words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey! Babe! Arent you excited were going on our honeymoon?
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Chandler: Id better go pack.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: No.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Were you just ten seconds later!
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Chandler: What else is new?
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Chandler: Not fun anymore?
Chandler: Oh that is over!
Chandler: You guys wanna eat here?
Chandler: Yeah, you almost overreacted to something.
Rachel: No, I meant with the dropper over here. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Okay, so Richard, Richard!
Chandler: Ohh.
Chandler: Oh, Richard. That's all I ever hear, Richard, Richard, Richard!
Chandler: What?
Rachel: Chandler!
Chandler: You okay there man?
Chandler: How much did I love The King and I? (Oh, you get the point by now.)
Chandler: Well we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers.
Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Yeah, I know that means buddy!
Chandler: Well, uh, we can talk about that too Pheebs.
Chandler: Thank you.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Chandler: All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Chandler: We dont have to come up with this now.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Chandler: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die.
Chandler: It's throwing and catching!
Chandler: All right, let me in. (He jumps off of the counter to join in the game.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: So you don't get paid unless the movie makes money?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Chandler: Okay!
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!
Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first.
Chandler: All right, bye-bye now!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: (laughing) Okay. (Deadpan) But it is officially nighttime.
Chandler: Too dry.
Chandler: I don't know.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Isn't that Ross's money?
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Yes.
Chandler: Look Joe, I just, I just don't want to get your hopes up real high.
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Chandler: No! (Realizes) Ahhh!!!
Chandler: I also said, "Yes!"
Chandler: Oh, you don't want me on the trip?
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Chandler: All right, fine! Fine! Why don't you pull over? I'll get out right now!
Chandler: You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge.
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Chandler: Oh! Oh! That's so hard. (Starts to juggle the ball, but loses control and almost drops it and hands it to Monica.)
Chandler: Here you go. (Hands her the money.) Now stop bringing us pizzas you.
Chandler: That's a good idea. I wonder where I could (Pause) get a basket of porn
Chandler: Awesome!
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
[Cut to Chandler]
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: I'm not a dropper!
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Okay.
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
Chandler: Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow!
Chandler: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Chandler: Do we have to?
Chandler: Yes.
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!