words in movies
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the gang is helping Ross move out by carrying boxes. Chandler has picked a particularly large and apparently heavy box, because he takes a running start at it and still can't budge it.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play but is stopped by )
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
Written by: Michael Curtis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Part I Written by: Michael Borkow Part II Teleplay by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Story by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Part I Transcribed by: Eric Aasen Part II Transcribed by: Aaron D. Miller
Written by: Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Kathy: By being in a box?
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
(Suddenly Ross jumps up from behind the counter armed with a plastic gun. By the way, hes overacting too.)
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by.
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Written by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer...
[Scene: Monica's restaurant, she is getting inspected by the health department, Phoebe is watching.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Written by: Alicia Sky Varinaitis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Rachel: You walked around all night in the city by yourself?
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
Teleplay by: Seth Kirkland Story by: Michael Curtis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Directed by: Ben Weiss Written by: Mark Kunerth Transcript by: David Buehrle
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
(Joey quickly tries to hide Hugsy by throwing it over his head.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Written by: Adam Chase Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string!
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Chandler: By me?
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Gary: Okay. (He starts to leave.) So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: Fine. (She hands her bell to Ginger and starts to take down her signs.) (The same old lady walks by again.) All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. (The old lady.)
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
[Scene: Ross's building, Joey is knocking on a door again. It's again answered by Ross.]
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Phoebe: So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight.
Chandler: Before or after you were shot by your own troops?
Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way?
(Rachel heads for the door but is intercepted by the doctor.)
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Monica: All right, come here! (She gets up and drags Rachel off of the couch by her legs.)
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
Teleplay by: Wil Calhoun Story by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: How much did I love The King and I? (Oh, you get the point by now.)
Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?
Part I Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Part II Written by: Greg Malins & Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Cut to Ross's apartment, he's sitting by his window looking at an art book. As he's turning the page, he glances up and notices something.]
Rachel: No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time.
(Another guy walks by and throws his light cigarette butt in the bucket.)
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Written by: Adam Chase Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Chandler: Well, if were gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. Yknow alphabetically or by genre?
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Joey: I dont want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so lonely. (Gets an idea.) Ohooh! How about you come with me?
Monica: Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Joey: Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad.
Written by: Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Something to remember me by!
[Scene: Rosss lawyers office, his name is Russell and has just been told by Ross about his current situation.]
Written by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Teleplay by: Greg Malins Story by: Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Joey: " by doin it."
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!