words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!
Chandler: Hey Joe whats up?
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?
Chandler: I dont think so.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, Im right here.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Chandler: What? Thats terrible!
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Chandler: Why?
Rachel: Chandler, arent you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find em faster!
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Chandler: Because thats where Joey gave me some stuff to store that Ive never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]
Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!
Chandler: Those are my gifts, I got them for you.
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Rachel: Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing?
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Chandler: Oh, hey guys!
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
Chandler: What?
Phoebe: Oh, this ones for Chandler. Here.
Chandler: Oh great!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay!
Chandler: Wait, we cant do this.
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Chandler: Fine!
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
Gunther: (to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, theres none of that in here.
Chandler: Oh come on man! At least let me finish this last one.
(Chandler enters with a cigarette.)
Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Chandler: Okay, thats like the least fun game ever.
Chandler: No-no, why dont you hang on to that one.
Chandler: Okay.
(Chandler hands him the cigarette, and he takes a long drag.)
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Chandler: Or what my Father called Thursday night.
Chandler: Always illegal Joe.
Chandler: Y'know, I wouldve bet good money that hed be the first one of us to get married.
Chandler: If that doesnt keep kids in school, what will?
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
[Scene: At Chandler and Joey's. Ross and Chandler are there. Ross is watching wrestling.]
Chandler: She was.... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules.
Chandler: Thanks
Chandler: This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program!
Chandler: Y'know what, pretty good.
Chandler: What check thing?
Chandler: There you go!!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Chandler: (to the girls who are staring at him) What?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Chandler: Look, Im just gonna be across the hall, we can still do all the same stuff.
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is making a sandwich as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
(Chandler and Joey are loaded down with baby stuff, and Ben)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Chandler: Its horrible.
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Chandler: Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Chandler: Okay, then get the lobster!
Chandler: Okay, okay, just because he buys you dinner, does not mean you owe him anything.
(He starts to walk to the bathroom and hears the hypnosis tape from Chandlers bedroom.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, hes listening to the hypnosis tape again.]
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
(Chandler wakes up and stares at the tape.)
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Chandler: Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight?
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) I-kea! This is comfortable.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
CHANDLER: I'm afraid I might just be.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is telling Chandler about Kate.]
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Chandler: And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again?
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
[Scene: The Philly, Chandler and Joey are talking to Chloe.]
Chandler: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr!
Chandler: And youre our age. Youre our age.
Chandler: Thats not a state Joe.
Chandler: Youre our age!
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You cant just stare through the peep hole for three hours! Youre gonna get peep eye!
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: You didnt just break up.
Chandler: No!! You cant!!
Chandler: Stop what?!
Chandler: Look man!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Rosss head)
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
Chandler: Im talking about you. You big, big freak.
Chandler: Oh good, because uh we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.
Chandler: Cause its-its not his last name.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
Chandler: Okay, lets play my game now.
Chandler: So, ahh, what kind of powers would Gold Man have?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Chandler: My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.
[Chandler crumples up his cigarette pack and throws it on the ground.]
Chandler: Thats the stuff! (quickly grabs it)
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Chandler: Yes, I realise that.
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Kathy: Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! (Runs back to Chandler)