words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah?
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
(Chandler mouths Okay.)
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: Because, Im too afraid.
Chandler: Yeah, thatd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: I spelled out boobies.
Chandler: So, how many have you sold so far?
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: Me! On my computer.
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Chandler: Something else I might have said?
Chandler: You-you-you dont wanna give into the fear.
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Chandler: Y'know what Rach, maybe you should just, y'know stay here at the coffee house.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
Chandler: Its like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.
Chandler: Sure, everybody loves a kidder.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off!
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Chandler: Raymond Chandler.
Chandler: Wow, youre, youre right. I have a horrible, horrible name.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
(Chandler enters from his bedroom, all depressed and wearing sweat pants, with the chick and duck in tow.)
Chandler: All right ladies, heres what were gonna do. (Points to a stripper.) You are gonna take off my clothes. (To another two strippers) You two, go get the oils. (To another stripper) And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandlers the king! Chandlers the king!"
Chandler: (to the ticket agent) American Express?
Chandler: They dont really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though.
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no I was just squinting. That doesnt mean anything.
Chandler: And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is attempting his pre-emptive strike.]
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
CHANDLER: Where is she, Where is she? (grabs Rachel) Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she?
Chandler: I have no name.
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Chandler: No, no, youre right, it is a ridiculous name!
Chandler: Pregnant Woman Slays Four?
Chandler: Okay. Thanks.
Chandler: Bye, Pheebs!
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Yay!
Chandler: Ha! Ha! Ha!
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Chandler: Your pants!
Chandler: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Chandler: Santa pants. (Phoebe still doesnt get it.) Santa Clauss pants.
Chandler: Yeah we do!
Chandler: Are you serious?
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Chandler: You do know that Wham broke up?
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Chandler: Man, didnt she like just get here?
Chandler: Easy tiger.
Chandler: Where is Emily?
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Chandler: Are you serious?
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Chandler: Because youve only known her for six weeks! Okay, Ive got a carton of milk in my fridge Ive had a longer relationship with!
Chandler: No thank you.
Chandler: Screw the Knicks!
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: All right look, Im changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.
Chandler: Fine, lets do it.
Chandler: Okay, you guys uh, you guys pick first
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
(He looks to Chandler, who doesnt have a clue.)
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Chandler: Thats a low one!
Chandler: Yeah baby!
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
Chandler: No they didnt!
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Chandler: Oh yeah, thats very nice. Plus, yknow they were free and theyre too small.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: I KNOW!!!
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Chandler: Oh. Oh, God! (He starts running around like a chicken with his head cut off.)
Chandler: Open up! Open up! Open up!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Good night.
Chandler: Totally worth it!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Oh, well, thats great!
Chandler: Well, youre gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, were switching it back! Theres nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Oh. Oh, did-did-did I wake you?
Monica: Chandler, thats like your fourth cup of coffee!
Chandler: Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? (Gunther starts to pour him another cup.) So uh, what do you do when youre not working here?
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting another cup of coffee.]
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Chandler: They dont have those.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Chandler: Next time you snore, Im rolling ya over!
Chandler: Hey, all right!
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Chandler: Yknow, whipped! Wah-pah!
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Chandler: Those were like the best seats ever.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Chandler: Its 6:00.