words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey! Babe! Arent you excited were going on our honeymoon?
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Chandler: Id better go pack.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: No.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Were you just ten seconds later!
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Chandler: What else is new?
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
JOEY: (spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa.� Wait a minute.� Wait a minute.� If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
CHANDLER: What?
(Monica goes to the door.� Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)
CHANDLER: Really?� You're gonna be okay?
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
CHANDLER: Okay, bye.
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
MONICA: (taps chandler on the arm) You can go.
CHANDLER: You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
(Chandler heads toward the stairs, but makes a turn back to his apartment while looking at the ticket.)
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can�t remember why. (to everyone:) You�re not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Chandler: So, who does?
Chandler: (coming from the bedroom) Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa.
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't be here.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Chandler: Haha, no thanks!
Chandler: Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Chandler: What? That's terrible!
Chandler: No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Phoebe: Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Chandler: If I help, we can find 'em faster!
Chandler: OK, Pheebs, your turn.
Chandler: (entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And last but not least.
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is eating breakfast, Joey quietly opens his bedroom door.]
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: Why?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Santa? Really?
Chandler: Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Chandler: Ah. Thanks.
Chandler: Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?
Chandler: Did I not tell *anyone* about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.
Chandler: I sent them home.
Chandler: Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing.
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Chandler: Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.
Chandler: Uhh, uh...
Chandler: I don't know!
Chandler: Well, she... she didn't win...
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Chandler: Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Chandler: I'm serious!
Chandler: (hanging up the phone) The wife says "Hi!".
Chandler: Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Chandler: Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Chandler: Right. So, I'm sorry...
Chandler: I'm *happily* married.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
(Chandler starts to think about it...)
Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!
Chandler: But we don't do that.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Two!
Chandler: Yep!
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Chandler: Count of three?
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Chandler: Eh! (They start making out again)
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Really? Okay, so...
Chandler: Right!