words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Wouldnt that be Frank the III?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Hey! Do we have a baby name yet?
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: And now youre giving me the message!
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Hi! Hi! Youre crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
Chandler: Raymond Chandler.
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Chandler: Wow, youre, youre right. I have a horrible, horrible name.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Chandler: No, no, youre right, it is a ridiculous name!
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: I have no name.
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Chandler: Its Clint. Its Clint! (He heads for his bedroom.)
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: (pleased) Really?!
Chandler: Okay. Thanks.
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Chandler: Yay!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Bye, Pheebs!
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Chandler: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Chandler: Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.
Chandler: Yeah, all right.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: (enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome!
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Actually, me too.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Chandler: Stupid, useless Canadian money!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
Chandler and Joey: YEAH!!! YES!!!
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! How did you meet her?
CHANDLER: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. (to Ross) I love her.
CHANDLER: We came over as soon as we saw.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
CHANDLER: Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?
Chandler: Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile.
Chandler: (he glares at him for a while) Yes.
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Chandler: Oh, yknow what, that might be okay even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel.
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Chandler: (entering) Hello, children!
Chandler: (to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Rachel: Chandler!
Chandler: Wherever! Ive got like 20!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Chandler: Yknow what, Im gonna uh, play the field just a little more.
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
Chandler: Oh yeah! With who?
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Hey, man!
Chandler: Well, like father, like son.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is there.]
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
Chandler: Ummmmmmmm, no.
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Chandler: Why not?! Id be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to getoh I see.
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
Chandler: Im not Jewish, so
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh, yknow, yknow what Pheebs?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)
Chandler: I did! I absolutely did!
Credits [Scene: Central Perk. Russ enters. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Oh, man. Im sorry, Im so-so sorry.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer?
Chandler: I know! I know!
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Chandler: Im sure youre right, but why?
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey's grandmother are still watching Law & Order.]
Chandler: Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company?
Chandler: Prague?
Chandler: Well, you-you know what I meant.
Chandler: Yeah, but I bet it works.
Chandler, Monica, and Rachel: Great!! Thats great!
Chandler: So what job did you get Joe?
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Chandler: Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? (Sits up) Who said that?
Chandler: Yeah, you-you gotta love the talking.
Chandler: Yes. Right where?
Chandler: No, hes right, Im totally lying.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Ross: Just go for it Chandler.