words in movies
Emily: If anyone asks, well just say Ben addressed them. (Looking through the envelopes.) Oh! So you invited Rachel then?
Phoebe: Oooh look! Isnt this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine!
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
Ben: Hi!
Ross: (entering, with Ben) Hi!
Monica: Hi Ben!
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Ben: Hi!!
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. (He opens the door and stops.) Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?
Ross: Joey, you look nothing like Ben.
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
[Scene: Ben and Joey's (Isn't that an ice cream??) callback.]
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Ross: All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Monica: See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.
Joey: (quietly) Ive got Ben.
Ross: I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings
Ross: Because, because Ive got Ben.
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Ross: Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? (As he picks up the fake Ben.)
Ben: No more pranks.
Ben: (yelling from off camera) Crap!!
Ben: (entering) Dad!! (Runs and hugs him.)
Ben: Yay! (Runs off.)
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Yeah? Well, I-I think Bens asleep.
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Ben: What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Ben: (on the bike) Im ready!
Ben: Uh-huh!
Ben: (To Chandler) Thanks daddy.
Ben: No.
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Monica: Matt Guire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wire
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Ben: Christmas eve.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is whirling Ben around.]
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly!
Ben: Christmas.
Ross: Well, I do, so let's... (Ben and Ross sit down on the couch) So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya?
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Ben: When is Santa coming?
Ben: So Santa's coming?
Ben: Santa's mad at me.
Ben: (singing) Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer...
Ben: Texas?
Ross: You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas, ooh, and Happy Hanukkah!
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?
Ben: Did you bring me any presents, Santa?
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Ben: No! Why does he have to go?
Ben: Okay, Santa!
Ben: No! Why can't the Armadillo leave? I want Santa!
Ben: (singing) Jingle bells, jingle bells...
Ben: No Santa? Was I bad?
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
Ben: Cool!
Monica: Come on Ben.
Ben: Wow! Thanks!
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
[Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.]
[Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.]
Ross: Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ben: (answering him) Eight whole days.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Ross: Thats right! Wait no, Ben.
Ben: Awesome!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Ben: Not really.
Rachel: Hi! Hi Ben!
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ben: Bye dad.
Ben: Okay.