words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah?
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
(Chandler mouths Okay.)
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: Because, Im too afraid.
Chandler: Yeah, thatd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: I spelled out boobies.
Chandler: So, how many have you sold so far?
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: Me! On my computer.
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Chandler: Something else I might have said?
Chandler: You-you-you dont wanna give into the fear.
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Chandler: Y'know what Rach, maybe you should just, y'know stay here at the coffee house.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
Chandler: Its like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.
Chandler: Sure, everybody loves a kidder.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off!
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
Chandler: Sure, why not?
Chandler: Ah, sure, Nina. Whats up?
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
Chandler: Knit, good woman, knit, knit!
Chandler: Helen drinks. (Insincerely) Will you marry me?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is working as Nina knocks, then opens the door.]
Chandler: Well, I ended up telling her everything.
Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
(Another man, an older man, enters, looking around and bumps into Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
(Thinking quickly, Chandler desperately tries to remember anything to do with schizophrenia....)
Chandler: Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.
Chandler: Can you hear that?
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
RACHEL: Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: There it is! So what're you gonna do?
Chandler: Well, only if you order stuff.
(Nina puts her hands on her hips, then gives Chandler a quizzical look.)
Chandler: And your friend Phoebe?
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Chandler: Alright, what have we learned so far?
Chandler: Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, but I slept funny, and my hair was very very –
Chandler: Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it.
Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.
Chandler: And monkeys cant write out prescriptions.
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And (he imitates the buzzer) to you too, Helen.
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Chandler: Ah!
Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Bye bye.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: You know, you think I would.
Chandler: (answering it) Yes?
Chandler: Okay... (returning to the board) ..whose turn is it?
Chandler: Ooh. (leans against the desk)
Chandler: I say we go with Careless Whisper.
[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Chandler: (swallowing hard) Well that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion.
Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
Chandler and Ross: Hey.
Chandler: Could you want her more?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Chandler: We're notwe're not saying anything.
Chandler: And then he did.
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
Chandler: OK Phoebs, how many do you want?
Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?
Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer...
Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary?
Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father.
Phoebe: Chandler?
Chandler: Couldn't be more out. (throws in cards)
Chandler: Y'know, I've had dates like this.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Chandler: Call.
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister.
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Chandler: Good luck.
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
Chandler: Go.
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Chandler: Toootal chick-flick.
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
Chandler: Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.
Chandler: I can't believe we are even having this discussion.
Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.
Chandler: Rachel lost Marcel.
Chandler: I did not say fat! I said, "Fa-aa-aw-ow "
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Chandler: Marcel?
Chandler: Marcel?
Chandler: Yes have you seen any?
Chandler: Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...
Chandler: Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.
Chandler: Marcel?!
Chandler: No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.