words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.
Chandler: Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you!
Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart?
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Chandler: Pie eating contest?
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
(phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom)
Chandler: (hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone)
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
Chandler: (still on the phone)Damnit. Alright call me when you know more.
Chandler: One of the slots got filled.
Chandler: Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it.
Chandler: Yeah I know.
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Rachel, Chandler and Monica: Please, just do it!
Chandler: I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm".
Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.
Chandler: Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win?
Chandler: Ooh! Calm down ...
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds.
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
(Phone rings, Chandler picks up)
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that.
Chandler: He's the boss's son.
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
Chandler: Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago.
Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand!
Monica: Chandler, sense the tone!!
Monica: Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished...
Chandler: (looking at the answering machine) Hey, there's two messages. These could be from work!
Chandler: Ok, here we go! (he pushes the play button)
Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"
Chandler: This is..shhh!
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
Chandler: I got that!
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks?
Chandler: Ok well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow (hangs up).
Chandler: What? (pause) Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter.
Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Chandler: Thanks, man.
Chandler: Really? What?
Chandler: (smiling, surprised) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out.
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Chandler: Me too.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
[Scene: The waiting room, Chandler is looking for Monica.]
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Fine! Maybe I will too!
Chandler: (spotting her) Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are!
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Hey!
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Chandler: All right. Very good.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: What's up with the simian?
Chandler: Okay, keep saying it!
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Chandler: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Chandler: Really? Okay, so
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
(Dan leaves as Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Right!
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux!
Chandler: Dog grooming huh? Okay, just dont make my tail too poofy.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?
(Chandler is quite pleased with that statement.)
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Monica: (entering) Hi Chandler.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.
Chandler: What's your point?
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Chandler: Y'know that wasn't part of it?
Chandler: All right, let's show them how it's done.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Chandler: Nope.
Chandler: Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything.
Chandler: We wanna hear Monica's Thanksgiving story!
Chandler: Uhh, 9. (He pushes the clock into the sink.)
(Joey enters and Chandler pushes her away.)
Chandler: (quietly) Hi! (They both start kissing.)
Chandler: Okay, I gotta go to work.
Chandler: Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. (He starts for his bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: What's going on?
Phoebe: Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Chandler: Uh, hey!
Chandler: We're flipping Monica's mattress.
Chandler: Aww, man! (They go into Monica's room.)
Chandler: Why are you screaming and hugging?
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Chandler: Condoms?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?