words in movies
Rachel: WellReally? I thought Chandler was your best friend.
Ross: Well, Chandlers my oldest friend, but Joeys myNo! Ah! (points at Rachel)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
Chandler: Yea yea. (Pulls the balloon out of his mouth)
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Chandler: Couldnt sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldnt sleep. Yknow? I was like, if I fall asleep now Ill get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now Ill get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldnt fall asleep.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Chandler: Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.]
(Chandler drifts off and his arm slips off the table and he wakes back up.)
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Chandler: Walter (nods).
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandlers meeting continues.]
Ms. McKenna: Ok if everyones on board, its settled, Chandler, (Walter puts his hand on Chandlers hand, Chandler sleeping puts his hand on top of his, he then wakes up and pulls his hand away) Chandler?
Chandler: Yep.
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. Youre gonna love Oklahoma.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
Chandler: (enters) Hey.
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Chandler: People whove never ever been to Paris.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Chandler: Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes.
Chandler: The Sooner State, whatever that is.
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Chandler: Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top.
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Chandler: (hears Emma crying) What is wrong with Emma?
[Scene: Ms. McKennas Office, Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Chandler: (entering, loudly) Hey!
Chandler: Oh so there cant be any yelling.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Chandler: Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I cant, I cant hear you. (He runs out)
Chandler: (enters) Hey, what you guys talking about?
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is lamenting to Chandler and Rachel about his troubles in his new building.]
Chandler: (To Rachel) Sounds like a fun party.
Chandler: Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?!
Rachel: Umm, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head.
Chandler: Okay. It's not different at all, is it?
Chandler: Hmm.
Monica: Couldn't you just stay like this forever? (His eyes snap open.) Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
Chandler: Well, you do want all that stuff, right?
Chandler: Well, I did not know that.
Chandler: By me?
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
Chandler: Monica. (Goes to talk to her.)
Chandler: Just tell me what I need to do to make things right.
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
Chandler: Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever!
(Chandler turns to watch her go and then sees Ross and Joey both with huge grimaces on their faces.)
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Chandler: It's gonna be okay, right? I mean she's not gonna leave me? This is, this is fixable.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Chandler: Wh-wh-why?!
Chandler: Will you marry me?
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
Chandler: I need to talk to you, it's urgent!
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: (getting out a ring box) Monica
Chandler: I'm doing this because I'm sorry?
Monica: Chandler, why are you doing this?
Chandler: I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid to do this.
Chandler: I didn't think I was!
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are entering after the play. Phoebe and Joey are already there.]
Chandler: Okay, how long is this going to go on.
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Chandler: That's not funny.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. (He slowly and awkwardly gets down on one knee.)
Chandler and Monica: Okay.
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Chandler: Absolutely! Yknow, because touchie can mean both ass and good worker.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
CHANDLER: All right, call it in the air.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Yasmein Bleeth running on TV, and the duck starts quacking.]
Monica: See Chandler? Im getting a lot of use out of them already! Theyre very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants
Chandler: He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps.
Chandler: Hi, Joe.
Chandler: Well there you have it!
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Chandler: Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?
Chandler: All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's actually in my bedroom.
Chandler: Yeah, big zero gravity moon steps.
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Okay.
Ross: Come on, Chandler.
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Chandler: Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
Chandler: Okay, I don't think we can turn anymore!
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Chandler: Okay, yeah, I think it's really stuck now.
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
Chandler: Oh, y'know, what did you mean when you said pivot?
Chandler and Rachel: You think?!
Chandler: (stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Ooh, I do! I do! I do!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Chandler and Joey: Nice!
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla!
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Phoebe: Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Phoebe: So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?
Chandler: So what happened?
Chandler: Oh hey, how'd the interview go?
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Rachel: Thanks Chandler.
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Chandler: Well you coulda tried, not kissing him.
Chandler: Come on, Rach.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler makes a noise) No?