words in movies
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."
Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
Chandler: Hey Rach!
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: I have my reasons.
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
(A pause as they look at Chandler.)
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)
Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?
Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...
Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.
Chandler: She answered.
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
Chandler: Hello? Hello?
Chandler: So how's Mindy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Chandler: ...And boogie!
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?
Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: (investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Chandler: Nngghhh!!!!!!!
Danielle: (entering) Chandler?
Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.
Chandler: What are you doing here?
Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: ...I dunno.
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Chandler: (entering, loudly) Hey!
Chandler: Oh so there cant be any yelling.
Chandler: (enters) Hey, what you guys talking about?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us.
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Chandler: I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Chandler: (Enters) Hey!
Chandler: I've got good news!
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
[SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Hey, you said that without gagging!
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Monica, here's your broom back.
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Chandler: Hey!
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: How far outside?
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chandler: All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if its not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!
Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Chandler: Actually what?
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
Chandler: Of course I will call you. I love you.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler.
Chandler: Awww. (They hug) Bye!
Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss)
Chandler: I know.
Monica: Chandler, we still havent gotten an RSVP from your dad.
Chandler: Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Chandler: What?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they're entering to find boxes strewn about the apartment.]
<Chandler gives a look that says "Yeah!">
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?
Chandler: That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Chandler: DO NOT DISTURB DO NOT DISTURB! Monica: (smiles)
[Scene: Chandler arrives home from work.]
Chandler: Ok honey. that was close.
Monica:: Yes! Chandler Watches Shark Porn!
Chandler: Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)
Chandler: oh it was great.
Chandler: Hi honey I'm home!
[Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.]
CHANDLER: So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
Chandler: no they don't
Chandler: What's going on?
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Chandler: does what always have to be sharks.
Chandler: let ME be a part of this!
Chandler: yeah just some good old fashion girl on girl American action.
[Scene: Central Perk. All except Chandler, plus Emma.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler�s not here.
CHANDLER: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Chandler: I always liked you, Ken. (takes a cigarette)
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Chandler: Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it?
Chandler: No thanks, I�m good.
Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.
Chandler: Pheebs?
Phoebe: (smells at him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.
Chandler: But, those are for you.
Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell � Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Chandler: (smiling a little nervously) Hmm mmmhm..