words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Wouldnt that be Frank the III?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Hey! Do we have a baby name yet?
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: And now youre giving me the message!
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Hi! Hi! Youre crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
Chandler: Raymond Chandler.
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Chandler: Wow, youre, youre right. I have a horrible, horrible name.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Chandler: No, no, youre right, it is a ridiculous name!
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: I have no name.
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Chandler: Its Clint. Its Clint! (He heads for his bedroom.)
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: (pleased) Really?!
Chandler: Okay. Thanks.
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Chandler: Yay!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Bye, Pheebs!
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Chandler: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Chandler: (answering the door) Hey!
Rachel: So-so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom?
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Chandler: Oh yes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they are just finishing up another game of foosball.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Kim and Nancy are out smoking as Chandler sticks his head out the door.]
Chandler: Still broken?
Chandler: Ill teach ya! Come on, come on, its really easy and really, really fun.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Chandler: Cups.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Chandler: Youre kidding right?
Chandler: Well thats a full cup! (Pays him again.)
Chandler: Ho-ho, you win! 50 dollars!
Chandler: You win.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, theyre still playing Cups.]
Chandler: Not 700 exactly?
Chandler: As in Barbara Streisands husband James Brolin?
Chandler: Well you see in Cups, once you get $700, you have to double it.
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Chandler: Double it! (He does.)
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Chandler: Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Holds up a deck of cards.)
Chandler: Bye, momi-moo.
Rachel: But honey, I think shes moving in with Chandler.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Chandler: Whats wrong?
Chandler: Oh man!!
Chandler: All right, lets play one more hand! One more!
Chandler: When did I try to give you money?
Chandler: Im just trying to help you out! Okay? I wanna make sure that youre okay.
Chandler: I cant take the big white dog! You love it!
Chandler: (entering) Hey.
Chandler: Sure!
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Chandler: Exactly.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Chandler: At a fake game!!
Chandler: Its not a real game! I made it up!
Chandler: But we dont do that.
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Chandler: (not amused) And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Ross and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: I didn't nail the boxes to the floor.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
Monica: Oh, so you like her too Chandler?
Chandler: Unbelievable
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Chandler: No-no
Chandler: Now imagine you live at the supermarket.
CHANDLER: Okay, I'll do it!
(Suddenly, the tape cuts away from Joey's impromptu scene, to Chandler standing really, really close to the camera.)
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Chandler: Oh yeah! Okay, lets play again. (He deals out two cards each again.) What do you got?
Chandler: So, uh, wh-where ya from?
Chandler: (pretending) Oh my God! You-almost-gave-me-a-heart-attack.
Chandler: No, really youre gonna freeze.
Chandler: Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild.
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
[Scene, Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.]
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
Chandler: Yeah, now how's that going though? Are you okay with the not-flirting thing?
Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
Chandler: What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning!
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
Chandler: Hey Mon, how's it going?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
Chandler: Oh come on, come on, it can't be that bad.
Chandler: We should start with the big stuff. Yknow? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.)
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: OK well here, we'll just move the coffee table closer to the couch.
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
Chandler: Yeah, Monica doesn't like that either, Maybe I should stop doing that.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.
Chandler: That's not specific to girls.
Chandler: Man, I'm so lucky I have Monica.
Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monicas gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Okay, is this lamp in the same place?
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Chandler: (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
Monica: Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
Ross: I-I had to show Chandler something?
Chandler: Bye! Thank God
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?