words in movies
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Chandler: Wow.
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Chandler (reading the newspaper): Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
Chandler: Emma? Emma? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.
Chandler: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's okay, it's okay. I didn't go. Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your uncle Chandler; funny is all I have!
Chandler: I don't do that.
Chandler: I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?
Chandler: Today is the sixth.
Chandler: Yes, it's also 2003.
Chandler: It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.
(She runs to the bathroom, while Chandler starts acting like a chicken in front of Emma. Emma is silent, however.)
Chandler: Tough crib.
Chandler: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: I am not working. There's not much to do around here!
Chandler: Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.
Chandler: I - I don't think I can.
Chandler: Because of Emma.
Chandler: Sorry.
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.
Chandler: Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw" in front of the B-A-B-Y.
Chandler: Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for?
Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler?
(Chandler wakes up and looks a bit confused when he finds that he has a pacifier in his mouth.)
Chandler: Emma was doing it!
Chandler: Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...
Chandler (laughs): Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.
Chandler: I think we may have really done it this time.
Chandler: You may wanna get some more of those too.
Chandler: Where's Emma?
Chandler: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!
Chandler: Okay. (Runs out.)
(Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.)
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Chandler: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.
Chandler: No, no, no.
Chandler: What? Why?
Chandler: Your family name is Tribbiani.
Chandler: ...And boogie!
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Chandler: I like her.
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
Joey: Hello! (Listens.) Oh yeah! (To Chandler) It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. (To the apartment manager.) Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Gunther: (to Chandler) Someone in there?
Phoebe: Wheres Chandler?
[Chandler starts to light a cigarette.]
Chandler: Ginger. Im talking to Ginger, so....
Chandler: (to Gunther) Y'know what Gunther, go ah, go ahead, Im-Im talking to ah, (tries to get her to say her name). (to her) This is the part where you say your name.
Chandler: Nope, nope, Id just ah, Id rather talk to you. (pause) Yes, I do. Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom. (knocks on the door)
Phoebe: Chandler!!
Chandler: Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: You mean a three pointer?
Joey: Is ah, is Chandler around?
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
CHANDLER: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Chandler: Hey, Im going for sushi does anybody want.. (enters and sees the bed) Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the off ramp.
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna have to get you out of those shoes.
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
CHANDLER: Hey, you just wanna forget about raquetball and hang out here?
[Scene: A street, Chandler is kissing Ginger.]
Chandler: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
Monica: No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas.
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading the newspaper.]
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Chandler: Joey told you about the leg, huh?
Chandler: It came up.
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Ginger are eating dinner.]
Chandler: No. No. I dont think so.
Chandler: Thats-thats my nubbin.
Chandler: You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come?
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Chandler: (entering, happily) Well hello!
Chandler: The doctor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang except Chandler is there.]
Chandler: Yeah! You wanna come?
Chandler: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Chandler: Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!!
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
CHANDLER: Huh. [reaches over and grabs the hat and bolts for the door but slips and falls behind the couch]
Chandler: Well ah, ........y'know.
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: What time is it now?
Chandler: Yeah all right, so well hang out.
Chandler: Hey, y'know what, maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there?
Chandler: Yes. Vividly.
Chandler: She was kidding.
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, I mean what, what would we do?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Chandler: Hello-dillillio!!
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no!!
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? Im going down to the Xerox place.
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
(Chandler and Joey stare at each other in shock.)
Chandler: All right, rock on. (Does the Hang 10 sign, then hides his face in shame.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
Chandler: Brenda a bee!
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
[Scene: Outside the bathroom, Chandler is pacing back and fourth, waiting is use it.]
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Chandler: Hey, this isnt like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
[Scene: The rest stop, the gang is still stuck, Chandler is kneeling at the rear bumper.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Chandler: I cant believe she cracked your code!
(Chandler agrees in an absolutely bored way.)
Chandler: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
Chandler: Oh, thats mature.