words in movies
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
Chandler: Oh uh-uh, no-no-no-no-uh-uh. (He starts laughing, causing everyone else to laugh.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Chandler: Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monicas.)
(Suddenly the door flies open and in walks Chandler!!)
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Chandler: You see, I dont say(Starts laughing.)
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
(Matt mimics Chandler.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
[Scene: The waiting room, Chandler is looking for Monica.]
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Fine! Maybe I will too!
Chandler: (spotting her) Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are!
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Hey!
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Chandler: All right. Very good.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: What's up with the simian?
Chandler: Okay, keep saying it!
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Chandler: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Chandler: Really? Okay, so
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
(Dan leaves as Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Right!
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux!
Chandler: Dog grooming huh? Okay, just dont make my tail too poofy.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?
(Chandler is quite pleased with that statement.)
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Monica: (entering) Hi Chandler.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.
Chandler: What's your point?
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Chandler: Y'know that wasn't part of it?
Chandler: All right, let's show them how it's done.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Chandler: Nope.
Chandler: Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything.
Chandler: We wanna hear Monica's Thanksgiving story!
Chandler: Uhh, 9. (He pushes the clock into the sink.)
(Joey enters and Chandler pushes her away.)
Chandler: (quietly) Hi! (They both start kissing.)
Chandler: Okay, I gotta go to work.
Chandler: Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. (He starts for his bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: What's going on?
Phoebe: Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Chandler: Uh, hey!
Chandler: We're flipping Monica's mattress.
Chandler: Aww, man! (They go into Monica's room.)
Chandler: Why are you screaming and hugging?
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Chandler: Condoms?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?