words in movies
ROSS, CHANDLER & JOEY: Yes!
CHANDLER: [singing to the tune of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood] Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.
CHANDLER: Whoa, she's pretty.
CHANDLER: Oh, ok.
CHANDLER: Nice!
CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.
CHANDLER: That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah.
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
CHANDLER: Believe me, sometimes that happens.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
CHANDLER: Damn. My mail order grandfather hasn't come yet.
CHANDLER: Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles.
CHANDLER: Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon.
CHANDLER: Well now you understand how I feel every single day, ok? The world is my lesbian wedding.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah?
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
CHANDLER: Isn't Ben in this?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Chandler: I got a maid. Yay!
Chandler: No, it wasnt you.
Chandler: Yknow uh, I didnt actually do this.
Chandler: Uh honey, I know you dont like to relinquish control
Chandler: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Monica: (To Chandler) I love her.
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
Chandler: See? I told you.
Chandler: (pause) What?
Chandler: Were on a semi-first name basis.
Chandler: She mustve been planning this for years!
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Chandler: How come?
Chandler: To see her pants?
Chandler: (entering) Hi!
Chandler: Are you sure? Did you see the stain?
Chandler: Oh dear God!
Chandler: Heres another plan No!
Chandler: And yet you dont recognize that youre crazy.
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: You see that?
Chandler: You need new clothes.
Joey: Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
Chandler: Look, shes really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
Chandler: You do?
Chandler: Im leaning. This is where I lean.
Chandler: Her what?!!
Chandler: You had a bachelorette party?!
Chandler: You went home with the waitress.
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
Chandler: Well, you have to honest with her! Otherwise you may think that youre going down the same path, but youre really going down different ones.
Chandler: My God! You must be good in bed!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Chandler: And Joey.
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Youre right, this is more fun.
Chandler: Okay. I cant believe tomorrows the big day.
Chandler: That was weird.
Chandler: Thats me.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah right over there.
Stripper: So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler?
Chandler: So shes a
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
Chandler: Oh actually, Id rather you Yeah, go ahead. Were gonna have to burn that room down anyway.
Chandler: That is funny, maybe for my birthday shell murder someone.
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still deciding what to do about the hooker.]
Chandler: Why would she do that?
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Chandler: Why me?!
Chandler: This is the worst bachelor party ever!
Chandler: Well we we still hang out.
Chandler: You do it!
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Chandler: Well yknow, things are different. Im Im married now.
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the gang is helping Ross move out by carrying boxes. Chandler has picked a particularly large and apparently heavy box, because he takes a running start at it and still can't budge it.]
Chandler: Monica! Wait!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
Chandler: (closing the box) Yknow what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
Chandler: (puts on his crown) Carry on.
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Chandler: Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV.
Chandler: I have no idea.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Chandler: Im watching the game, but Im not deaf!
Chandler: Oh come on!
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
Chandler: Good game!
Chandler: Yeah. Solid effort. Solid effort.
Chandler: Treegers snaking the shower drain.
Monica: Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters.
Chandler: (simultaneously) Detroit.
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Monica: (laughs) This is Chandlers chicken. This is the turkey. (Sets down a huge turkey.)
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
MONICA: With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia?