words in movies
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."
Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
Chandler: Hey Rach!
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: I have my reasons.
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
(A pause as they look at Chandler.)
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)
Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?
Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...
Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.
Chandler: She answered.
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
Chandler: Hello? Hello?
Chandler: So how's Mindy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Chandler: ...And boogie!
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?
Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: (investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Chandler: Nngghhh!!!!!!!
Danielle: (entering) Chandler?
Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.
Chandler: What are you doing here?
Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: ...I dunno.
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Chandler: Alright, somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me, it's midnight! Somebody kiss me!
Chandler: I'm sorry you misunderstood...
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing?
Chandler: THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride.
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.
Chandler: I know I am.
[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Chandler: Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen.
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
(Chandler opens the door and startles them. He picks up the paper)
Chandler: What are you guys doing out here?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?!
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?
Chandler: You gotta let me slam the door! (Leaves; slams the door)
Chandler: I'm still mad at you for not telling me.
Chandler: Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
Chandler: What was that?
(Enter Chandler)
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Chandler: That's very funny. We done now?
Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]
Chandler: Really stupid.
Chandler: Yeah. No. No...
Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Chandler: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Nice save.
Chandler: To the bathroom!
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Chandler: ...Dinah?
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, we're done.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Chandler: Mento?
Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table)
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Oh, no-
Chandler: Shall I carve?
Chandler: Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle self-loathing touch.
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Chandler: What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that?
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Chandler: I'm not moving out.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Chandler: Aw, don't do that
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Chandler: More coffee over here, please!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
Chandler: So what are you gonna do?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Chandler: You pick one.
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Chandler: No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are.
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Chandler: I know!
Chandler: I can't believe you did this. (Walks toward the door)
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!