words in movies
Chandler: Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress.
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Chandler: The abridgment.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]
Chandler: ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!
Chandler: Oh no, no, no, no.
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Chandler: Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Chandler: Bye-bye.
Chandler: What, what, what?!
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully dressed, right?
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Chandler: Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
Chandler: Sounds like two people are really enjoying the Dewey decimal system.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Chandler: (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. Its not named for each individual man.
Chandler: (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out whats going on.
Chandler: Hey-hey are you drunk?
Chandler: Yes!!
Chandler: Yeah, Ill take care of it.
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Okay, heres the thing. Were gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that youre drunk.
Chandler: Okay.
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Chandler: (laughing) Okay we have to do something about your breath.
Chandler: Thats still yours. Okay, now remember its a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Chandler: Monicas a little drunk.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Chandler: Monicas wasted.
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Chandler: Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Chandler: No, because youre not a grandmother!
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
Chandler: Pheebs!!
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Chandler: (To Monica) How are you feeling?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
Chandler: What?
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Chandler: Okay, here we go.
Chandler: Hey! Howd it go?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Chandler: Too?
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Chandler: Thats great!
(She serves to Doug who returns it to Chandler. As it bounces over his head Chandler swings and misses.)
Chandler: Dont do it.
Chandler: I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
Chandler: (correcting her) Phil.
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Chandler: Yes!!
Chandler: (turning around and looking) Oh my God!
Chandler: Why is your family Ross?!
Chandler: Oh no thanks. I dont like any thing from my Scottish heritage.
Chandler: Because we hate them.
Chandler: We heard you play all the way from your apartment!
Chandler: (to the Maitre d') Hi, could we get two burritos to go, please? (Laughs.)
Chandler: We have heard you play.
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Monica: Oh, and by the way, hes lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! (Joey clears his throat.) I still love Chandler.
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
Chandler: Hi, honey! Im home!
Chandler: You mean the spitter?
Chandler: Sorry, I just dont like the idea of when I say, "I do," hes thinking, "Yeah, Id do her too!"
Chandler: You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something?
Chandler: Easy for you to say; youll be wearing a veil.
Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.
Chandler: Joe
Chandler: Yknow its funny I started it but, now its scary me. So could you come out here please?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch as Joey enters.]
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow, we havent found anybody else.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Yeah you can do it.
Joey: (turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Chandler: Oh you got a wedding dress? Thats great!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Our minister
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Well then why cant I see it?
Chandler: Okay I promise. Ill-Ill hate it. (She enters.) Wow! You-you look hideous.
Chandler: Well, here we are, just a bunch of thirty year olds.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Oh thats great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean its like yuck! Its terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.]
Chandler: (without turning around) I thought you were gonna be gone all day.
Chandler: If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.