words in movies
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
Chandler: You!
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Chandler: Oh, I can uh, check that for ya.
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Chandler: Well we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Diet soda.
Chandler: Orange juice.
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.
Chandler: All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it.
Chandler: Fears and Pet Peeves.
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Joey: (to Chandler) The Irish gig guy?!
Chandler: His legs flail about as if independent of his body!
Joey: (to Chandler) Nana?
Chandler: She has a real name.
Chandler: Althea?! What are you doing?!
Chandler: You're shooting with Althea?!
Chandler: Nice shooting!
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Actually, its Miss Chinandolor Bong.
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Chandler: Well, Im so confused as to what weve been doing so far
Chandler: Say 200?
Monica: We wont. (to Chandler) 300?
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts jumping around.)
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Chandler: Fancy.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Chandler and Joey: YEAH!!! YES!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, but I bet it works.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Chandler: Well believe it baby!
Chandler: I knew it!
Chandler: Cool, girl roommate.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Chandler: I cant believe we live here!
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
Chandler: Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Chandler: Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Chandler: Yeah, I-I-I think so. (Pauses and thinks about it for a second) Yeah, I-I think so...
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, (claps his hands) banging his hands together!
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Chandler: Okay, so when do you want to go?
Chandler: (confused) Sure...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Rent?
Chandler: A pen.
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Chandler: For three years?
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel, Rachel is there, Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Chandler: Where?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Chandler: Oh yeah? That's great!
Chandler: Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Chandler: Oh, yeah... yeah.
Chandler: Happy birthday! I'm sorry.
Chandler: Hey! Happy birthday.
Chandler: No he didn't. [Moving it back.]
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Chandler: Uh, the book?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Chandler: What do you mean?
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: Goodnight. (Goes to his room.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, he's my... he's my best friend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?
Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh my God! Play!
Chandler: You mean like, music?
Chandler: Come in!
Chandler: I don't know... um, Grease?
[Scene: The conference room in Tulsa again, Chandler is trying to evade Wendy]
Chandler: What happened?
Chandler: Joey! Joey!!
Chandler: Why cant you tell her?
Chandler: I thought your time ran out.
Chandler: Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Chandler: Really, bitchin!
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Chandler: Kay.
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Yeah. Yes! Yeah.
Chandler: Okay.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: Wait the uh, the kiss or the situation?
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Chandler: I-I think we have too.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: What-what cha doin?
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Chandler: I sure did.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]