words in movies
Rachel: WellReally? I thought Chandler was your best friend.
Ross: Well, Chandlers my oldest friend, but Joeys myNo! Ah! (points at Rachel)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
Chandler: Yea yea. (Pulls the balloon out of his mouth)
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Chandler: Couldnt sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldnt sleep. Yknow? I was like, if I fall asleep now Ill get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now Ill get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldnt fall asleep.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Chandler: Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.]
(Chandler drifts off and his arm slips off the table and he wakes back up.)
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Chandler: Walter (nods).
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandlers meeting continues.]
Ms. McKenna: Ok if everyones on board, its settled, Chandler, (Walter puts his hand on Chandlers hand, Chandler sleeping puts his hand on top of his, he then wakes up and pulls his hand away) Chandler?
Chandler: Yep.
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. Youre gonna love Oklahoma.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
Chandler: (enters) Hey.
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Chandler: People whove never ever been to Paris.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Chandler: Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes.
Chandler: The Sooner State, whatever that is.
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Chandler: Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top.
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Chandler: (hears Emma crying) What is wrong with Emma?
[Scene: Ms. McKennas Office, Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Chandler: (entering, loudly) Hey!
Chandler: Oh so there cant be any yelling.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Chandler: Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I cant, I cant hear you. (He runs out)
Chandler: (enters) Hey, what you guys talking about?
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
Chandler: All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away!
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Chandler: Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Chandler: Ye-ye-yeah, yes I do!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[Chandler is mega shocked!]
Chandler: Thank you!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
Chandler: Hey Joe whats up?
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?
Chandler: I dont think so.
Chandler: Howdy.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, Im right here.
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Chandler: What? Thats terrible!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Rachel: Chandler, arent you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Chandler: What?
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: If I help, we can find em faster!
Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!
Chandler: Those are my gifts, I got them for you.
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Doug: Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh!
Chandler: Who did you originally want to hook up with?
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Chandler: Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Chandler: Oh, hey guys!
Chandler: All right, y'know what, we've been talking about London too much haven't we?
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Oh great!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay!
Phoebe: Oh, this ones for Chandler. Here.
Chandler: Wait, we cant do this.
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Fine!
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Chandler: So shes just waiting over there for ya?
Chandler: Thats great!
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Chandler: Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding?
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Chandler: You made pottery?
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Chandler: So you kissed her, so what happened after that?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Chandler: Look at us, were a couple of couples!
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Chandler: Yeah all right. (They part.) Okay, good night guys.
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Chandler: (reading it) Elizabeth Hornswoggle?
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Chandler: Oh thats too bad.
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Chandler: Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!
Chandler: So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Chandler, would you like some more orange juice?