words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
Ross: Well, I don't know.... (gestures) huh-huh.... but I'm hoping (gestures) huh-huh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]
Monica: Well... of course I thought of you! But... but...
Rachel: But, but?
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.
Steve: I was just being polite, but, alright.
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Rachel: Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler?
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Chandler: Well, you have to honest with her! Otherwise you may think that youre going down the same path, but youre really going down different ones.
Ross: Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah-huh!
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Ross: Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! (Joey nods his agreement.)
Ross: (To Mona) But I didnt want to.
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Joey: Wait! Wait! Maybe shes a hooker and a stripper, but she got confused about what shes supposed to do.
Ross: I was going to tell you, but
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Monica: Gotcha sailor. (Kicks one of her shoes off and it lands in the kitchen knocking something down, but she continues to strip.)
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
Chandler: Im watching the game, but Im not deaf!
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Monica: Oh Will. But you-youve worked so hard
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Ross: Yeah, but still, cheap shot!
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Will: So you knocked her up but youre not gonna marry her. Dude! (Wants another high-five and Ross ignores him.) Anybody?
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Phoebe: Wait! But Ross if they dont get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends.
Bitsy: Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real...
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Monica: All right fine! If it means that much to you! But justtheres gonna be a ton left over.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Joey: Well Id be scared of them, but all right.
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Mona: Okay. IBut I think we should still have this conversation.
Dr. Schiff: Uh, I dont have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Monica: I know that youre new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum.
Monica: Okay, all right, I think youre great, I think youre sweet, and youre smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch.
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Rachel: Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do?
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, but Im pretty sure hes gay.
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Rachel: Yeah, but I dont know why. Look at me, Im having such a wonderful time!
Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he cant see this.
Chandler: I did. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price.
Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over..
Rachel: Yes! But what is wrong with this dog?!
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Joey: Terrified. (But for a totally different reason.)
Rachel: Ok! Can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on! All right Joe, you remember the rules! Heads I win, tails you lose.
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Ross: Well, OK, its for a boy. Well, I know its a little out there, but Darwin.
Rachel: But only if its a girl.
Monica: No, but someones really not going to get over that idea, are they?
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Dr. Long: Thats right. But if you dont want to know
Rachel: Okay, but Ross just listen to me
Rachel: Okay fine, I did. But I didnt see anything, I swear.
Chandler: But what did he mean by rules?
Rachel: But Ross, you want the name Ruth!
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Phoebe: Absolutely! Yknow, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
(Joey starts to get up but stops.)
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Phoebe: But Im a professional! And Im really good! Look, if youre uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Chandler: Okay, okay, but dont worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which Im fairly certain are the same thing.
Joey: So but everything is normal.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Joey: Thanks. But maybe later.
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)