words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.
Chandler: Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you!
Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart?
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Chandler: Pie eating contest?
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
(phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom)
Chandler: (hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone)
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
Chandler: (still on the phone)Damnit. Alright call me when you know more.
Chandler: One of the slots got filled.
Chandler: Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it.
Chandler: Yeah I know.
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Rachel, Chandler and Monica: Please, just do it!
Chandler: I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm".
Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.
Chandler: Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win?
Chandler: Ooh! Calm down ...
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds.
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
(Phone rings, Chandler picks up)
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that.
Chandler: He's the boss's son.
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
Chandler: Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago.
Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand!
Monica: Chandler, sense the tone!!
Monica: Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished...
Chandler: (looking at the answering machine) Hey, there's two messages. These could be from work!
Chandler: Ok, here we go! (he pushes the play button)
Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"
Chandler: This is..shhh!
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
Chandler: I got that!
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks?
Chandler: Ok well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow (hangs up).
Chandler: What? (pause) Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter.
Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Chandler: Thanks, man.
Chandler: Really? What?
Chandler: (smiling, surprised) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out.
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Chandler: Me too.
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Chandler: Hey, buddy boy, howd the audition go?
Chandler: I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.
Chandler: (sticking his head in the door) Okay to come in?
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Because you shouldnt be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.
Chandler: Yeah I know, guess who beeped him?
Chandler: Oh yeah.
Chandler: No, there were two.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: I see where youre goin!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
Chandler: (reminiscing) Ah, finally an explanation.
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Chandler: Ahh, ooh, try a hard 8.
Chandler: Hm-hmm. (Goes to take another bite.)
Chandler: Hey-hey, is Monica here?
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Chandler: I made a (Does one of those gibberish words.)
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
Chandler: Nothing!
Chandler: Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Im going crazy! Okay? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade?
Chandler: Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for thisAh-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! Youre the worst best man ever!
Chandler: I cant figure out what to make Monica.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, continued from earlier. Monica and Chandler are still discussing the previous question.]
Chandler: Hey! Hi! You uh, ready to exchange gifts?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Chandler: Okay, come here! Come here.
Chandler: Now, its not wrapped because I just, just finished it.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Not really.
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Bathroom, Chandler and Monica are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.]
Chandler: Oop!
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (approaching) Here you go Joe, heres the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. (Hands it to him.)
Chandler: You have done enough!
Chandler: Who the hell is Carl?!
Chandler: No you dontget it in black, not brown.
Chandler: Well, its like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake.
(Chandler escorts Monica down the aisle.)
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
Chandler: Oh, the mixed tape.
Chandler: Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now.
Chandler: Oh my good God.
Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Chandler: Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!!
Chandler: I am so, so, so, so sorry!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)
Chandler: So, are we going in there?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh my God, Im sorry, Im being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Chandler: I see.
Monica: Gunther, can I get a coffee (Looks at Chandler) to go?
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Chandler: You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred
Joey: No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!
Chandler: Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Thank you.
Chandler: Yeah so, Tuesday?
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
Chandler: But the Kit-Kats are all right?!
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Chandler: Hows your room Rach?
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Chandler: (on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is on the phone as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Hi.
Joey: Hey-hey listen (Chandler waves him away.)