words in movies
(Monica and Chandler come running in.)
Chandler: That's right.
Chandler: Oh no.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Hey! You okay?
Chandler: Did he just say, he loves Fonzie?
Chandler: All right
Chandler: Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Chandler: Really? Male nurses?
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
Chandler: This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?
Chandler: All right.
[Scene: The waiting room, Chandler is looking for Monica.]
Chandler: (spotting her) Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are!
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Chandler: Fine! Maybe I will too!
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Hey!
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Chandler: All right. Very good.
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Chandler: Bye, momi-moo.
Chandler: Yes!
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Chandler: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.
Chandler: Okay, keep saying it!
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
(Dan leaves as Chandler enters.)
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Chandler: Really? Okay, so
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Chandler: Right!
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.
Chandler: Alright! Just follow my lead!
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Monica & Chandler: Sure! Alright...
Chandler: I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child?
Chandler: Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth (he goes towards the counter)
Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.
Chandler: You sure you don't wanna stick around a little longer?
Chandler: Ok.
Chandler: I think we've found our sperm!
Chandler: Yeah, you think so, well? Should I ask him?
Chandler: (smiling) Yeah.
Chandler: So you know this leaves us with...
Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.
Chandler: Really? Are you sure?
Chandler: Yeah, he's better!
Chandler: How do you feel about that?
Zack: (hardly enthusiastic) Hey Chandler.
Chandler: Hey, Zack!
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Chandler: We are gonna be great parents.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Chandler: You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would ya?
Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
Chandler: (sings in a helium voice) First I was afraid, I was petrified (very happy)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Chandler: Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at www.hahanotsomuch.com.
Chandler: Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions?
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Monica: (to Chandler) See?
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind".
Chandler: (upset) She does?
Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it.
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Chandler: Seriously, we're gonna do this?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Well, you're welcome! Glad I could help.
Chandler: David, I'm pretending to read here!!
Chandler: I didn't mean now...
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
[Scene: Back in New York, Monica and Chandler in Central Perk on the couch]
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
(Monica and Chandler reach the group)
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Chandler: Man, that's some bad advice!
(Rachel turns around and sees Chandler and Monica arriving)
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed!
Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross!
Rachel: Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler.
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!
Chandler: That would be advice!!
Chandler: (offended) What? (pause) May I?
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
Chandler: Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone!
Chandler: (at the laptop) Oh, no, no, no dear God, no!
Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive.
Chandler: Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!!
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Chandler: Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...!
Chandler: I just feel awful.
Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out)
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) And make sure our room isn't next to theirs (points to Phoebe).
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Chandler: (pretending not to sense the tone) Oooh! I hope you're happy too, honey!
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
(Chandler walks in)
Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
Chandler: This vacation sucks!!
Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!
Ross: If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended)
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Chandler: That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.
Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.]
Chandler: Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes.
(the paleontologist glares at Chandler)
Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores.
Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really?
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartement. Chandler and the guest are in the living room, Monica in the kitchen]
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Chandler: You hear that! That is her chose, mister Ill let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! (does the wave.)
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]