words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah?
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
(Chandler mouths Okay.)
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: Because, Im too afraid.
Chandler: Yeah, thatd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: I spelled out boobies.
Chandler: So, how many have you sold so far?
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: Me! On my computer.
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Chandler: Something else I might have said?
Chandler: You-you-you dont wanna give into the fear.
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Chandler: Y'know what Rach, maybe you should just, y'know stay here at the coffee house.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
Chandler: Its like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.
Chandler: Sure, everybody loves a kidder.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off!
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
[Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler exchange money again.]
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
ROSS, CHANDLER & JOEY: Yes!
Chandler: (stares at her intently, then yells) It was a "Wendy's!! "
CHANDLER: Whoa, she's pretty.
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
CHANDLER: Oh, ok.
CHANDLER: Nice!
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah.
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
CHANDLER: Believe me, sometimes that happens.
CHANDLER: Ok, pure evil, horny and alone. I've done this.
CHANDLER: Damn. My mail order grandfather hasn't come yet.
Ross: (not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Rachel: Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing?
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
CHANDLER: Yes, apparently Stevie and the band are like this.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]
CHANDLER: Well now you understand how I feel every single day, ok? The world is my lesbian wedding.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah?
Chandler: (tastes it) Well.... it is amouz-ing...
Joey: (opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?
CHANDLER: Isn't Ben in this?
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
CHANDLER: Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming.
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
CHANDLER: Rhythm?
CHANDLER: Hello.
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
CHANDLER: Wait, wait, wait. [Opens the top of the dish soap he's holding]
Chandler: That's patio furniture!
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
CHANDLER: Why, it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish! The Blowfish!
Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen.
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
CHANDLER: Eeeshk.
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
Rachel: Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
SUSIE: Uh, is your name Chandler?
[Scene: Frank's tailor shop, Chandler is getting his pants measured.]
SUSIE: Chandler Bing?
CHANDLER: Uh, yes, yes it is.
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
CHANDLER: Ahhhh.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
(Chandler and Joey are dumbstruck for a moment)
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
CHANDLER: Oh uh, o, OK.
[back to Chandler and Susie]
CHANDLER: No one was around to hear that?
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
[Chandler enters]
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
CHANDLER: Like, when you're cooking a steak.
CHANDLER: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done.
CHANDLER: OK, then, eat me, I'm done.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
Chandler: Well Ive been playing it for like eight hours, itll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, theyre dirty words.
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: Oh.
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
CHANDLER: OK.
Chandler: (Very defensive.) Im not seeing Monica.
CHANDLER: Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?
CHANDLER: Alrighty. [we see Chandler's pants drop from under the stall door]
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
CHANDLER: What, what's what you mean?
CHANDLER: Huh? Where, whaddya mean?
Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...
CHANDLER: Joey!
CHANDLER: Joey?
CHANDLER: Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes.
CHANDLER: No, no, this is the first time.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
CHANDLER: No, no, you don't have to see.
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
CHANDLER: What's this?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Chandler: (rubbing his temples) Oh, no-no-no-no-no....
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.