words in movies
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Rachel: He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from before the commercial break. Monica is walking into the apartment followed by Ross and Rachel.]
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey.
Rachel: Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!
Rachel: Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
EDDIE: Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Joey: Listen, sorry I didnt stop by last night but I had a date.
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Written by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Teleplay by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Story by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel.
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Teleplay by: Scott Siveri Story by: David J. Lagana Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Monica: That's right, she came back all by herself.
Gary: Well okay, Ill swing by later. Do you live in this building?
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We dont want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Written by: Zack Rosenblatt Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
Written by: Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help from: Aaron Howard-Miller
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is getting shown to her desk by the supervisor.]
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Written by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Chandler: If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Cecilia is entering the living room from Joeys room followed by Joey.]
Pete: Well don't forget that fiches over there by Rachel.
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Teleplay by: Zachary Rosenblatt Story by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Oh because it doesnt really fit. Oh by the way, I-I booked the Swing Kings.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessicas horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Scenes Taken From Episodes Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips, guineapig, Ruth Curran, Josh Hodge, and Me.
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan and Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
Ross: Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now.
Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Written by: Greg Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Joey: Oh no, Ill be done by then.
Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Yeah, but Im the only one related by blood.
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Written by: Mark Kunerth Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)