words in movies
[Scene: Ross' apartment , Chandler and Joey enter]
Chandler: Hey! Ready to go?
Chandler: What are you doin'?
Chandler: Great, a faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless .
Chandler: The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you?
Chandler: Bet she'd sleep with you now...
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Chandler: Maybe we finish this for him! (he sits down on the sofa and he start typing on Ross' computer) "Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had"... aaand SEND!
Joey: (he stops Chandler from posting the message) No, no, no... what do... you can't do that to him!
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
Chandler: Oh, I'm so sorry!
Chandler: You're not gonna need my help?
Chandler: Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth (he goes towards the counter)
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere!
Chandler: I respectfully disagree.
Chandler: Who cares? Nobody reads those things
Chandler: I don't have a page.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Chandler: Oh, you'll see my friend.
[Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross]
Chandler: (faking sympathy) And so young.
Chandler: Well, how you died was funny.
Chandler: It kills over one americans every year.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
Chandler: Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... (looks at laptop screen)..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !
Chandler: There you go! Someone came!
(Chandler and Monica go open the door)
Chandler: (in a mournful voice) Please, come in.
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Chandler: Oh yes, yes... let me... take your coat.
Chandler: At least he died doing what he loved... watching blimps (he goes in the bedroom)
Chandler: Some guy, Tom Gordon.
Chandler: (entering, very upset) Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye bye!! (he shoves him out the door)
Chandler: Ok! (shuts the door behind Tom)
Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something?
(someone knocks on the door) Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
Chandler: Kori? Kori Weston?
Chandler: Wow! You look amazing!
Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all.
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kids pretzel at them.
Monica: (to Chandler) Stick out your tongue.
Joey: Chandler!
Chandler: Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
(Cut to Chandler)
Sister 1: (to Chandler) What cha doing?
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
Chandler: Hey! Well, Ive been preparing for that my entire life! Or something about you thats mean!
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Chandler: I cant remember which sister.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Chandler: Why cant we talk in here? With, with, witnesses.
Chandler: Yep, Im in a tree.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Rachel: Hey. (they all walk away from Chandler)
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
Chandler: Wheres Mary-Angela?
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
Rachel: Chandler! Youre smoking? What are you doing?!
Chandler: Im here to see Mary-Angela.
Chandler: Hey, shut up!! Youre not my real Mom!!
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Chandler: So um, Mary-Angela, whats your second favorite?
Chandler: Will you excuse me I have to um..... (walks to the hall)
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
Chandler: So will I.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Chandler: (startled) Hey!
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Chandler: Oh, this is soo bad. (doesnt see Mary-Angela)
Mary-Angela: (standing behind Chandler) I am!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Chandler: Okay, absolutely!
Chandler: What?! (Cookie punches him)
Joey: (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
Chandler: Dont worry.
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
Chandler: Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
Chandler: Oh no, no, no, no.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]
CHANDLER: No freakshow, she's fictional.
CHANDLER: Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did.
Chandler: What, what, what?!
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Chandler: Bye-bye.
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if youre not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Chandler: Well, lets just say its ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself.
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Chandler: Princess Leia in the gold bikini.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Chandler: Yeah, baby!
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. Do you want some?
Chandler: Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Phoebe: Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert.
Chandler: Oh, hey.
Chandler: (standing up) Im up! Im up, Ive gotten up now! Anybody ah, want anything?
Chandler: Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames.
Chandler: Okay Ross, why dont you come with me?
Chandler: No. He.....hes coming out of his shorts.
Chandler: The man is showing brain.
Chandler: What do we do? What do we do?
Chandler: Roberts coming out.
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....