words in movies
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
Chandler: Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, Ill be your boyfriend.
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
Chandler: Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material?
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
(Ross shoots Joey a look, who shoots Chandler a look, who gives Joey an Oh my God. look back.)
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Chandler: Big bullies!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Bored and bored!
Chandler: Yes!
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Chandler: Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Chandler: So, you still dont think Im boyfriend material?
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Chandler: Where ya going?
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
Chandler: (to Joey) Noo!! I dont care! Im not, Im not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice!
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Chandler: Ahhhh! (Steps away from her.)
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Chandler: (answering the door) Hey!
Rachel: So-so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom?
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Chandler: Oh yes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they are just finishing up another game of foosball.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Kim and Nancy are out smoking as Chandler sticks his head out the door.]
Chandler: Still broken?
Chandler: Ill teach ya! Come on, come on, its really easy and really, really fun.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Chandler: Cups.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Chandler: Youre kidding right?
Chandler: Well thats a full cup! (Pays him again.)
Chandler: Ho-ho, you win! 50 dollars!
Chandler: You win.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, theyre still playing Cups.]
Chandler: Not 700 exactly?
Chandler: As in Barbara Streisands husband James Brolin?
Chandler: Well you see in Cups, once you get $700, you have to double it.
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Chandler: Double it! (He does.)
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Chandler: Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Holds up a deck of cards.)
Chandler: Bye, momi-moo.
Rachel: But honey, I think shes moving in with Chandler.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Chandler: Whats wrong?
Chandler: Oh man!!
Chandler: All right, lets play one more hand! One more!
Chandler: When did I try to give you money?
Chandler: Im just trying to help you out! Okay? I wanna make sure that youre okay.
Chandler: I cant take the big white dog! You love it!
Chandler: (entering) Hey.
Chandler: Sure!
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Chandler: Exactly.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Chandler: At a fake game!!
Chandler: Its not a real game! I made it up!
Chandler: But we dont do that.
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Chandler: (not amused) And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Ross and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: I didn't nail the boxes to the floor.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
Monica: Oh, so you like her too Chandler?
Chandler: Unbelievable
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Chandler: No-no
Chandler: Now imagine you live at the supermarket.
CHANDLER: Okay, I'll do it!
(Suddenly, the tape cuts away from Joey's impromptu scene, to Chandler standing really, really close to the camera.)
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Chandler: Oh yeah! Okay, lets play again. (He deals out two cards each again.) What do you got?
Chandler: So, uh, wh-where ya from?
Chandler: (pretending) Oh my God! You-almost-gave-me-a-heart-attack.
Chandler: No, really youre gonna freeze.
Chandler: Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild.
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
[Scene, Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.]
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
Chandler: Yeah, now how's that going though? Are you okay with the not-flirting thing?
Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
Chandler: What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning!
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
Chandler: Hey Mon, how's it going?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
Chandler: Oh come on, come on, it can't be that bad.
Chandler: We should start with the big stuff. Yknow? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.)
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: OK well here, we'll just move the coffee table closer to the couch.
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
Chandler: Yeah, Monica doesn't like that either, Maybe I should stop doing that.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.
Chandler: That's not specific to girls.
Chandler: Man, I'm so lucky I have Monica.
Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monicas gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Okay, is this lamp in the same place?
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Chandler: (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
Monica: Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
Ross: I-I had to show Chandler something?
Chandler: Bye! Thank God
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?