words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
CHANDLER: Hey. Hold on a second. [shoots a goal] Huh?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
CHANDLER: What's this?
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: I so am.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
CHANDLER: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
CHANDLER: Ya know, the man's got a point. [gestures with his arm and the bracelet falls off]
CHANDLER: That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
CHANDLER: Chandler. [waves his arm around, exposing the bracelet]
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: I can't believe it.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
CHANDLER: That's what they'll call us.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kids pretzel at them.
Monica: (to Chandler) Stick out your tongue.
Joey: Chandler!
Chandler: Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
(Cut to Chandler)
Sister 1: (to Chandler) What cha doing?
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
Chandler: Hey! Well, Ive been preparing for that my entire life! Or something about you thats mean!
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Chandler: I cant remember which sister.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Chandler: Why cant we talk in here? With, with, witnesses.
Chandler: Yep, Im in a tree.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Rachel: Hey. (they all walk away from Chandler)
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
Chandler: Wheres Mary-Angela?
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
Rachel: Chandler! Youre smoking? What are you doing?!
Chandler: Im here to see Mary-Angela.
Chandler: Hey, shut up!! Youre not my real Mom!!
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Chandler: So um, Mary-Angela, whats your second favorite?
Chandler: Will you excuse me I have to um..... (walks to the hall)
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
Chandler: So will I.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Chandler: (startled) Hey!
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Chandler: Oh, this is soo bad. (doesnt see Mary-Angela)
Mary-Angela: (standing behind Chandler) I am!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Chandler: Okay, absolutely!
Chandler: What?! (Cookie punches him)
Joey: (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
Chandler: Dont worry.
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
Chandler: Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
Chandler: Oh no, no, no, no.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]
CHANDLER: No freakshow, she's fictional.
CHANDLER: Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did.
Chandler: What, what, what?!
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Chandler: Bye-bye.
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if youre not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Chandler: Well, lets just say its ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself.
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Chandler: Princess Leia in the gold bikini.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Chandler: Yeah, baby!
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. Do you want some?
Chandler: Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Phoebe: Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert.
Chandler: Oh, hey.
Chandler: (standing up) Im up! Im up, Ive gotten up now! Anybody ah, want anything?
Chandler: Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames.
Chandler: Okay Ross, why dont you come with me?
Chandler: No. He.....hes coming out of his shorts.
Chandler: The man is showing brain.
Chandler: What do we do? What do we do?
Chandler: Roberts coming out.
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....