words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
CHANDLER: Hey. Hold on a second. [shoots a goal] Huh?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
CHANDLER: What's this?
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: I so am.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
CHANDLER: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
CHANDLER: Ya know, the man's got a point. [gestures with his arm and the bracelet falls off]
CHANDLER: That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
CHANDLER: Chandler. [waves his arm around, exposing the bracelet]
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: I can't believe it.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
CHANDLER: That's what they'll call us.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
Chandler: (To Monica) You told her?!
Chandler: Oh, its so hard to care when youre this relaxed.
Chandler: You like Rachel?!
Chandler: Ill Ill get you later!
Chandler: (thinking) All right, this isnt so bad. I like the flower smell! Which is okay, because Ive got my boat.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
Chandler: Well you proved them wrong.
Chandler: Youre not?
Chandler: Yeah. And what youre doing feels so good.
(They all hug and then turn and look at Chandler)
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]
Chandler: Hey Pheebs, whats up?
Phoebe: Oh are you and Chandler
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Monica: (laughs) No. (Closes the door as Chandler walks up.)
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Well, Phoebe I thought Id(Off Phoebes look)Yeah, what the hell. (Exits with Phoebe.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Chandler: Hey babe.
Chandler: How about to the street say from the balcony?
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has opened another wedding present as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Okay. How about in that cabinet?
Phoebe: (entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!
Chandler: Fine.
Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! TV announcer: And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives .
Chandler: Dont try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!
Chandler: (walking casually away) Love you.
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on the secret closet when someone enters.]
Chandler: And here we go
Chandler: Honey, its 2:00 on a Wednesday and Im watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?
Chandler: No not (imitating) Candy Lady.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Chandler: There has got to be a way!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Chandler: Thats a good idea.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Yeah. (Checks his hair.) Oh no wait, Im not an nine-year-old girl.
Chandler: (laughs) Youre messy.
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Chandler: Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet.
Chandler: Are you okay?
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Chandler: Happy Valentines!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler enters with a bouquet of roses.]
Chandler: Woah, woah, thats not pretty!
(The woman groans, moans, grunts, and screams. Chandlers eyes get huge!)
Chandler: Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever! (Chandler starts to press buttons on the remote control, frantically.)
Chandler: I am trying!
Chandler: I dont think weve actually done this before!
Chandler: I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentines Day.
Chandler: Do I smell essential oils?
Chandler: (pointing at the video) Why did you get me this?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Chandler: Well, Im not really in a sexy mood right now.
(Chandler glances up at Monica with his mouth still wide open and his eyes still huge)
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Chandler: You dont know. You didnt see it.
Chandler: Well, remember the first time we saw Jaws?
Chandler: Nice job Joe! Youre quite the craftsmen.
Chandler: See, honey, theres(puts his hand on her leg)
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
Chandler: How long it took to go back in the water?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Chandler: Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet?
Chandler: (hoarsely) Water! Water! Water!
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Chandler: 90 seconds.
(Goes to the bathroom and Chandler turns on the TV and finds a high-speed police chase.)
Chandler: I can do that.
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Chandler: Okay. Now all weve got to do is get rid of this chair.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Chandler: Poor Ross.
Chandler: Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes!
(Chandler takes the tape and sticks it under the chair cushion)
Chandler: Oh, I know!
(Monica and Chandler both look at each other and run over to the window to watch the action in Ross apartment)
Chandler: Oh, and we should warn you, before you watch it: dont watch it.
Chandler: Why have I seen this thing three times?!
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
Chandler: Wait, you guys, look!
Chandler: And look how happy the mom is now!
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!