words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
Chandler: Oh, is that against the rules?
Chandler: I see.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Chandler: Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Joey: No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!
Chandler: You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred
Chandler: Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.
Chandler: Yeah so, Tuesday?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Thank you.
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Chandler: Hows your room Rach?
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is on the phone as Joey enters.]
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
Chandler: (on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.
Joey: Hey-hey listen (Chandler waves him away.)
Chandler: Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Chandler: No, we only went out once.
Chandler: Not once!
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is having coffee with Dana.]
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
Chandler: The nerve huh?
Chandler: Refill?
Chandler: (entering) Hey.
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Chandler: Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.
Chandler: Uh, Dana Keystone from college.
Chandler: No, that was Dana Caplin.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler is having dinner with Dana.]
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no! Stay! Stay! Because you-you should you-you-you should stay!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Chandler: No-noReally?!
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Chandler: (entering, sees Rachels throw) Ni-hi-ice!
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: So?!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
(Joey and Chandler shoot each other glances)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler enter with Chandler covering his eyes and Joey leading him.]
CHANDLER: Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today.
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Yeah well, I hear the place looks great.
CHANDLER: That's right my friend. It's time for...
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
CHANDLER: But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting between Rachel and Ross.]
CHANDLER: [reaches for the footrest lever] Do we dare?
CHANDLER: But...
RACHEL: Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too.
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
Chandler: Wait a minute, its perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and were in a building thats full of beds!
CHANDLER: So uhh, how's the palace?
CHANDLER: Oh, uhh, actually I uh, have some news.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
Chandler: I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb)...oh, you already got that.
CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.
CHANDLER: Morning.
CHANDLER: See ya. [Eddie leaves]
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: Oh it's uh, over there on the table.
CHANDLER: Oh, ooh.
CHANDLER: No, Eddie likes to keep it over there.
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
Chandler: Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll.
CHANDLER: Oh, I couldn't be happier.
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
CHANDLER: Alright, so what's it about?
CHANDLER: There's another carton right over there.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
CHANDLER: Yeah, but uh, it was 1982 and my flock of seagulls haircut was tickling her chin.
CHANDLER: Hey Eddie, you uh, wanna play some foosball?
CHANDLER: You don't like that show?
Chandler: Hey, you're gonna be fine. You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America. You're gonna make a great dad.
PHOEBE: Chandler.
CHANDLER: God that is good TV.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
CHANDLER: Ah he's a, he's not a big fan of foosball.
Chandler: And was the curse lifted?
CHANDLER: That was so lame.
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
CHANDLER: Well it's not Sean Penn.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.
CHANDLER: Oh.
CHANDLER: Hi.
CHANDLER: Oh, oh, c'mon in.
CHANDLER: Bit country? C'mon in here you roomie.
CHANDLER: Bye.
CHANDLER: Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little...
CHANDLER: So, we gettin' a fish?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
CHANDLER: No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
CHANDLER: Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend.
CHANDLER: There was no fish when she dropped it off.
CHANDLER: Buddy?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
CHANDLER: Could you get us a couple of beers?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
CHANDLER: Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's.
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
CHANDLER: Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
CHANDLER: We're worried about you.
CHANDLER: C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless.
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
CHANDLER: It's gonna be ok. You know that?
CHANDLER: I'm sorry man.
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
CHANDLER: Ok, good night. [walks towards his room] You big freak of nature.
CHANDLER: Why?
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom. Chandler is sleeping and Eddie is there watching him.]
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
CHANDLER: GET OUT NOW!!
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
CHANDLER: I want you out.
CHANDLER: Yes please.
CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?
[Eddie leaves the room and Chandler mouths "Thank you" to himself]
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)