words in movies
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly With Minor Adjustments by: Tennant Stuart
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)
Ross: I dont know whether hes testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, "supposedly" by accident.
Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...
RACHEL: Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute.
[Joey enters with his new roommate who is played by none other than Elle MacPherson.]
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
[Cut to London, Chandlers hotel room. He is getting ready for bed by doing push-ups. One push-up. Just as he gets under the covers, theres a knock on the door.]
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Written by Ira Ungerlieder. Transcribed by Josh Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building.
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane
Bob: Hey Toby! Have a good night. (Walks by.)
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by: guineapig
Ross: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I dont know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: guineapig
Monica: Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
Written by: Marta Kaufmann & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig With Help From: Rachel Stigge
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Written by: Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: guineapig
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Rachel: By all means.
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: guineapig
Teleplay by: Mark Kunerth Story by: Peter Tibbals Transcribed by: Cassie With Help From: Eric Aasen
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by: Ruth Curran
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Written by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss Transcribed by: Ruth Curran
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer, he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand. One of his co-workers walks by.]
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Written by: Sherry Bilding-Graham & Ellen Plummer Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
(Phoebe walks by, ignoring the two strangers.)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Written by: Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: guineapig
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. .
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz Transcribed by: guineapig
Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! (She enters, followed by a young boy and a younger girl)...You brought your kids.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Monica: Whoa! Whoa!! Tackled by a girl! Bet ya dont see that everyday, do ya?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: guineapig
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Teleplay by: Steven Rosenhaus Story by: R. Lee Flemming, Jr. Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.)
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!
(Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.)
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by?
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Guy: I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.
Written by: Dana Klein Borkow Transcribed by: Dan Gottleib
Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
Written by: Scott Silveri Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Chris Brown Transcribed by: Dan Silverstein
Written by: Jeff Astroff & Mike Sikowitz
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Ross: Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by "bye!"
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Julie: I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you.
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.