words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible act.]
Chandler: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
Chandler: Off?!!
Chandler: Yeah, well I dont think you can make that statement, unless youve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Chandler: Oh, thats mature.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Chandler: Nothing, nothing.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) Im hungry.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Chandler: (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, were never leaving, ever.
Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
Chandler: Because that would be crazy?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Joey: Whoa-ho-ho! (He looks at Chandler, who gives him a come on look.) Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Lets go.
Chandler: (to Joey) Is that your new walk?
CHANDLER: Oh, oh, c'mon in.
CHANDLER: Bit country? C'mon in here you roomie.
CHANDLER: Bye.
CHANDLER: Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little...
CHANDLER: So, we gettin' a fish?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
CHANDLER: No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
CHANDLER: Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend.
CHANDLER: There was no fish when she dropped it off.
CHANDLER: Buddy?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
CHANDLER: Could you get us a couple of beers?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
CHANDLER: Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's.
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
CHANDLER: Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
CHANDLER: We're worried about you.
CHANDLER: C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless.
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
CHANDLER: It's gonna be ok. You know that?
CHANDLER: I'm sorry man.
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
CHANDLER: Ok, good night. [walks towards his room] You big freak of nature.
CHANDLER: Why?
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom. Chandler is sleeping and Eddie is there watching him.]
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
CHANDLER: GET OUT NOW!!
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
CHANDLER: I want you out.
CHANDLER: Yes please.
CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?
[Eddie leaves the room and Chandler mouths "Thank you" to himself]
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
CHANDLER: See, that's why we don't let her play.
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
Chandler: See, Im not bad at this fixing up thing, huh?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
CHANDLER: Uhhhaahh.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
CHANDLER: Your last roommate's kidney?
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: Uuuh.
CHANDLER: Why must everybody watch me sleep? There'll be no more watching me sleep, no more watching.
CHANDLER: Uh-huh.
CHANDLER: Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
CHANDLER: This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue.
CHANDLER: You want some help.
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
CHANDLER: [stares in disbeliefe] Yeah o-, OK, alright. [oven timer goes off] Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch.
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
CHANDLER: Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
CHANDLER: Well, how do you find clothes that fit?
Chandler: Op, op, Im convinced!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
CHANDLER: Our next cocktail party?
CHANDLER: So what happened?
CHANDLER: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
CHANDLER: Eddie, do you remember yesterday?
CHANDLER: I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
CHANDLER: Oh sweet Moses.
CHANDLER: Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.
CHANDLER: May I help you?
[Scene: Hallway outside Chandler and Joey's apartment. Eddie walks up.]
CHANDLER: Well, I'm, I'm sorry...[Eddie forces his head in the door] Ahhh. Have we met?
CHANDLER: Well I, I think we'd remember something like that.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
CHANDLER: Absolutely.
CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
CHANDLER: You're not a dad. You're not a dad.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
CHANDLER: Ahhhh-gaaaahhh. Eddie what're you still doin' here?
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
CHANDLER: No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work.
Chandler: Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk?