words in movies
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Chandler: All right buddy, way to go! (smacks him on the butt)
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Monica: (to Chandler) Anything but stew.
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Chandler: Well, thats not true, he-he smacked you once.
Chandler: No sir.
Chandler: (joining them) Hey! Which ones my turkey burger?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Chandler: Excuse me, Doug? (no reaction) Hey there sports fan!!
Chandler: No, I ah, I didnt do them.
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
Chandler: Doug!!
Chandler: Im a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself.
Chandler: No, no. It-its not about the swearing, its more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock.
Chandler: Oh, and dont get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. Its just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, its making all the other guys jealous.
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
Doug: Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh!
Chandler: Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head)
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Chandler: Thank you, sir.
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
Chandler: Ye-ye-yeah, yes I do!
Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Chandler: And?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
Chandler: So what does this mean?
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Chandler: Nina? Nina. (He goes around his desk to where she is sitting.) Nina. (In pain) Nina.
Chandler: (Suddenly bright) Would you like to have dinner sometime?
Chandler: Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights.
[Scene: A Janitorial Closet, Monica and Chandler are emerging slowly.]
Chandler: Im just trying to find the right moment, you know?
Rachel and Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Chandler: You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more.
Chandler: Pirates again?
Chandler: OK, is there a mute button on this woman?
Chandler: When we were?
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. (Gets up to leave.)
Chandler: Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir.
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
Chandler: Sure, why not?
Chandler: Ah, sure, Nina. Whats up?
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
Chandler: Knit, good woman, knit, knit!
Chandler: Helen drinks. (Insincerely) Will you marry me?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is working as Nina knocks, then opens the door.]
Chandler: Well, I ended up telling her everything.
Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
(Another man, an older man, enters, looking around and bumps into Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
(Thinking quickly, Chandler desperately tries to remember anything to do with schizophrenia....)
Chandler: Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.
Chandler: Can you hear that?
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
RACHEL: Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: There it is! So what're you gonna do?
Chandler: Well, only if you order stuff.
(Nina puts her hands on her hips, then gives Chandler a quizzical look.)
Chandler: And your friend Phoebe?
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Chandler: Alright, what have we learned so far?
Chandler: Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, but I slept funny, and my hair was very very –
Chandler: Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it.
Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.
Chandler: And monkeys cant write out prescriptions.
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And (he imitates the buzzer) to you too, Helen.
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Chandler: Ah!
Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Bye bye.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: You know, you think I would.
Chandler: (answering it) Yes?
Chandler: Okay... (returning to the board) ..whose turn is it?
Chandler: Ooh. (leans against the desk)
Chandler: I say we go with Careless Whisper.
[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Chandler: (swallowing hard) Well that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion.
Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
Chandler and Ross: Hey.
Chandler: Could you want her more?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Chandler: We're notwe're not saying anything.
Chandler: And then he did.
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
Chandler: OK Phoebs, how many do you want?
Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?
Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer...
Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary?
Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father.
Phoebe: Chandler?
Chandler: Couldn't be more out. (throws in cards)
Chandler: Y'know, I've had dates like this.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Chandler: Call.