words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey! Babe! Arent you excited were going on our honeymoon?
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Chandler: Id better go pack.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: No.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Were you just ten seconds later!
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Chandler: What else is new?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Chandler: Look, when Ive been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and Im sorry.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
Chandler: All right! Go left! Go left! Go right!! Go right!!
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Chandler: Really? I dont like baths.
Chandler: Who are you? Ansel Adams?! Get outta here!
Chandler: Are you, are you high?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Chandler: Honey, its not the bath I enjoy, its the wet, naked lady.
Chandler: Oh my God, whats up?!
Chandler: Oh no-no, no you dont, just come back.
Chandler: In London?
Chandler: Do you?
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
Chandler: If that.
Chandler: Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
Chandler: Perfect decibel.
Chandler: Sex on the balcony?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: What is it?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Monica comes from the bathroom as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Oh my God.
(Chandler runs into the bathroom)
Chandler: Well, this does butch it up a bit.
Chandler: All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony?
Chandler: Im going to need a bigger boat.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
Chandler: Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh!
Chandler: Im in the bathtub.
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
<Chandler grabs Joey's left arm and pushes the sleeve up>
Chandler: I had the exact same conversation.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Chandler: But what did he mean by rules?
Chandler: The bath salts! Theyre starting to effervesce! Its different. (Pause) Its interesting.
Chandler: He didnt say anything about that to me.
Chandler: My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
Chandler: You dont say anything.
Chandler: Im not going to let you say anything.
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Chandler: What are you going to do?
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Chandler: Oh, God!
Phoebe: (Groans) Is it Chandler?
Monica: Not Chandler, just Joey.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Chandler: I totally understand. (They both laugh.) Can I just see your bra?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: (To Monica) You told her?!
Chandler: Oh, its so hard to care when youre this relaxed.
Chandler: You like Rachel?!
Chandler: Ill Ill get you later!
Chandler: (thinking) All right, this isnt so bad. I like the flower smell! Which is okay, because Ive got my boat.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
Chandler: Well you proved them wrong.
Chandler: Youre not?
Chandler: Yeah. And what youre doing feels so good.
(They all hug and then turn and look at Chandler)
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]
Chandler: Hey Pheebs, whats up?
Phoebe: Oh are you and Chandler
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Monica: (laughs) No. (Closes the door as Chandler walks up.)
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Well, Phoebe I thought Id(Off Phoebes look)Yeah, what the hell. (Exits with Phoebe.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Chandler: Hey babe.
Chandler: How about to the street say from the balcony?
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has opened another wedding present as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Okay. How about in that cabinet?
Phoebe: (entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!
Chandler: Fine.
Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! TV announcer: And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives .
Chandler: Dont try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!
Chandler: (walking casually away) Love you.
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on the secret closet when someone enters.]
Chandler: And here we go
Chandler: Honey, its 2:00 on a Wednesday and Im watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?
Chandler: No not (imitating) Candy Lady.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Chandler: There has got to be a way!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Chandler: Thats a good idea.