words in movies
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
Chandler: You!
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Chandler: Oh, I can uh, check that for ya.
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Chandler: Well we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Diet soda.
Chandler: Orange juice.
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.
Chandler: All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it.
Chandler: Fears and Pet Peeves.
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Joey: (to Chandler) The Irish gig guy?!
Chandler: His legs flail about as if independent of his body!
Joey: (to Chandler) Nana?
Chandler: She has a real name.
Chandler: Althea?! What are you doing?!
Chandler: You're shooting with Althea?!
Chandler: Nice shooting!
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Actually, its Miss Chinandolor Bong.
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Chandler: Well, Im so confused as to what weve been doing so far
Chandler: Say 200?
Monica: We wont. (to Chandler) 300?
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts jumping around.)
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Chandler: Fancy.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Chandler and Joey: YEAH!!! YES!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, but I bet it works.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Chandler: Well believe it baby!
Chandler: I knew it!
Chandler: Cool, girl roommate.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Chandler: I cant believe we live here!
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: Oh relax man, relax. Youre looking a little flushed.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Chandler: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Yknow, that party wasnt bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hop on.
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Chandler: Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Chandler: (pause) I dont have your boots.
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Chandler: Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)
Chandler: Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
Chandler: Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Monica: (to the boots) Bye bootsWait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Chandler: Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Chandler: No.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Doug is entering.]
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
Chandler: Well now-now youre just talking crazy.
Chandler: Because uh we-we we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Should we call the spitter?
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Chandler: Hi honey Im home.
Chandler: Ooh, I dont know if were there yet.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Chandler: Oh, okay.
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Chandler: I kinda like it here.
Chandler: Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?
Chandler: Well what did it do?
Chandler: Bravo Dennis thanks for pleasing my mother so.
Chandler: A vending machine?
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Monica: Chandler! Phoebes hogging the game!
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
Chandler: Who cares? Its a stupid game.
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Monica: Chandler! Hes seven; hes not stupid.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
Chandler: Because its awesome.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Chandler: With the claw?!
Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today?
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Chandler: (smiles) Pull my finger(Looks at his hand)My hand is messed up.
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Chandler: Look, when Ive been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and Im sorry.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
Chandler: All right! Go left! Go left! Go right!! Go right!!
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Chandler: Really? I dont like baths.