words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey! Babe! Arent you excited were going on our honeymoon?
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Chandler: Id better go pack.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: No.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Were you just ten seconds later!
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Chandler: What else is new?
Chandler: Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go.
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
Chandler: (entering) Hello!
Chandler: I didnt know that.
Chandler: (sarcastic) Noo.
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Chandler: Oh, that's Ross's.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry
Chandler: I'm over here big guy.
Chandler and Joey: Ohhh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
CHANDLER: We have to assign heads to something.
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Chandler: (laughing) You did look like an idiot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Chandler: If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard.
Chandler: Well, You could, but... probably just the one time.
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Chandler: Oh, its awkward. Its awkward. Its awkward.
Chandler: (shocked) Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, youyeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Chandler: Im not even Im not even
Joey: Yes! (to Chandler) Shame about you man.
Chandler: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Chandler: (entering) Hey guys, what are you doing?
Chandler: He just said, "No strippers."
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Chandler: Central Perk?
Chandler: Lets just say if I cant find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Joey enter having just woken up.]
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Chandler: (opening the door) What?
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Chandler: You slept with the stripper?
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Chandler: Way to be cool, man.
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
[Scene: Chandlers office, the guys are there waiting to ambush the stripper.]
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Chandler: He will, Joe.
Chandler: Hey, come on, its not your fault.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Chandler: You cant tell, but Im trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No, you should.
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Chandler: No. No. Were not gonna do that, yknow why? Because its not an even trade.
Chandler: What a baby.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Chandler: You got your passport?
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Chandler: There it is.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? I was wrong.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You cant offer anything to us!
Chandler: I am, Im ignoring you.
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Chandler: To Put the Camera Away!!!
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!