words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Ill give up my ticket.
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler)
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Chandler: Ross.
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He lets the machine answer it.]
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groomNo! Not the groom!!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
Chandler: (gets up) See you later. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: (angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.)
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?!
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, its bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Chandler: Right here! (Clucks like a chicken for some reason.)
Monica: Chandler, please dont think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesnt mean anything, because you know that Im just not ready
Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)
Chandler: Totally.
Chandler: Yeah, its beautiful.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Chandler: Ross?
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
Chandler: And you're okay with that?
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Chandler: Ehh, you're just liquored up.
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, Ill take care of the rest.
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
Chandler: All right, look! Look. I think I can explain this.
Chandler: Well let's .let's see what everybody thinks of that?
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
(Chandler and Joey enter from the vending machines carrying sodas.)
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Chandler: Ohh.
Chandler: You dont think Ive tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.
Chandler: The British are coming?
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Chandler: Yknow, I saw a wine cellar downstairs
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Chandler: Oh-oh, I'm a duck! I go, "Quack, quack!" Im happy all the time!
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: You wanna play?
Chandler: Okay, I'll stop.
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Chandler: Of course!
(Chandler makes it into the bowl.)
Chandler: Yes! Chandler Bing, 7! Chandler Bing, 0.
Chandler: I'm intrigued.
Chandler: Well, so, play for the next 30 minutes and then write until he gets home.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Chandler: Okay!
(Rachel goes into her room and closes the door. Which allows Monica to let Chandler out of her room.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Chandler: (entering from his bedroom) Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
Joey: (To Chandler) I didn't finish my five pages.
Chandler: Well, why can't you do them tomorrow?
Chandler: I paid for those tickets!
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Chandler: When did that happen to you?!
Chandler: Oh my God! Someones killed Square Man!
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Makes an unintelligible taunting sound.)
Chandler: Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.
Chandler: Okay, bye! (To the gang.) Oh my God!!
Chandler: I don't believe they're brother and sister.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: What is up?
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Chandler: No, it was me. I'm sorry. I over reacted.
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Chandler: Could I be more sorry. (Looks at Joey.)
Chandler: This took you all day?!
Chandler: (deadpan, standing next to Monica) We're very happy for you.
Chandler: Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Joey: Chandler.
Chandler: (banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room, or?
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy New Year!
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Chandler: Nice!
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Phoebe: Hornswoggle? (To Chandler) Ooh, this must be killing you.
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: All right. (Takes a copy.)
Chandler: (Answering the phone at work) Hello, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: They have that on the napkins at the club.
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Chandler: Oh come on!! (Storms out.)
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Chandler: Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.
Chandler: Ahh, come on! Yknow whatyknow what, I think Im just gonna go home and call Kathy.