words in movies
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
Chandler: Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, Ill be your boyfriend.
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
Chandler: Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material?
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
(Ross shoots Joey a look, who shoots Chandler a look, who gives Joey an Oh my God. look back.)
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Chandler: Big bullies!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Bored and bored!
Chandler: Yes!
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Chandler: Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Chandler: So, you still dont think Im boyfriend material?
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Chandler: Where ya going?
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
Chandler: (to Joey) Noo!! I dont care! Im not, Im not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice!
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Chandler: Ahhhh! (Steps away from her.)
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
(Chandler and Monica are stunned again.)
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: We actually missed it.
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.
Chandler: Hi!
(Chandler and Monica enter.)
Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you.
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
[Chandler and Phoebe feign ignorance.]
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: (returning with Joey) Hi.
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Chandler: (not quite sure) You did.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Chandler: I dont know. But I-I-I know I love you!
Chandler: Sounds great.
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, yes eight.
Chandler: Ready!
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) Were doing the right thing, right?
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Chandler: Well you did pull his hair.
Chandler: Im not getting into this again!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right!
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Chandler: Or we can do the actual telephone thing.
CHANDLER: Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)
[Scene: The hallway, Chandler is helping Monica to the door.]
Chandler: I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs)
Chandler: Me too!
Chandler: No!
Rachel: All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful. (Exits.)
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Chandler: Okay!!!!!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Oh thanks.
Chandler: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I cant get in!
Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Chandler: I love you!
Chandler: Yeah-yeah, me neither.
Chandler: This is not a sign!
Chandler: Its an old key!
Chandler: Oh well, we dont because we got the other pl-place.
Chandler: The keys stuck in the lock.
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesnt work.
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Chandler: Yeah, just leave me alone for a while. (He goes into his apartment.)
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Chandler: I said, "Geez, relax Monnnnn."
Chandler: It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together.
Monica: No! Chandler and I are moving in together!
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Chandler: Well, why dont you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)
Chandler: (looking down) What gave me away?
Chandler: Wow umm, calm down.
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Chandler: Well, I-I still think youre very-very nice and very pretty
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Chandler: Rach
Chandler: Okay! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last.
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Chandler: Well, Joeys my best friend.
Chandler: Hey-hey!
Chandler: Okay, bye! (Exits.)
Chandler: You just said Of course youre my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though?