words in movies
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: Do we have to?
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Chandler: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Chandler: Yes.
Chandler: It's a great idea. (They kiss)
Chandler: Y'know Pheebs, it's kinda our (His and Monica's) anniversary.
Chandler: (coughing) Art lover!
Chandler: I said art lover.
Chandler: I don't know, I'm very tired.
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Chandler: So it's pretty much the same Pheebs.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess it's a little better now.
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Chandler: Can I give you a present now?
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Chandler: How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out?
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Chandler: What-what Richard thing?
Chandler: What Richard thing?
Chandler: (talking out of the side of his mouth) I'm not mad.
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah, so you-you bumped into Richard! You grabbed a bite! It's no big deal. (He still ain't happy.)
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Chandler: Why?! What happened?!
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Chandler: When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it!
Chandler: Thanks. (They hug.)
Chandler: (pushing her away from another hug) Next time?
Chandler: There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again!
Chandler: That's so funny, because I think I just did!
Chandler: Fine with me!
Chandler: What are you talking
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Chandler: Whoa!
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Chandler: Good luck!
Joey: Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through!
Chandler: I see.
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Chandler: (totally confused) What?
Chandler: What's an identical hand twin?
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Chandler: Are you sure you weren't (pause) looking at your hands in a mirror?
Chandler: (totally confused) How?
Chandler: Again I must go back to, how?
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Chandler: No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea!
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
Chandler: No!
Chandler: That was Joey!
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Okay. (He gets up and goes to find her.)
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
Monica: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Chandler: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
Chandler: Okay, ah umm, ah, a 8. Ah, a 6?
Chandler: 8. 8!
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Monica: (To Chandler) We're not really gonna buy these people steak dinners are we?
Chandler: Noo!
Chandler: Ahh, ooh, try a hard 8.
Chandler: Two fours.
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
Chandler: Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! (Everyone cheers) Wait-wait-wait-wait! We (motions to Monica and him.) get the biggest suite in the place.
Chandler: (sees the roll) Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about!
Chandler: Another hard 8.
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: Yes! I love you! I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Chandler: Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right!
Chandler: (spots one) Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one?
Monica: Nobody move! (To Chandler) Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way!
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Chandler: It's a four.
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: I don't think so.
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Chandler: Hello! One marriage please!
Chandler and Monica: All right.
Chandler: (singing) Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Chandler: Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Chandler: No, hes right, Im totally lying.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Ross: Just go for it Chandler.
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Chandler: All right, all right, Ill go sleep with my girlfriend. But Im just doing it for you guys.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
Chandler: Hi.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: (to Chandler) So, did you do it?
Chandler: Yes, yes, we had the sex.
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?!
Chandler: (Points to one) Thats one?
Chandler: Well you might if it were anything like 7!
Chandler: That-thats bad?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, sure, its not mine anyway. It can with the pants.
Chandler: Well believe it baby!
Rachel: Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. (Chandler eyes her and her toes.)
Chandler: I knew it!
Chandler: Cool, girl roommate.
(Chandler screams a little bit, then realises that he can spit out his gag. He does so with a Pouff!)
(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are standing around in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Chandler: I know!!
Chandler: Wow! She looks great. Doesnt she?
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Chandler: I cant believe we live here!
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Chandler: Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something.
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Chandler: Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.
Chandler: All right, look, look, what am I gonna do?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Chandler: Ill make something up! Im good at lying, I actually did borrow your Walkman!
Chandler: Really?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: So uh, man, are you gonna go to the play with me tonight?
Chandler: Yeah, I know but
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Chandler is putting something away under the sink.]
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
(Chandler laughs without opening his mouth.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
Ross: Oh, absolutely! (Chandler mumbles something.)
Chandler: Yknow, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know youre up there every night, youre naked, touching, kissing.
Chandler: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: 98. 99. 100. Okay, go!
Chandler: Well, you can understand, given how we started.
Chandler: Bad dream?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler & Nina are locked in a passionate embrace. Someone knocks, so they hurriedly separate to stare out of the window. Chandlers boss opens the door.]
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Chandler: Honey, you did call him back. 'Cause, it's, it's really old.
Ross: Chandler!
Chandler: Yes! See you and I have always been like(motions that they think the same.)
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and were about to cross the street. Very good.
Chandler: Here we go! Here we go!
Chandler: All right, maybe I should call her.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, well, dont expect that to happen anytime soon!
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
Chandler: Well y'know, what if she didnt actually sleep with the guy?
Chandler: Well, yeah, but y'know, what-what if I was wrong?
Chandler: Did she call?
Chandler: Oh my God!!
Chandler: You're kidding, no!
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Chandler: Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
Chandler: Well, she wasnt sleeping with him.
Chandler: She is now.
(Chandler returns.)
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
Chandler: Why dont you use ours across the hall, cause she has problems.
Chandler: Oh, nononowaitwaitwaitnono! Uh... we may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling... mileu.
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Chandler: Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Chandler: (opening the bathroom door and kicking out the chick and duck) Would you give me one minute!! Please.
(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.