words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Wouldnt that be Frank the III?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Hey! Do we have a baby name yet?
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: And now youre giving me the message!
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Hi! Hi! Youre crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
Chandler: Raymond Chandler.
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Chandler: Wow, youre, youre right. I have a horrible, horrible name.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Chandler: No, no, youre right, it is a ridiculous name!
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: I have no name.
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Chandler: Its Clint. Its Clint! (He heads for his bedroom.)
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: (pleased) Really?!
Chandler: Okay. Thanks.
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Chandler: Yay!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Bye, Pheebs!
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Chandler: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Chandler: Yeah, just leave me alone for a while. (He goes into his apartment.)
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Chandler: I said, "Geez, relax Monnnnn."
Chandler: It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together.
Monica: No! Chandler and I are moving in together!
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Chandler: Well, why dont you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)
Chandler: (looking down) What gave me away?
Chandler: Wow umm, calm down.
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Chandler: Well, I-I still think youre very-very nice and very pretty
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Chandler: Rach
Chandler: Okay! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last.
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Chandler: Well, Joeys my best friend.
Chandler: Hey-hey!
Chandler: Okay, bye! (Exits.)
Chandler: You just said Of course youre my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though?
Chandler: I am now!
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is packing some books and Joey is watching him.]
Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well, howd she take it?
Chandler: And youre upset because you didnt make your best friend cry?
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Chandler: Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?!
Chandler: Thats laughter.
CHANDLER: Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: We are switching back, right now!
Ross: Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right?
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Chandler: No. No I'm just tired. Y'know, from-from the walk.
Chandler: Yeah, I do.
CHANDLER: Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you.
Phoebe: (to Joey and Chandler) Okay, bye!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Chandler: Not once did we do that.
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Ross: And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, dont ya?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Easy Lenny.
(Chandler busts out laughing and everyone just looks at him.)
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch.]
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Chandler: I figured Id buy those. Pat, Id like to buy a vow. (Laughs)
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing man!
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Who was it?
Chandler: Sure!
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Chandler: So, thats it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Chandler: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Chandler: Oh yeah. First off all, chasing the Churo guy isn't jogging.
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Chandler: Yeah. O-okay.
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh, whats the matter?
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Chandler: Oh hi!
Chandler: Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Thats the way I did it til I was 19.
Chandler: Why dont you open with a joke?
Chandler: All right.
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Chandler: Whos number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Chandler: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Chandler: Thats a hernia.