words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
Chandler: Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldnt you be at work?
Chandler: Im so sorry youre sick.
Chandler: Im gonna grab you some tissue.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Chandler: Yes?
Chandler: Oh my God, introduce us!
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)
Chandler: Yeah, I dont you should say that even when youre healthy.
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Monica: (still sick) Chandler!
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Chandler: Oh Jeez honey, I thought, I thought you were asleep.
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
Chandler: Would you please get some rest!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Monica: (entering) Chandler, I think Im sick.
Chandler: Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe!
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no, you are not getting me this way.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no!
Chandler: Okay.
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Chandler: So youre just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?
Chandler: Its nice.
Chandler: Yes! (Hangs his head in shame.)
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Chandler: Oh come on you big faker!
Chandler: Well that was before all the vaporizing action.
Chandler: Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Chandler: We got some Vap-O-Rub in some places.
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Chandler: Hes taking off her coat!
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Chandler: But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: So?!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (initially worried, but gets over it) Really?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Chandler: Oh, tell her good luck with that.
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
Chandler: Oh thats so funny because we found someone too.
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Chandler: (To Monica) All yours babe. (Walks away.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Chandler: A face ass?
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Chandler: Our guy smells incredible.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Chandler: Well, you dont look good Joe.
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Chandler: Our new fridge? I dont live here anymore.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Chandler: Just tell her the truth! Tell her youre not ready.
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Monica: Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandlers work!
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Chandler: Are you funny?
Chandler: Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible!
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Chandler: Okay, so you will meet our guys?
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
Chandler: (To Ross) Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say?
Chandler: Well, maybe you dont marry this one.
Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)
Chandler: Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Chandler: Its a sock bunny.
Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: You know the hotels?
All: (Chandler stops her) No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat!
Chandler: (panicked) ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Good-good-good-good.
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Chandler: Oh, ok.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Chandler: Do you want me to call?
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Chandler: Oh, are we playing this?!
Chandler: So it did go well.
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Chandler: As crazy as soccer?
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Chandler: I messed up. Okay? Im sorry, I really messed up.