words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler enter with Chandler covering his eyes and Joey leading him.]
CHANDLER: Alright, alright, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
CHANDLER: Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
CHANDLER: Congratulations!
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
CHANDLER: So uh, which one is mine?
JOEY: Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. [Chandler starts to sit in one of the chairs] Not that one.
CHANDLER: [sits down] Ohh yes.
CHANDLER: [reaches for the footrest lever] Do we dare?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
CHANDLER: Well they were chair-shaped cows. They never would have survived in the wild.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
CHANDLER: I'll cancel the sodas.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are watching a Miracle Wax info-mercial.]
CHANDLER: You got a Cheeto on your face man.[Joey removes the Cheeto and eats it]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: So how'd it go?
CHANDLER: Yeah, but uh, it was 1982 and my flock of seagulls haircut was tickling her chin.
CHANDLER: It's the Miracle Wax.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice.
CHANDLER: Could you get us a couple of beers?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, woah, hey, woah.
CHANDLER: She's one of us now.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Goodnight.
CHANDLER: Well maybe he was nervous.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
Chandler: Well, you have to honest with her! Otherwise you may think that youre going down the same path, but youre really going down different ones.
Chandler: My God! You must be good in bed!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Chandler: And Joey.
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Youre right, this is more fun.
Chandler: Okay. I cant believe tomorrows the big day.
Chandler: That was weird.
Chandler: Thats me.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah right over there.
Stripper: So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler?
Chandler: So shes a
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
Chandler: Oh actually, Id rather you Yeah, go ahead. Were gonna have to burn that room down anyway.
Chandler: That is funny, maybe for my birthday shell murder someone.
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still deciding what to do about the hooker.]
Chandler: Why would she do that?
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Chandler: Why me?!
Chandler: This is the worst bachelor party ever!
Chandler: Well we we still hang out.
Chandler: You do it!
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Chandler: Well yknow, things are different. Im Im married now.
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the gang is helping Ross move out by carrying boxes. Chandler has picked a particularly large and apparently heavy box, because he takes a running start at it and still can't budge it.]
Chandler: Monica! Wait!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
Chandler: (closing the box) Yknow what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
Chandler: (puts on his crown) Carry on.
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Chandler: Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV.
Chandler: I have no idea.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Chandler: Im watching the game, but Im not deaf!
Chandler: Oh come on!
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
Chandler: Good game!
Chandler: Yeah. Solid effort. Solid effort.
Chandler: Treegers snaking the shower drain.
Monica: Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters.
Chandler: (simultaneously) Detroit.
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Monica: (laughs) This is Chandlers chicken. This is the turkey. (Sets down a huge turkey.)
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
MONICA: With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia?
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Chandler: Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how it ends.
Cassie: I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler.
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Chandler: Did she look 16?
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the porn star!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying on a pair of new boots as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Im gonna miss being able to afford food.
Chandler: She had a point. (Shows her the receipt.)
Chandler: I have you.
Chandler: Yeah well, too bad were gonna have to return them.
Chandler: No bunny at all!! Always no bunny at all!!!
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Chandler: Hey-hey.
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I dont think you did a very thorough job!
Chandler: (returning to his seat) Hey!
Chandler: (opening the door) Whats wrong?
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: Oh relax man, relax. Youre looking a little flushed.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Chandler: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Yknow, that party wasnt bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hop on.
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)