words in movies
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
Chandler: Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, Ill be your boyfriend.
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
Chandler: Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material?
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
(Ross shoots Joey a look, who shoots Chandler a look, who gives Joey an Oh my God. look back.)
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Chandler: Big bullies!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Bored and bored!
Chandler: Yes!
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Chandler: Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Chandler: So, you still dont think Im boyfriend material?
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Chandler: Where ya going?
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
Chandler: (to Joey) Noo!! I dont care! Im not, Im not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice!
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Chandler: Ahhhh! (Steps away from her.)
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Chandler: Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Chandler: Oh! Oh! That's so hard. (Starts to juggle the ball, but loses control and almost drops it and hands it to Monica.)
Chandler: Here you go. (Hands her the money.) Now stop bringing us pizzas you.
Chandler: That's a good idea. I wonder where I could (Pause) get a basket of porn
Chandler: Awesome!
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
[Cut to Chandler]
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: I'm not a dropper!
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Okay.
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
Chandler: Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow!
Chandler: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Chandler: Do we have to?
Chandler: Yes.
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Chandler: (after they've left) Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!!
Chandler: It's a great idea. (They kiss)
Chandler: Y'know Pheebs, it's kinda our (His and Monica's) anniversary.
Chandler: I don't know, I'm very tired.
Chandler: I said art lover.
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Chandler: So it's pretty much the same Pheebs.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess it's a little better now.
Chandler: Can I give you a present now?
Chandler: What-what Richard thing?
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Chandler: What Richard thing?
Chandler: How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out?
Chandler: (talking out of the side of his mouth) I'm not mad.
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah, so you-you bumped into Richard! You grabbed a bite! It's no big deal. (He still ain't happy.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Why?! What happened?!
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Chandler: Thanks. (They hug.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Chandler: Fine with me!
Chandler: What are you talking
Chandler: That's so funny, because I think I just did!
Chandler: In the game room!
[Scene: Guru Sajs office: Joey and Chandler have taken the duck to see the guru.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: And you're gonna make them all disappear.
Chandler: Whoa!
Chandler: I see.
Chandler: Good luck!
Joey: Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through!
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Chandler: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!
Chandler: (totally confused) What?
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Chandler: What's an identical hand twin?
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Chandler: (totally confused) How?
Chandler: How can he do that? Didn't you sign a lease?
Chandler: Again I must go back to, how?
Chandler: Are you sure you weren't (pause) looking at your hands in a mirror?
Chandler: That was Joey!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?
Chandler: Okay. (He gets up and goes to find her.)
Joey: (to Chandler) The Irish gig guy?!