words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!
Chandler: Hey Joe whats up?
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?
Chandler: I dont think so.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, Im right here.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Chandler: What? Thats terrible!
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Chandler: Why?
Rachel: Chandler, arent you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find em faster!
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Chandler: Because thats where Joey gave me some stuff to store that Ive never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]
Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!
Chandler: Those are my gifts, I got them for you.
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Rachel: Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing?
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Chandler: Oh, hey guys!
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
Chandler: What?
Phoebe: Oh, this ones for Chandler. Here.
Chandler: Oh great!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay!
Chandler: Wait, we cant do this.
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Chandler: Fine!
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Chandler: Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go.
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
Chandler: (entering) Hello!
Chandler: I didnt know that.
Chandler: (sarcastic) Noo.
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Chandler: Oh, that's Ross's.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry
Chandler: I'm over here big guy.
Chandler and Joey: Ohhh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
CHANDLER: We have to assign heads to something.
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Chandler: (laughing) You did look like an idiot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Chandler: If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard.
Chandler: Well, You could, but... probably just the one time.
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Chandler: Oh, its awkward. Its awkward. Its awkward.
Chandler: (shocked) Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, youyeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Chandler: Im not even Im not even
Joey: Yes! (to Chandler) Shame about you man.
Chandler: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Chandler: (entering) Hey guys, what are you doing?
Chandler: He just said, "No strippers."
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Chandler: Central Perk?
Chandler: Lets just say if I cant find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Joey enter having just woken up.]
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Chandler: (opening the door) What?
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Chandler: You slept with the stripper?
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Chandler: Way to be cool, man.
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
[Scene: Chandlers office, the guys are there waiting to ambush the stripper.]
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Chandler: He will, Joe.
Chandler: Hey, come on, its not your fault.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Chandler: You cant tell, but Im trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No, you should.
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Chandler: No. No. Were not gonna do that, yknow why? Because its not an even trade.
Chandler: What a baby.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Chandler: You got your passport?
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Chandler: There it is.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? I was wrong.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You cant offer anything to us!
Chandler: I am, Im ignoring you.
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Chandler: To Put the Camera Away!!!
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!