words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah?
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
(Chandler mouths Okay.)
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: Because, Im too afraid.
Chandler: Yeah, thatd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: I spelled out boobies.
Chandler: So, how many have you sold so far?
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: Me! On my computer.
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Chandler: Something else I might have said?
Chandler: You-you-you dont wanna give into the fear.
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Chandler: Y'know what Rach, maybe you should just, y'know stay here at the coffee house.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
Chandler: Its like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.
Chandler: Sure, everybody loves a kidder.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off!
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
Rachel: (thinks then gasps) Chandler M. Bing?
Chandler: Why am I hearing cheering?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Bob is ransacking Chandlers office.]
Chandler: Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
Chandler: Youre an actor!
Chandler: Football? Just football?
Chandler: I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!
Chandler: How is that me?
Chandler: When have I ever done that?!
Joey: Yes I did! Im Chandler. (Looks at Chandler) Dude, what happened?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Chandler: Wow! I dont have the worst costume anymore!
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Chandler: Oh! Hi!
Chandler: (To Ross) Marry her.
Chandler: What question?
[Cut to Mona and Ross walking past Chandler.]
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Chandler: (To Monica) You picked Ross?!
Chandler: Theres no question.
Chandler: I cannot believe you didnt pick me.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho.
Chandler: (To Ross) Youre going down.
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Ross: (To Chandler) So, you gettin tired?
Chandler: God, Im exhausted.
Chandler: And dignity.
Chandler: Nope! I can do this all day.
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
Chandler: Youre Spudnik.
Chandler: Fine. (He lets Ross win.) Oh no!
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Chandler: No, I let him winRoss!
Chandler: Would you tell her I let you win please?
Chandler: I am strong! Ill show you! (He sits down at the table.)
Chandler: Listen, Ive got a secret for ya. I let him win.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Monica are standing in the kitchen.]
Monica: Chandler please!
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Chandler: I got a maid. Yay!
Chandler: No, it wasnt you.
Chandler: Yknow uh, I didnt actually do this.
Chandler: Uh honey, I know you dont like to relinquish control
Chandler: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Monica: (To Chandler) I love her.
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
Chandler: See? I told you.
Chandler: (pause) What?
Chandler: Were on a semi-first name basis.
Chandler: She mustve been planning this for years!
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Chandler: How come?
Chandler: To see her pants?
Chandler: (entering) Hi!
Chandler: Are you sure? Did you see the stain?
Chandler: Oh dear God!
Chandler: Heres another plan No!
Chandler: And yet you dont recognize that youre crazy.
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: You see that?
Chandler: You need new clothes.
Joey: Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
Chandler: Look, shes really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
Chandler: You do?
Chandler: Im leaning. This is where I lean.
Chandler: Her what?!!
Chandler: You had a bachelorette party?!
Chandler: You went home with the waitress.
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
Chandler: Well, you have to honest with her! Otherwise you may think that youre going down the same path, but youre really going down different ones.
Chandler: My God! You must be good in bed!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Chandler: And Joey.
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Youre right, this is more fun.
Chandler: Okay. I cant believe tomorrows the big day.
Chandler: That was weird.
Chandler: Thats me.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah right over there.