words in movies
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
(Carol and Susan arrive.)
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?
Carol: Thanks.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Carol: You're gonna kill me!
Carol: Count faster.
Carol: Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie.
Carol: Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
Carol: Now go!
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
Carol: Out!
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Carol: Are they here yet?
Carol: Ok.
Carol: Ok.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Carol: Where are they?
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
Carol: But they're not here yet!
Carol: Oh, god.
Carol: (irked) Where have you been?
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Carol: (straining) Not.... helping!
Carol: What does he look like?
Carol: Really?
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Carol is holding the infant.]
Carol: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Carol: Yes!
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Carol: Whats too much fun?
Carol: Hey, Ben! Hey!
Carol: Hey! Hows Ben?
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
Carol: Maybe.
Carol: I was gonna say
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said shes having sooo much fun with Emily.
Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Carol: Oh I I think theyre funny.
Carol: Whats not funny?
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Carol: What? (Goes and checks.)
Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Carol: Thanks. (Exits.)
Carol: Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that.
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Carol: Like what?
Carol: (quickly) I love that idea!
Carol: What do you mean?
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
Carol: Oh umm, yknow I think it would be better if we just save it.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Carol: Thank you so much.
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Carol: Oh, me too.
Carol: Looks like it.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Carol: Thank you so much for coming.
Carol: (jumping up to get it) I got it!
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
CAROL: We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting.
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
CAROL: Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Carol: Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
Carol: Can I ask whatCome on in.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?
Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
Carol: Umm uh, Ill make some coffee and we can uh, chat.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Carol: Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until 92-93 he was very trusting, then 94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)