words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
CHANDLER: Hey. Hold on a second. [shoots a goal] Huh?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
CHANDLER: What's this?
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: I so am.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
CHANDLER: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
CHANDLER: Ya know, the man's got a point. [gestures with his arm and the bracelet falls off]
CHANDLER: That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
CHANDLER: Chandler. [waves his arm around, exposing the bracelet]
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: I can't believe it.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
CHANDLER: That's what they'll call us.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
CHANDLER: We're worried about you.
CHANDLER: C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless.
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
CHANDLER: It's gonna be ok. You know that?
CHANDLER: I'm sorry man.
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
CHANDLER: Ok, good night. [walks towards his room] You big freak of nature.
CHANDLER: Why?
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom. Chandler is sleeping and Eddie is there watching him.]
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
CHANDLER: GET OUT NOW!!
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
CHANDLER: I want you out.
CHANDLER: Yes please.
CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?
[Eddie leaves the room and Chandler mouths "Thank you" to himself]
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
CHANDLER: See, that's why we don't let her play.
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
Chandler: See, Im not bad at this fixing up thing, huh?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
CHANDLER: Uhhhaahh.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
CHANDLER: Your last roommate's kidney?
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: Uuuh.
CHANDLER: Why must everybody watch me sleep? There'll be no more watching me sleep, no more watching.
CHANDLER: Uh-huh.
CHANDLER: Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
CHANDLER: This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue.
CHANDLER: You want some help.
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
CHANDLER: [stares in disbeliefe] Yeah o-, OK, alright. [oven timer goes off] Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch.
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
CHANDLER: Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
CHANDLER: Well, how do you find clothes that fit?
Chandler: Op, op, Im convinced!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
CHANDLER: Our next cocktail party?
CHANDLER: So what happened?
CHANDLER: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
CHANDLER: Eddie, do you remember yesterday?
CHANDLER: I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
CHANDLER: Oh sweet Moses.
CHANDLER: Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.
CHANDLER: May I help you?
[Scene: Hallway outside Chandler and Joey's apartment. Eddie walks up.]
CHANDLER: Well, I'm, I'm sorry...[Eddie forces his head in the door] Ahhh. Have we met?
CHANDLER: Well I, I think we'd remember something like that.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
CHANDLER: Absolutely.
CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
CHANDLER: You're not a dad. You're not a dad.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
CHANDLER: Ahhhh-gaaaahhh. Eddie what're you still doin' here?
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
CHANDLER: No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work.
Chandler: Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk?
Chandler: Hey, look at all the boxes!
CHANDLER: What just happened?
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are plugging in a bunch of electronics.]
CHANDLER: Yeah alright. What're these, raisins?
CHANDLER: Man, I am so beat.
CHANDLER: That, that is funny. Can I have it back?
CHANDLER: No?
CHANDLER: Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?
Chandler: Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back.
CHANDLER: No, just wanna make sure we're on the same page.
CHANDLER: Stop talking, stop talking now. Let me just get this straight. You're actually stealing my hat?
CHANDLER: The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat.
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
CHANDLER: Ohhh [turns as if to hug someone] Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one.
CHANDLER: Hey.
Chandler: Well, I could make it seem like hes here. (Imitates him.) "Heres some little known facts about cous-cous. They didnt add the second cous until 1979." (Mumbles something further.)
EDDIE: I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
CHANDLER: Don't play with his things.
CHANDLER: You had to ask.