words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are counting the invitations as Chandler exits from the bathroom.]
Monica: Chandler, we still havent gotten an RSVP from your dad.
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Monica: Chandler! Hes your father; he should be at the wedding.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Chandler: Trust me, you dont want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
Chandler: Whats this?
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Chandler: Yknow we already went over this and I won!
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Chandler: He had sex with Mr. Girabaldi!
Chandler: Does it matter?!
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Chandler: Yeah o-okay, but Im just doing this for you.
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Chandler: Yeah, I just ordered a beer! (Pounds the table.)
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Chandler: And theres daddy!
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Chandler: Thats Mr. Girabaldi playing the piano.
Chandler: Hes coming into the audience. Hes coming into the audience.
Monica: Relax! Youll be fine. (Chandler exhales and turns off the table light.) Oh much better. Youre invisible now.
Chandler: It cant happen like this. Okay? Ill meet you back at the hotel.
Helena: (to Chandlers back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
Chandler: (resigning himself to his fate) Chandler. (He quickly sits down.)
Helena: Chandler? What an unusual name! You mustve had terribly fascinating parents.
Chandler: Oh, theyre a hoot.
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In in two weeks.
Chandler: Wait! Wait! Wed really love it if you could be there.
Chandler: I know it would make me happy, maam.
Monica: (To Chandler) You okay?
Chandler: Yeah. Thanks for making me do this.
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
JOEY: (spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa.� Wait a minute.� Wait a minute.� If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
CHANDLER: What?
(Monica goes to the door.� Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)
CHANDLER: Really?� You're gonna be okay?
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
CHANDLER: Okay, bye.
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
MONICA: (taps chandler on the arm) You can go.
CHANDLER: You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
(Chandler heads toward the stairs, but makes a turn back to his apartment while looking at the ticket.)
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can�t remember why. (to everyone:) You�re not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Chandler: So, who does?
Chandler: (coming from the bedroom) Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa.
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't be here.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Chandler: Haha, no thanks!
Chandler: Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Chandler: What? That's terrible!
Chandler: No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Phoebe: Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Chandler: If I help, we can find 'em faster!
Chandler: OK, Pheebs, your turn.
Chandler: (entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And last but not least.
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is eating breakfast, Joey quietly opens his bedroom door.]
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: Why?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Santa? Really?
Chandler: Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Chandler: Ah. Thanks.
Chandler: Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?
Chandler: Did I not tell *anyone* about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.
Chandler: I sent them home.
Chandler: Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing.
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Chandler: Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.
Chandler: Uhh, uh...
Chandler: I don't know!
Chandler: Well, she... she didn't win...
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Chandler: Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Chandler: I'm serious!
Chandler: (hanging up the phone) The wife says "Hi!".
Chandler: Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Chandler: Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Chandler: Right. So, I'm sorry...
Chandler: I'm *happily* married.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
(Chandler starts to think about it...)
Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!
Chandler: But we don't do that.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Two!
Chandler: Yep!
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Chandler: Count of three?
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Chandler: Eh! (They start making out again)
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Really? Okay, so...
Chandler: Right!