words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.
Chandler: Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you!
Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart?
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Chandler: Pie eating contest?
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
(phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom)
Chandler: (hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone)
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
Chandler: (still on the phone)Damnit. Alright call me when you know more.
Chandler: One of the slots got filled.
Chandler: Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it.
Chandler: Yeah I know.
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Rachel, Chandler and Monica: Please, just do it!
Chandler: I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm".
Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.
Chandler: Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win?
Chandler: Ooh! Calm down ...
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds.
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
(Phone rings, Chandler picks up)
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that.
Chandler: He's the boss's son.
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
Chandler: Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago.
Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand!
Monica: Chandler, sense the tone!!
Monica: Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished...
Chandler: (looking at the answering machine) Hey, there's two messages. These could be from work!
Chandler: Ok, here we go! (he pushes the play button)
Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"
Chandler: This is..shhh!
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
Chandler: I got that!
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks?
Chandler: Ok well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow (hangs up).
Chandler: What? (pause) Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter.
Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Chandler: Thanks, man.
Chandler: Really? What?
Chandler: (smiling, surprised) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out.
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Chandler: Me too.
Chandler: Pregnant Woman Slays Four?
Chandler: Okay. Thanks.
Chandler: Bye, Pheebs!
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Yay!
Chandler: Ha! Ha! Ha!
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Chandler: Your pants!
Chandler: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Chandler: Santa pants. (Phoebe still doesnt get it.) Santa Clauss pants.
Chandler: Yeah we do!
Chandler: Are you serious?
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Chandler: You do know that Wham broke up?
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Chandler: Man, didnt she like just get here?
Chandler: Easy tiger.
Chandler: Where is Emily?
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Chandler: Are you serious?
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Chandler: Because youve only known her for six weeks! Okay, Ive got a carton of milk in my fridge Ive had a longer relationship with!
Chandler: No thank you.
Chandler: Screw the Knicks!
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: All right look, Im changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.
Chandler: Fine, lets do it.
Chandler: Okay, you guys uh, you guys pick first
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
(He looks to Chandler, who doesnt have a clue.)
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Chandler: Thats a low one!
Chandler: Yeah baby!
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
Chandler: No they didnt!
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Chandler: Oh yeah, thats very nice. Plus, yknow they were free and theyre too small.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: I KNOW!!!
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Chandler: Oh. Oh, God! (He starts running around like a chicken with his head cut off.)
Chandler: Open up! Open up! Open up!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Good night.
Chandler: Totally worth it!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Oh, well, thats great!
Chandler: Well, youre gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, were switching it back! Theres nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Oh. Oh, did-did-did I wake you?
Monica: Chandler, thats like your fourth cup of coffee!
Chandler: Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? (Gunther starts to pour him another cup.) So uh, what do you do when youre not working here?
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting another cup of coffee.]
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Chandler: They dont have those.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Chandler: Next time you snore, Im rolling ya over!
Chandler: Hey, all right!
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Chandler: Yknow, whipped! Wah-pah!
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Chandler: Those were like the best seats ever.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Chandler: Its 6:00.
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Nothing.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, well, I dont dance at weddings.
Joey and Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
Chandler: (answering for him) Yes he did.
Chandler: So uh, what are you in for?
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: You mind if I
(Chandler wakes him up, again.)
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm kinda wishing everyone wasn't here right now.
Chandler: What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep.
Chandler: (entering) Hello! Little ones.
Chandler: Well shes, shes the kinda girlJoey was unconscious.