words in movies
[Scene: Ross' apartment , Chandler and Joey enter]
Chandler: Hey! Ready to go?
Chandler: What are you doin'?
Chandler: Great, a faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless .
Chandler: The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you?
Chandler: Bet she'd sleep with you now...
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Chandler: Maybe we finish this for him! (he sits down on the sofa and he start typing on Ross' computer) "Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had"... aaand SEND!
Joey: (he stops Chandler from posting the message) No, no, no... what do... you can't do that to him!
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
Chandler: Oh, I'm so sorry!
Chandler: You're not gonna need my help?
Chandler: Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth (he goes towards the counter)
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere!
Chandler: I respectfully disagree.
Chandler: Who cares? Nobody reads those things
Chandler: I don't have a page.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Chandler: Oh, you'll see my friend.
[Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross]
Chandler: (faking sympathy) And so young.
Chandler: Well, how you died was funny.
Chandler: It kills over one americans every year.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
Chandler: Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... (looks at laptop screen)..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !
Chandler: There you go! Someone came!
(Chandler and Monica go open the door)
Chandler: (in a mournful voice) Please, come in.
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Chandler: Oh yes, yes... let me... take your coat.
Chandler: At least he died doing what he loved... watching blimps (he goes in the bedroom)
Chandler: Some guy, Tom Gordon.
Chandler: (entering, very upset) Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye bye!! (he shoves him out the door)
Chandler: Ok! (shuts the door behind Tom)
Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something?
(someone knocks on the door) Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
Chandler: Kori? Kori Weston?
Chandler: Wow! You look amazing!
Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all.
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Chandler: But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: So?!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (initially worried, but gets over it) Really?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Chandler: Oh, tell her good luck with that.
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
Chandler: Oh thats so funny because we found someone too.
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Chandler: (To Monica) All yours babe. (Walks away.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Chandler: A face ass?
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Chandler: Our guy smells incredible.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Chandler: Well, you dont look good Joe.
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Chandler: Our new fridge? I dont live here anymore.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Chandler: Just tell her the truth! Tell her youre not ready.
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Monica: Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandlers work!
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Chandler: Are you funny?
Chandler: Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible!
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Chandler: Okay, so you will meet our guys?
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
Chandler: (To Ross) Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say?
Chandler: Well, maybe you dont marry this one.
Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)
Chandler: Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Chandler: Its a sock bunny.
Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: You know the hotels?
All: (Chandler stops her) No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat!
Chandler: (panicked) ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Good-good-good-good.
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Chandler: Oh, ok.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Chandler: Do you want me to call?
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Chandler: Oh, are we playing this?!
Chandler: So it did go well.
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Chandler: As crazy as soccer?
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Chandler: I messed up. Okay? Im sorry, I really messed up.