words in movies
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)
Chandler: Is that gal pal spelled L-O-S-E-R?
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Chandler: Nice work my friend.
Chandler: And a bagel with only
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
(Chandler does so.)
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Chandler: All right, ready?
Chandler: Two.
(Chandler turns off the porn and sets the remote down.)
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
(Chandler turns on the TV and )
Chandler: FREE PORN!!!
Chandler: We have free porn here!!!
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
(Chandler tries to jump over the couch but everyone stops him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Chandler: Stick to your side!
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Chandler: Mento?
Chandler: Thanks.
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
[The next one is from Episode 401: The One With The Jellyfish, where Monica, Joey, and Chandler are relating that tragic day they spent on the beach.]
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Chandler: Oh my God, introduce us!
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Chandler: ...And boogie!
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Chandler: I like her.
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
Joey: Hello! (Listens.) Oh yeah! (To Chandler) It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. (To the apartment manager.) Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Gunther: (to Chandler) Someone in there?
Phoebe: Wheres Chandler?
[Chandler starts to light a cigarette.]
Chandler: Ginger. Im talking to Ginger, so....
Chandler: (to Gunther) Y'know what Gunther, go ah, go ahead, Im-Im talking to ah, (tries to get her to say her name). (to her) This is the part where you say your name.
Chandler: Nope, nope, Id just ah, Id rather talk to you. (pause) Yes, I do. Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom. (knocks on the door)
Phoebe: Chandler!!
Chandler: Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: You mean a three pointer?
Joey: Is ah, is Chandler around?
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
CHANDLER: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Chandler: Hey, Im going for sushi does anybody want.. (enters and sees the bed) Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the off ramp.
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna have to get you out of those shoes.
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
CHANDLER: Hey, you just wanna forget about raquetball and hang out here?
[Scene: A street, Chandler is kissing Ginger.]
Chandler: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
Monica: No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas.
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading the newspaper.]
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Chandler: Joey told you about the leg, huh?
Chandler: It came up.
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Ginger are eating dinner.]
Chandler: No. No. I dont think so.
Chandler: Thats-thats my nubbin.
Chandler: You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come?
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Chandler: (entering, happily) Well hello!
Chandler: The doctor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang except Chandler is there.]
Chandler: Yeah! You wanna come?
Chandler: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Chandler: Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!!
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
CHANDLER: Huh. [reaches over and grabs the hat and bolts for the door but slips and falls behind the couch]
Chandler: Well ah, ........y'know.
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: What time is it now?
Chandler: Yeah all right, so well hang out.
Chandler: Hey, y'know what, maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there?
Chandler: Yes. Vividly.
Chandler: She was kidding.
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, I mean what, what would we do?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Chandler: Hello-dillillio!!
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no!!
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? Im going down to the Xerox place.
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
(Chandler and Joey stare at each other in shock.)
Chandler: All right, rock on. (Does the Hang 10 sign, then hides his face in shame.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
Chandler: Brenda a bee!
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
[Scene: Outside the bathroom, Chandler is pacing back and fourth, waiting is use it.]
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Chandler: Hey, this isnt like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
[Scene: The rest stop, the gang is still stuck, Chandler is kneeling at the rear bumper.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Chandler: I cant believe she cracked your code!
(Chandler agrees in an absolutely bored way.)
Chandler: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
Chandler: Oh, thats mature.
Chandler: Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material?