words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
(Chandler and Monica are stunned again.)
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Dont you give me any of yourHey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.)
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yes! Well that-yes.
Chandler: We actually missed it.
Chandler: What?!
(Chandler and Monica enter.)
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Joey: Oh, heres where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you.
Joey: Sure! Whats up? (He grabs a plate and proceeds to load it with a huge pile of scrambled eggs. Chandler just stares at him and Joey reluctantly gives him a spoonful.)
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Chandler: What?!
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Chandler: (returning with Joey) Hi.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Chandler: (not quite sure) You did.
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Chandler: I dont know. But I-I-I know I love you!
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Chandler: Sounds great.
Chandler: Ready!
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, yes eight.
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) Were doing the right thing, right?
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
[Scene: The hallway, Chandler is helping Monica to the door.]
Chandler: Well you did pull his hair.
Chandler: Im not getting into this again!
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Rachel: All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful. (Exits.)
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
Chandler: Me too!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Jeez, relax! Its not like were mar-ah-ah!! (Runs out.)
Chandler: (entering, slowly) Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.
Chandler: Okay!!!!!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Oh thanks.
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Chandler: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I cant get in!
Chandler: This is not a sign!
Chandler: Its an old key!
Chandler: I love you!
Chandler: Are you hugging the door right now.
Chandler: Yeah-yeah, me neither.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Chandler: The keys stuck in the lock.
Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesnt work.
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: Nice job Joe! Youre quite the craftsmen.
Chandler: Love what you've done with the place.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Oh yeah!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.
Chandler: I hate this thing!
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Chandler: Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right?
Chandler: You mean this. (Does the maneuver perfectly.)
Chandler: (entering) Hello children!
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Chandler: No-no-no-no!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Chandler: Okay, so he's out of here.
Chandler: Not even on page 7?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Chandler: Let's go quicker.
Chandler: There we go!
Chandler: Yes, it is.
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
Ross: (To Chandler) How about you?
Chandler: Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks.
Chandler: We are bad people.
(She runs off leaving a stunned Chandler behind.)
Chandler: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: About Ross!
Chandler: Yes that was a nice place!
Chandler: Ohhhhh!
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Chandler: Actually, its Miss Chinandolor Bong.
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Rachel: Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)
Chandler: Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Chandler: Are you all right?
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Without my toe?! I need my toe!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: I can't believe this.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Chandler: Look, Monica
Chandler: Nice try.
Chandler: Couldnt sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldnt sleep. Yknow? I was like, if I fall asleep now Ill get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now Ill get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldnt fall asleep.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Chandler: Yeah!
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)
Chandler: Help!
Chandler: Well, yeah actually.
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Chandler: Hi, Pheebs!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Chandler: I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!
Chandler: What is going on here?
Chandler: Yeah.
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Chandler: OhI don't know.
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Chandler: Ross?
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
Chandler: And you're okay with that?
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Chandler: Ehh, you're just liquored up.
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, Ill take care of the rest.