words in movies
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Im so sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Chandler: I have a job interview I have to get ready for.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, dont ya?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Phoebe: Hey Chandler, why so fancy?
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: What about it?
Chandler: (shocked) What?!
Chandler: Are you serious?!
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are entering.]
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Chandler: An hour.
Chandler: Phoebe!
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Chandler: Oh! (Stands up.)
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: An Office Building, Chandler is on his interview.]
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Chandler: (nervous) My duties? (Trying not to crack a joke) All right.
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: (really try not to laugh) Good to know.
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
Chandler: (relieved) Really?!
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Chandler: Funny: ha-ha or funny: (Mimes blowing his brain out.)
Chandler: Yknow who has a great video camera?
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
CHANDLER: This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna need to see that tape. (They rest of them agree.)
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Chandler: I still dont get it, we didnt do anything wrong.
Chandler: I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment)
Chandler: Well maybe it was all of your questions.
Chandler: (angrily) Was that another question?
(Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.)
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Chandler: Thats the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!
Chandler: Don't judge me, I'm only human!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Chandler: Why is there jelly on your shoe?
Rachel: Yeah! Yeah. Theyre theyre-theyre my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus.
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
Chandler: Again?!
Chandler: Yeah, he thinks thats my name.
Chandler: Hey thats okay. So, where do you want to go?
Chandler: Whats funny about that?
Chandler: Some girl...!?
Chandler: No! That would be so awkward! LookBesides, we work in different departments. Hes on the sixth floor yknow? So he calls me Toby once in a while. Whats the big deal? It could be worse, its not like hes calling me Muriel. (Chandler suddenly freezes into place.)
Chandler: Yeah...!?
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler has replaced Rosita with his chair.]
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Chandler: Shh! It is a family name!
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
Chandler: The Hard Rock Caf�?
Chandler: Hey Bob.
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: If I see him, Ill ask.
Chandler: Yknow what you should do, just toss em in the shedder and claim you never got em.
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Chandler: Jenny! That is so Jenny!
Chandler: Sure, whats up?
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
Chandler: So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! (Slams the framed invitation down onto the table.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Chandler: Hey Bobby.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Chandler: Okay Bob listen uhh, Im the reason you didnt get the job up here.
Chandler: Bob!
Chandler: Well that puts me in a difficult position.
Chandler: But youre not just a soap actor. You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
Rachel: (thinks then gasps) Chandler M. Bing?
Chandler: Why am I hearing cheering?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Bob is ransacking Chandlers office.]
Chandler: Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
Chandler: Youre an actor!
Chandler: Football? Just football?
Chandler: I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!
Chandler: How is that me?
Chandler: When have I ever done that?!
Joey: Yes I did! Im Chandler. (Looks at Chandler) Dude, what happened?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Chandler: Wow! I dont have the worst costume anymore!
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Chandler: Oh! Hi!
Chandler: (To Ross) Marry her.
Chandler: What question?
[Cut to Mona and Ross walking past Chandler.]
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Chandler: (To Monica) You picked Ross?!
Chandler: Theres no question.
Chandler: I cannot believe you didnt pick me.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho.
Chandler: (To Ross) Youre going down.
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Ross: (To Chandler) So, you gettin tired?
Chandler: God, Im exhausted.
Chandler: And dignity.
Chandler: Nope! I can do this all day.
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
Chandler: Youre Spudnik.
Chandler: Fine. (He lets Ross win.) Oh no!
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Chandler: No, I let him winRoss!