!
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Phoebe: Oh yeah, the doctor said that could be one of the side effects.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Carol: Oh umm, yknow I think it would be better if we just save it.
Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if youre thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldnt get sucked up into the mechanism, well youd be wrong.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Monica: Im sorry, okay? It justtonight was supposed to be yknow, it was supposed to be a big deal.
Monica: Well, tonight waswas going to be my first time.
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend (Points at Chandler) helping out another friend. (Points at herself.)
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Joey: But you got to be with both of them, right?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Barry: You-you-you said you were gonna be away all weekend!
Phoebe: Oh, okay I didnt get that message. So this doesnt countAnyway, Ill be in my office.
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Chandler: Because you shouldnt be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Monica: Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer thanOhhh! (They both realize something there.)
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
Rachel: Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!!
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Janice: Are you gonna be okay?
Chandler: Why would I be mad?
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late!
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Chandler: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
Gerston: Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? (They discover that Chandler is listening) Hey, Chandler.
MRS. WALLACE: Is she gonna be all right?
Ross: It would be so cool to live across from you guys!
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better.
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Ross: And youre afraid you wont be able to fill his shoes.
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Chandler: Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.
Rachel: All right. Be sexy.
Monica: All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
Chandler: (swallowing hard) It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very were gonna be having all the sex.
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Ross: You can't just call Godfather. Don't you think her brother should be Godfather?
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Chandler: It's gonna be okay, right? I mean she's not gonna leave me? This is, this is fixable.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Joey: Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it.
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
Dr. Long: (looks at her beeping pager) Oh, Ill be right back. And, uh, I know its really not my place, but please dont name your child Phoebo.
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Rachel: Come on, I don't really want to be doing this right now. I am carrying a very heavy couch.
Joey: Yeah, I didnt know you guys were going to be here.
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Chandler: (swallowing hard) Well that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion.
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, its gotta be Rachel.
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!
Joey: Hey, wouldn't be cool if our duck and chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
Rachel: Maybe. I-I don't knowOh God, how could I be so stupid?!
ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Jen: Sure! That would be nice.
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Rachel: Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Monica: It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad.
Joey: That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad?
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!
Phoebe: Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? (Thinks of something) All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice!
Joey: Man, this is gonna be kinda weird.
Kyle: Yeah. It's gonna be weird.
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
Monica: Besides, if anybody's gonna get free stuff, it's gonna be me.
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Chandler: Well I would've been happy because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love. Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door. (Points at the door.)
Chandler: Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Phoebe: Sounds like somebody wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Phoebe: I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law?
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Rachel: Oh, umm, okay, yeah, I'll be, yeah I'll be right back. (Goes to her room.)
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, thats your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
Phoebe: No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Rachel: Ohh that'd be great!
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?