words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah?
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
(Chandler mouths Okay.)
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: Because, Im too afraid.
Chandler: Yeah, thatd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: I spelled out boobies.
Chandler: So, how many have you sold so far?
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: Me! On my computer.
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Chandler: Something else I might have said?
Chandler: You-you-you dont wanna give into the fear.
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Chandler: Y'know what Rach, maybe you should just, y'know stay here at the coffee house.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
Chandler: Its like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.
Chandler: Sure, everybody loves a kidder.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off!
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Chandler: (entering, loudly) Hey!
Chandler: Oh so there cant be any yelling.
Chandler: (enters) Hey, what you guys talking about?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us.
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Chandler: I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Chandler: (Enters) Hey!
Chandler: I've got good news!
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
[SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Hey, you said that without gagging!
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Monica, here's your broom back.
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Chandler: Hey!
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: How far outside?
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chandler: All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if its not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!
Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Chandler: Actually what?
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
Chandler: Of course I will call you. I love you.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler.
Chandler: Awww. (They hug) Bye!
Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss)
Chandler: I know.
Monica: Chandler, we still havent gotten an RSVP from your dad.
Chandler: Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Chandler: What?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they're entering to find boxes strewn about the apartment.]
<Chandler gives a look that says "Yeah!">
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?
Chandler: That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Chandler: DO NOT DISTURB DO NOT DISTURB! Monica: (smiles)
[Scene: Chandler arrives home from work.]
Chandler: Ok honey. that was close.
Monica:: Yes! Chandler Watches Shark Porn!
Chandler: Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)
Chandler: oh it was great.
Chandler: Hi honey I'm home!
[Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.]
CHANDLER: So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
Chandler: no they don't
Chandler: What's going on?
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Chandler: does what always have to be sharks.
Chandler: let ME be a part of this!
Chandler: yeah just some good old fashion girl on girl American action.
[Scene: Central Perk. All except Chandler, plus Emma.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler�s not here.
CHANDLER: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Chandler: I always liked you, Ken. (takes a cigarette)
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Chandler: Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it?
Chandler: No thanks, I�m good.
Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.
Chandler: Pheebs?
Phoebe: (smells at him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.
Chandler: But, those are for you.
Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell � Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Chandler: (smiling a little nervously) Hmm mmmhm..