words in movies
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
Chandler: You!
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Chandler: Oh, I can uh, check that for ya.
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Chandler: Well we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Diet soda.
Chandler: Orange juice.
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.
Chandler: All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it.
Chandler: Fears and Pet Peeves.
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Joey: (to Chandler) The Irish gig guy?!
Chandler: His legs flail about as if independent of his body!
Joey: (to Chandler) Nana?
Chandler: She has a real name.
Chandler: Althea?! What are you doing?!
Chandler: You're shooting with Althea?!
Chandler: Nice shooting!
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Actually, its Miss Chinandolor Bong.
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Chandler: Well, Im so confused as to what weve been doing so far
Chandler: Say 200?
Monica: We wont. (to Chandler) 300?
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts jumping around.)
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Chandler: Fancy.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Chandler and Joey: YEAH!!! YES!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, but I bet it works.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Chandler: Well believe it baby!
Chandler: I knew it!
Chandler: Cool, girl roommate.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Chandler: I cant believe we live here!
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
CHANDLER: Ohhh [turns as if to hug someone] Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one.
CHANDLER: Hey.
Chandler: Well, I could make it seem like hes here. (Imitates him.) "Heres some little known facts about cous-cous. They didnt add the second cous until 1979." (Mumbles something further.)
EDDIE: I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
CHANDLER: Don't play with his things.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
CHANDLER: You had to ask.
CHANDLER: I think you played the Gunther card too soon.
CHANDLER: Your cappucino sir.
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
CHANDLER: Ya know I think this is much better than the coffee house.
CHANDLER: Ok.
CHANDLER: No?
Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished...
Chandler: Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Monica: Chandler, this actually bothers you?
Chandler: And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
CHANDLER: You burn your mouth?
CHANDLER: Would you come on! Come on! [waitress brings their coffee] Thank you.
CHANDLER: Bullies, big bullies.
Chandler: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.
CHANDLER: Ah, there we go.
CHANDLER: Alright, let's do this.
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
CHANDLER: Ok. [reaches in his pocket]
CHANDLER: Ok.
CHANDLER: Yes, we're standing out ground...apparently.
CHANDLER: Well, it's sharp, it's metal, I think I can do some, you know, serious damage with it.
CHANDLER: [being left behind] Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I wouldn't know having missed everything.
CHANDLER: Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! [some guy runs off with the hat]
CHANDLER: Hi Monica.
CHANDLER: Ok so, can I have my hat back?
CHANDLER: Guys guys, check this out.
CHANDLER: Wow, it's, it's like porno for clowns.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.
CHANDLER: Excuse me?
CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?
CHANDLER: NO! No, I'll take that for ya.
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
CHANDLER: So, basically just a Chinese guy.
CHANDLER: Yes because uh, you look so young.
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
CHANDLER: Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area.
CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
[Time lapse. Chandler runs out of the bathroom.]
CHANDLER: Well, we could count again.
CHANDLER: Look, are you gonna be ok?
CHANDLER: Volleyball.
CHANDLER: Ok, that's me. [runs back]
CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.
[Back in Chandler and Joey's party]
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party]
Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) Im hungry.
[Chandler and Joey stop dancing and laugh at her]
CHANDLER: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister.
[Chandler and Joey's party]
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
[Chandler and Joey's party]
Chandler: Okay. And its not just chicks y'know? Its all kinds of other animals!
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
CHANDLER: Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
CHANDLER: No.
Chandler: Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow.
CHANDLER: Alright, hang on a second there Custer.
[Chandler is visibly upset]
CHANDLER: Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster...
CHANDLER: That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
CHANDLER: Had it.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.]
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Chandler: Well y'know a lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs.
CHANDLER: Weird world. Your kids?
CHANDLER: Well there you go.
CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
Chandler: (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, were never leaving, ever.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
CHANDLER: Kick save and... denied.
CHANDLER: Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.
CHANDLER: Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. Hey Mr. Douglas.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
CHANDLER: Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything?