words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
CHANDLER: Waaa-aaah.
CHANDLER: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
CHANDLER: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?
CHANDLER: Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?
CHANDLER: Oooh, Rich is goin' to the party too, huh?
[Scene: Joey's co-star's apartment. Chandler and Joey are at the brunch.]
CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.
CHANDLER: Wow, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously.
CHANDLER: [being left behind] Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
CHANDLER: Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
CHANDLER: Well then maybe you should take it.
CHANDLER: Fine with me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Yeah me too.
CHANDLER: Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . .
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
CHANDLER: Lick away my man.
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place?
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
CHANDLER: Well, there you go.
CHANDLER: Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
CHANDLER: Alright I'll tell you what, I'll play you for it.
CHANDLER: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
CHANDLER: Congratulations. [Chandler leaves]
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . [Chandler gives him a look] except when we are here.
CHANDLER: [quietly] Yeah, I remember.
[Everyone except Joey and Chandler leave.]
CHANDLER: So, uhh, em, you want me to uh, give you a hand with the foosball table?
CHANDLER: Thanks.
CHANDLER: Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so.
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Chandler: (panicked) ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Good-good-good-good.
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Chandler: Oh, ok.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Chandler: Do you want me to call?
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Chandler: Oh, are we playing this?!
Chandler: So it did go well.
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Chandler: As crazy as soccer?
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Chandler: I messed up. Okay? Im sorry, I really messed up.
Chandler: No! No! No! I just kissed her.
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Phoebe: Chandler, Chandler.
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
[Chandler proceeds to point out Joeys errors in this forth set of flashbacks. The first flashback is from The One With The Cat. Chandler has just returned home to see that their apartment has been cleaned out and finds Joey trapped in the entertainment center.]
Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Chandler: Janice?
Chandler: Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
Chandler: Janice?!
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. (Sees Chandler.) Well well, look what you brought.
Chandler: ...And what did you bring?
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Chandler: Do you think hell ever forgive me?
Chandler: Cupping.
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Chandler: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.]
Chandler: You didnt see how mad he was, yknow?
Chandler: Yknow what? I-I kinda have.
Chandler: I cant believe I did this! What an idiot!
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
(Chandler does this throat sound.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
Joey: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Chandler: Please tell me you got the message!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is entering to find Chandler waiting patiently for him.]
Chandler: Sorry! I-I-I dont know what to say.
Joey: I cant believe this Chandler!
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Chandler: Yknow, sometimes that fake out thing is just mean!
Chandler: Oh, we could do this all day.
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didnt I?
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: I think so. Yeah, get off me.
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Rachel: Okay, Chandler!
Chandler: Okay.
The Woman: Could you guys help me? (Chandler shyly exhales and looks away.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
(Phoebe winks and licks her lips while eyeing Chandler.)
Chandler: Hey!!
Chandler: (To Monica) Oh, well thank you in advance. (Kisses her.)
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Chandler: Oh thats right. Its your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not Elizabeths dad?!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Are you judging them by their covers? Because youre really not supposed to do that.
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Chandler: (to Ross) Wellll?
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
(Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe enter.)
Chandler: Ross!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Ross: (exhales) I got it. (He lifts the box and grunts under the strain.) (Calmly) So hi, Im uh, Im Ross and this is my friend Chandler. (He shyly waves.)
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Chandler: Yes, we were just