words in movies
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
Chandler: Oh uh-uh, no-no-no-no-uh-uh. (He starts laughing, causing everyone else to laugh.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Chandler: Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monicas.)
(Suddenly the door flies open and in walks Chandler!!)
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Chandler: You see, I dont say(Starts laughing.)
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
(Matt mimics Chandler.)
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is lamenting to Chandler and Rachel about his troubles in his new building.]
Chandler: (To Rachel) Sounds like a fun party.
Chandler: Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?!
Rachel: Umm, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head.
Chandler: Okay. It's not different at all, is it?
Chandler: Hmm.
Monica: Couldn't you just stay like this forever? (His eyes snap open.) Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
Chandler: Well, you do want all that stuff, right?
Chandler: Well, I did not know that.
Chandler: By me?
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
Chandler: Monica. (Goes to talk to her.)
Chandler: Just tell me what I need to do to make things right.
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
Chandler: Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever!
(Chandler turns to watch her go and then sees Ross and Joey both with huge grimaces on their faces.)
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Chandler: It's gonna be okay, right? I mean she's not gonna leave me? This is, this is fixable.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Chandler: Wh-wh-why?!
Chandler: Will you marry me?
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
Chandler: I need to talk to you, it's urgent!
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: (getting out a ring box) Monica
Chandler: I'm doing this because I'm sorry?
Monica: Chandler, why are you doing this?
Chandler: I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid to do this.
Chandler: I didn't think I was!
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are entering after the play. Phoebe and Joey are already there.]
Chandler: Okay, how long is this going to go on.
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Chandler: That's not funny.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. (He slowly and awkwardly gets down on one knee.)
Chandler and Monica: Okay.
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Chandler: Absolutely! Yknow, because touchie can mean both ass and good worker.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
CHANDLER: All right, call it in the air.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Yasmein Bleeth running on TV, and the duck starts quacking.]
Monica: See Chandler? Im getting a lot of use out of them already! Theyre very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants
Chandler: He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps.
Chandler: Hi, Joe.
Chandler: Well there you have it!
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Chandler: Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?
Chandler: All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's actually in my bedroom.
Chandler: Yeah, big zero gravity moon steps.
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Okay.
Ross: Come on, Chandler.
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Chandler: Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
Chandler: Okay, I don't think we can turn anymore!
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Chandler: Okay, yeah, I think it's really stuck now.
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
Chandler: Oh, y'know, what did you mean when you said pivot?
Chandler and Rachel: You think?!
Chandler: (stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Ooh, I do! I do! I do!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Chandler and Joey: Nice!
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla!
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Phoebe: Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Phoebe: So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?
Chandler: So what happened?
Chandler: Oh hey, how'd the interview go?
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Rachel: Thanks Chandler.
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Chandler: Well you coulda tried, not kissing him.
Chandler: Come on, Rach.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler makes a noise) No?