words in movies
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."
Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
Chandler: Hey Rach!
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: I have my reasons.
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
(A pause as they look at Chandler.)
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)
Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?
Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...
Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.
Chandler: She answered.
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
Chandler: Hello? Hello?
Chandler: So how's Mindy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Chandler: ...And boogie!
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?
Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: (investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Chandler: Nngghhh!!!!!!!
Danielle: (entering) Chandler?
Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.
Chandler: What are you doing here?
Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: ...I dunno.
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Love what you've done with the place.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Oh yeah!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.
Chandler: I hate this thing!
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Chandler: Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right?
Chandler: You mean this. (Does the maneuver perfectly.)
Chandler: (entering) Hello children!
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Chandler: No-no-no-no!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Chandler: Okay, so he's out of here.
Chandler: Not even on page 7?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Chandler: Let's go quicker.
Chandler: There we go!
Chandler: Yes, it is.
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
Ross: (To Chandler) How about you?
Chandler: Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks.
Chandler: We are bad people.
(She runs off leaving a stunned Chandler behind.)
Chandler: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: About Ross!
Chandler: Yes that was a nice place!
Chandler: Ohhhhh!
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Chandler: Actually, its Miss Chinandolor Bong.
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Rachel: Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)
Chandler: Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Chandler: Are you all right?
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Without my toe?! I need my toe!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: I can't believe this.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Chandler: Look, Monica
Chandler: Nice try.
Chandler: Couldnt sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldnt sleep. Yknow? I was like, if I fall asleep now Ill get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now Ill get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldnt fall asleep.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Chandler: Yeah!
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)
Chandler: Help!
Chandler: Well, yeah actually.
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Chandler: Hi, Pheebs!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Chandler: I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!
Chandler: What is going on here?
Chandler: Yeah.
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Chandler: OhI don't know.
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Chandler: Ross?
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
Chandler: And you're okay with that?
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Chandler: Ehh, you're just liquored up.
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, Ill take care of the rest.