words in movies
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
Chandler: Oh uh-uh, no-no-no-no-uh-uh. (He starts laughing, causing everyone else to laugh.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Chandler: Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monicas.)
(Suddenly the door flies open and in walks Chandler!!)
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Chandler: You see, I dont say(Starts laughing.)
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
(Matt mimics Chandler.)
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
CHANDLER: [sits down] Ohh yes.
CHANDLER: Congratulations!
CHANDLER: So uh, which one is mine?
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret.
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
(Chandler kicks the door closed, angrily. His clothes are askew, he looks beat.)
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
CHANDLER: I'll cancel the sodas.
Chandler: Oh, Im taking my ex-girlfriend of my speed dialer.
CHANDLER: So how'd it go?
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: It's the Miracle Wax.
CHANDLER: Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice.
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
CHANDLER: Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?
CHANDLER: She's one of us now.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Goodnight.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, woah, hey, woah.
CHANDLER: Well maybe he was nervous.
CHANDLER: Hey. Hold on a second. [shoots a goal] Huh?
CHANDLER: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi, taxi!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
CHANDLER: That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is sitting at the couches, Chandler enters.]
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
CHANDLER: Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?
CHANDLER: Waaa-aaah.
CHANDLER: Oooh, Rich is goin' to the party too, huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.
Chandler: (to Joey) Noo!! I dont care! Im not, Im not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice!
CHANDLER: Wow, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously.
Chandler: Ho-ho, so hard we had to throw out your underwear again?
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Chandler: The abridgment.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
CHANDLER: Chandler. [waves his arm around, exposing the bracelet]
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
CHANDLER: Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.
CHANDLER: Well then maybe you should take it.
CHANDLER: Fine with me.
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
CHANDLER: Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . .
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Yeah me too.
CHANDLER: Lick away my man.
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place?
CHANDLER: Well, there you go.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
CHANDLER: Congratulations. [Chandler leaves]
CHANDLER: Thanks.
CHANDLER: Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so.
CHANDLER: [quietly] Yeah, I remember.
CHANDLER: So, uhh, em, you want me to uh, give you a hand with the foosball table?
[Everyone except Joey and Chandler leave.]
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
Chandler: (peeping) They're out there!
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat]
(Joey and Chandler shoot each other glances)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler enter with Chandler covering his eyes and Joey leading him.]
CHANDLER: Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today.
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Yeah well, I hear the place looks great.
CHANDLER: That's right my friend. It's time for...
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
CHANDLER: But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting between Rachel and Ross.]
CHANDLER: [reaches for the footrest lever] Do we dare?
CHANDLER: But...
RACHEL: Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too.
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
Chandler: Wait a minute, its perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and were in a building thats full of beds!
CHANDLER: So uhh, how's the palace?
CHANDLER: Oh, uhh, actually I uh, have some news.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]