words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
Chandler: Okay. (He picks the 9 of Spades)
Chandler: Oh yes.
Chandler: (pause) Yes.
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Chandler: Hi there!
Chandler: That.
Chandler: Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?
Chandler: Unwilling to steal from work, interesting.
Chandler: Dude! That's my girlfriend!
Chandler: Weirder than watching his two moms make out? (Monica nods in agreement.)
(As they walk out he motions to Chandler that he is still Ben's godfather.)
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Chandler: Yeah, it is the best.
Chandler: Yeah, or you can do the easy thing and smoke.
Chandler: Yeah, I wanna go to babe.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: Ah sure. What's in 'em?
Chandler: Oh good, because uh we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.
Chandler: Y'know I rued the day once didn't get a whole lot else done.
Joey: What? Chandler! Tell 'em!
Chandler: (shocked) Well I mean, let me get the door first. (Goes and opens the door.) Oh, hi! No one. (Exits.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Okay, there's something different though--Oh my God! You smoked!
Chandler: Yes you did! You look happy and sick; you smoked!
Chandler: I wish I had smoked for my career
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Chandler: I think you smell great! (He sniffs her shoulder.)
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
Chandler: Great job with the cups, Pheebs!
(Chandler starts to follow her into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Awesome!
Monica: Chandler! Everyone--no one's eating my Tuscan finger food 'cause they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones!
Chandler: There are snow cones! (Monica glares at him.) Snow cones! Yuck!
Chandler: Thank you! Thank you! (Runs to the snow cone machine.)
(Everyone stops and looks at Chandler, who's nodding.)
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Kim and Nancy are out smoking as Chandler sticks his head out the door.]
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Chandler: Okay, great.
(Kim exhales and Chandler stares at it longingly.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Chandler: I'll catch you guys later. (Exits.)
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Chandler and Joey: Whoa!!!
Chandler: No!!
Chandler: Okay, well, it's definite, two more weeks of winter.
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Chandler: Whoa-heeeiiiiii-iiiii-ah!! (sees it) Huh.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
CHANDLER: [enters] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Chandler: You're right, I know.
Ross: Chandlers gone again!
Chandler: (joining them) Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's?
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.
Joey: Ross! Ross! If youre going to the airport, could you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? (Chandler nods his head no.)
Chandler: Ohhh-hoo, funny story!
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler.
Chandler: Well sensitive is important, pick him.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Chandler: So, what do you thing the good news is?
Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? Hes not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys thats like a third or fourth date kinda thing.
Chandler: Oh, so youre going with the teacher, huh?
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are sitting on one of the chairs doing a crossword puzzle.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Monica: Wow! Youre a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was youre trip?
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Chandler: (pleased) Really?!
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Chandler: All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it.
Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Chandler: No sir.
[Joey gets out and sprints to the bathroom and Chandler follows with a cigarette in his hands.]
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Chandler: Well, thats not true, he-he smacked you once.
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Chandler: Excuse me, Doug? (no reaction) Hey there sports fan!!
Chandler: No, I ah, I didnt do them.
Chandler: Doug!!
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
Chandler: That's sweet, Joey.
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are playing with the duck and the chick.]
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Chandler: Thank you, sir.
(Chandler and Joey enter with charcoal.)
Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? < Phoebe comes in>
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad?
Chandler: Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, Ill be your boyfriend.
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Bored and bored!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Chandler: Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.
Chandler: Big bullies!!
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Chandler: Where ya going?
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)