words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey! Babe! Arent you excited were going on our honeymoon?
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Chandler: Id better go pack.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: No.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Were you just ten seconds later!
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Chandler: What else is new?
Chandler: (stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Ooh, I do! I do! I do!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Chandler and Joey: Nice!
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla!
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Phoebe: Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Phoebe: So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?
Chandler: So what happened?
Chandler: Oh hey, how'd the interview go?
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Rachel: Thanks Chandler.
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Chandler: Well you coulda tried, not kissing him.
Chandler: Come on, Rach.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler makes a noise) No?
Chandler: Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head.
Chandler: (To Gary) So what do you say, maybe sometime I hold your gun?
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Ohh, so?
Chandler: Uh, yeah.
Monica: Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Chandler: No, you're the best.
Chandler: That was amazing.
Chandler: That was amazing!
Chandler: No, you're the best.
Chandler: Well, my Grandfather was Swedish and my Grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)
Phoebe: You tired Chandler?
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
Chandler: Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?
Monica: Hi Chandler.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Chandler: Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now.
Chandler: (gasps) So?
Chandler: Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about?
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: (entering) You guys ready fore the movies?
Chandler: Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out!
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Chandler: Okay. (He picks the 9 of Spades)
Chandler: Oh yes.
Chandler: (pause) Yes.
Chandler: Hi there!
Chandler: What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!
Chandler: That.
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Chandler: Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme?
Chandler: Dude! That's my girlfriend!
(As they walk out he motions to Chandler that he is still Ben's godfather.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler comes running in. Everyone else is already there.]
(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)
Chandler: Yeah, it is the best.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Chandler: Yeah, I wanna go to babe.
Chandler: Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.
Chandler: Yeah, or you can do the easy thing and smoke.
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
Chandler: Oh, hey! (Ross nods in agreement as well.)
(As they turn the couch, Chandler gets sandwiched between the railing and the couch.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, the games not over, were just switching teams.
Chandler: Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean.
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: Ah sure. What's in 'em?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Joey: What? Chandler! Tell 'em!
Chandler: (shocked) Well I mean, let me get the door first. (Goes and opens the door.) Oh, hi! No one. (Exits.)
Chandler: Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Yes you did! You look happy and sick; you smoked!
Chandler: I wish I had smoked for my career
Chandler: I think you smell great! (He sniffs her shoulder.)
Chandler: (wincing) Yes, he is!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Chandler: Great job with the cups, Pheebs!
(Chandler starts to follow her into the kitchen.)
(Everyone stops and looks at Chandler, who's nodding.)
Chandler: Thank you! Thank you! (Runs to the snow cone machine.)
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Chandler: Okay, great.
Chandler: Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
Chandler: I'll catch you guys later. (Exits.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!