words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible act.]
Chandler: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
Chandler: Off?!!
Chandler: Yeah, well I dont think you can make that statement, unless youve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Chandler: Oh, thats mature.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Chandler: Nothing, nothing.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) Im hungry.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Chandler: (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, were never leaving, ever.
Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
Chandler: Because that would be crazy?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Joey: Whoa-ho-ho! (He looks at Chandler, who gives him a come on look.) Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Lets go.
Chandler: (to Joey) Is that your new walk?
Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.
Chandler: (nervous) My duties? (Trying not to crack a joke) All right.
Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?
Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.
Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.
Chandler: Now this feels like Thanksgiving.
Chandler: Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?
Chandler: Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...
Chandler: Here, here!
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!
Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is pounding out the hinge pins on the closet door to get it open.]
Chandler: Too many jokes... must mock Joey!
Chandler: Aah, y'killing me!
Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
Chandler: Could you not narrate?
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
Chandler: Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with?
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Chandler: Yeah, we played, we watched TV.. that juggling thing is amazing.
Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Monica: Chandlers making his sex face.
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler: I dont have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
Chandler: Kill me. Kill me now.
Chandler: (Imitating) But you found me!
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Chandler: Alright, somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me, it's midnight! Somebody kiss me!
Chandler: I'm sorry you misunderstood...
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing?
Chandler: THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride.
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.
Chandler: I know I am.
[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Chandler: Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen.
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
(Chandler opens the door and startles them. He picks up the paper)
Chandler: What are you guys doing out here?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?!
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?
Chandler: You gotta let me slam the door! (Leaves; slams the door)
Chandler: I'm still mad at you for not telling me.
Chandler: Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
Chandler: What was that?
(Enter Chandler)
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Chandler: That's very funny. We done now?
Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]
Chandler: Really stupid.
Chandler: Yeah. No. No...
Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Chandler: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Nice save.
Chandler: To the bathroom!
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Chandler: Hey.