words in movies
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Chandler: All right buddy, way to go! (smacks him on the butt)
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Monica: (to Chandler) Anything but stew.
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Chandler: Well, thats not true, he-he smacked you once.
Chandler: No sir.
Chandler: (joining them) Hey! Which ones my turkey burger?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Chandler: Excuse me, Doug? (no reaction) Hey there sports fan!!
Chandler: No, I ah, I didnt do them.
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
Chandler: Doug!!
Chandler: Im a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself.
Chandler: No, no. It-its not about the swearing, its more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock.
Chandler: Oh, and dont get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. Its just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, its making all the other guys jealous.
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
Doug: Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh!
Chandler: Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head)
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Chandler: Thank you, sir.
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
Chandler: Ye-ye-yeah, yes I do!
Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
JOEY: (spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa.� Wait a minute.� Wait a minute.� If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
CHANDLER: What?
(Monica goes to the door.� Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)
CHANDLER: Really?� You're gonna be okay?
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
CHANDLER: Okay, bye.
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
MONICA: (taps chandler on the arm) You can go.
CHANDLER: You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
(Chandler heads toward the stairs, but makes a turn back to his apartment while looking at the ticket.)
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can�t remember why. (to everyone:) You�re not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Chandler: So, who does?
Chandler: (coming from the bedroom) Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa.
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't be here.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Chandler: Haha, no thanks!
Chandler: Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Chandler: What? That's terrible!
Chandler: No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Phoebe: Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Chandler: If I help, we can find 'em faster!
Chandler: OK, Pheebs, your turn.
Chandler: (entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And last but not least.
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is eating breakfast, Joey quietly opens his bedroom door.]
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: Why?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Santa? Really?
Chandler: Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Chandler: Ah. Thanks.
Chandler: Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?
Chandler: Did I not tell *anyone* about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.
Chandler: I sent them home.
Chandler: Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing.
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Chandler: Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.
Chandler: Uhh, uh...
Chandler: I don't know!
Chandler: Well, she... she didn't win...
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Chandler: Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Chandler: I'm serious!
Chandler: (hanging up the phone) The wife says "Hi!".
Chandler: Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Chandler: Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Chandler: Right. So, I'm sorry...
Chandler: I'm *happily* married.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
(Chandler starts to think about it...)
Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!
Chandler: But we don't do that.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Two!
Chandler: Yep!
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Chandler: Count of three?
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Chandler: Eh! (They start making out again)
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Really? Okay, so...
Chandler: Right!