words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Wouldnt that be Frank the III?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Hey! Do we have a baby name yet?
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: And now youre giving me the message!
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Hi! Hi! Youre crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
Chandler: Raymond Chandler.
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Chandler: Wow, youre, youre right. I have a horrible, horrible name.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Chandler: No, no, youre right, it is a ridiculous name!
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: I have no name.
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Chandler: Its Clint. Its Clint! (He heads for his bedroom.)
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: (pleased) Really?!
Chandler: Okay. Thanks.
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Chandler: Yay!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Bye, Pheebs!
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Chandler: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: Im coming already!!
(Rachel and Chandler slide into position.)
Chandler: Nice shooting!
Chandler: Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Chandler: OH MY GOD!!!
Chandler: Are you all right?!
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: SoYou got in voluntarily?!
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, You dont have insurance here, so stop calling us.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
Chandler: Oh-no, hes right.
Chandler: Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!
Chandler: Could we be more white trash?
Chandler: Ive got canned goods.
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandlers not here, he always wins at this game.
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Chandler: Well, not at first.
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Chandler: I found a dried up seashores.
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: Oh yeah, I totally agree.
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Chandler: Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Chandler: Althea?! What are you doing?!
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to button up his shirt)
Chandler: Thanks.
Chandler: It just doesnt feel like were breaking up.
Chandler: Im getting dressed.
Chandler: Here we go. Okay, brace yourselves.
Chandler: What is it?
Chandler: When I walk outside naked people throw garbage at me.
Chandler: You are, youre gonna leave me like this?
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Chandler: How little?!
Chandler: Why not?!
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Look, this isnt funny! You get back here right now!
Chandler: Hi! (to Sophie) How are you?
(Chandler gets an idea)
(Rachel goes into talk to Chandler.)
Rachel: Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Chandler: I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!
Chandler: Fine!
Chandler: Never!
Chandler: It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.
Chandler: Inever borrowed your Walkman.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Chandler: About what?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.]
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, I dont think so!
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Chandler: Well, this is much better.
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Chandler: Freedom!
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
PHOEBE: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Chandler: No!
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Chandler: With extra pulp?
Chandler: No!
Chandler: You dont have it.
Chandler: (intrigued) Go on.
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
Rachel: Ohh, not compared to you. (Chandler nods in agreement)
Gerston: Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? (They discover that Chandler is listening) Hey, Chandler.
Chandler: (hello) Hello.
Chandler: (checks his watch) Two hours, that lasted!
Chandler: I think so.
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Chandler, are there.]
Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Im, Im paddling away!
Chandler: Airplane! Airport! Airport '75! Airport '77! Airport '79!
Chandler: Yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesnt say cool anymore.
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?