words in movies
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Monica: Oh, I havent had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, Im never gonna have that feeling again am I?
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Chandler: Oh totally! (Holds up his finger.) Pull my finger.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is talking to Chandler.]
Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big
Chandler: Kinda. Theyre really big.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: No. No, see when I first meet somebody its uh its mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Chandler: (hoarsely) Water! Water! Water!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.]
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
Chandler: Then dont leave me!
Chandler: No. No! No! No!
Chandler: Ohhh. Dont go.
Chandler: Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Chandler: No.
Janice: Good-bye Chandler Bing. (walks out with one shoe)
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Chandler: (high pitched) No you know I dont mind.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Ive found.
Chandler and Phoebe: Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh...
Chandler: No, no, no, I dont, I dont really wanna play.
Joey: Great, you can cover Chandler.
Chandler: Yeah, all right, Ill play.
Chandler: No, no, no, you say that proudly.
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
CHANDLER: I'm hangin in. . . and a little out.
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Ross: Sweetie, dont worry youll get picked. Chandler.
Rachel, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you guys really think of Chandler?
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
Chandler: (from the shotgun) Hike!
Chandler: No, no, no, actually losers rhyme.
Chandler: Sorry. Im sorry. Y'know what, were just gonna throw it.
Chandler: Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7.
Chandler: No, no, no, no, no!
(Chandler throws her the ball, which she drops.)
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Margha: Hello, Chandler.
Chandler: Mar-haaaan.
[cut to Chandler, Joey, and Margha.]
Chandler: Well, that went well.
Chandler: Math!! Youre giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, well see who gets her.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Chandler: Yeah, hes really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine.
Chandler: Well now you have two. Hey, I am good at math.
Chandler: Before!!
Chandler: Okay, good.
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
Ross: Chandler! Chandler!
Chandler: (to Margha) Hi.
(Joey throws the ball to Chandler)
Chandler: Is this because of the burrito thing?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Chandler: Fine with me.
Chandler: No ah, hold on a second Joe, where do Dutch people come from?
Chandler: Yes!!
Margha: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler.
Chandler and Joey: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Chandler: Wh-what?
Chandler: Y'know what, it doesnt matter, cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!
Chandler: Were not gonna lose to girls.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: (to bartender) Can I get a beer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
Chandler: Well, you dont you have Captain Hook explain it to her.
[Scene: Monicas, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.]
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Ross: Chandler, I want you to run a post pattern to the left, okay. And sweetie..
Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah?
Chandler: So ah, whatcha watching?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
[Chandler makes a noise of absolute disgust and heads into the living room.]
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
[We see Chandler lighting up a cigarette.]
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Monica: Chandler!!
(Chandler mouths Okay.)
Phoebe: Chandler what are you doing?!
Chandler: (jumps back and points at the cigarette) Oh my God!
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: I spelled out boobies.
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, Im, Im smoking still.
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: So, how many have you sold so far?
Chandler: Me! On my computer.
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Chandler: Look, Im telling you this is just like my parents divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place.
Chandler: Something else I might have said?
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!