words in movies
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Im so sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Chandler: I have a job interview I have to get ready for.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, dont ya?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Phoebe: Hey Chandler, why so fancy?
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: What about it?
Chandler: (shocked) What?!
Chandler: Are you serious?!
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are entering.]
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Chandler: An hour.
Chandler: Phoebe!
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Chandler: Oh! (Stands up.)
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: An Office Building, Chandler is on his interview.]
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Chandler: (nervous) My duties? (Trying not to crack a joke) All right.
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: (really try not to laugh) Good to know.
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
Chandler: (relieved) Really?!
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
Chandler: Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
Chandler: (exhausted) Ok, look! Enough is enough!
(She runs to the bathroom, while Chandler starts acting like a chicken in front of Emma. Emma is silent, however.)
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Chandler: But...
Chandler: No, you didn't.
Chandler: You ok?
Chandler: Because I'm gonna play for ya.
Chandler: What about the obsessive cleaning?
Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this.
Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart.
Chandler: All right Mike, let's get this over with. Sudden death. Whoever wins this point, wins.
Chandler: I don't know.
(Chandler scores and wins the match)
Chandler: And that's... how... it's done!
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
Chandler: That's why!
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Chandler: You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired.
Chandler: (Chandler looking confused) Honey why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around.
Chandler: You're on!
Chandler: Wow!
(Chandler and Monica's)
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
(Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall)
Chandler: Anything?
Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al.
Chandler: You do realise that's your brother?
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over)
Chandler: And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality!
Chandler: You got it!
Chandler: (caresses the wall with his finger) Bye!
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
CHANDLER: No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My god, Rodrigo never gets pinned.
Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: YE-AH!
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Chandler: Enunciate!
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's room. Chandler is packing when Ross knocks on the door and enters...]
Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Chandler: I think.... I think I can see your scalp.
Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!
Chandler: Hey!... aaaaaahhhh!
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Chandler: I'm so glad we've got adjoining rooms!
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Chandler: You go back to work tomorrow night, right?
Chandler: Okay Buckwheat!
Chandler: What are you singing?
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Chandler: Hit yourself in the tooth?
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know youre mad, but I just want to say Im sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Yknow? I mean, yknow how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise?
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Chandler: She's cheating on Joey with Ross!
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
Chandler: You can't move at all?
Chandler: Really? What happened?
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
Chandler: I think you know.
Chandler: This is what I want to do.
(Chandler enters from the bathroom)
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)
Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee.
(Little Chandler is pulling Chandler's sweater, while Leslie is throwing bagels at him.)
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Chandler: You want me to wash my hands first, don't you?
Chandler: I mean, you have a lovely home.
Monica: Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
(Chandler leaves.)
Chandler: You do? That's fantastic!
Chandler: I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too.
Chandler: You know how to use a compass?
Chandler: That's great. (To Monica.) Can I see the book?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: I got nothing.
Chandler: Hey, you must be Owen.
(Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.)
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Chandler: (smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'...