words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey! Babe! Arent you excited were going on our honeymoon?
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Chandler: Id better go pack.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: No.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Were you just ten seconds later!
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Chandler: What else is new?
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Chandler: Did she look 16?
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the porn star!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying on a pair of new boots as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Im gonna miss being able to afford food.
Chandler: She had a point. (Shows her the receipt.)
Chandler: I have you.
Chandler: Yeah well, too bad were gonna have to return them.
Chandler: No bunny at all!! Always no bunny at all!!!
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Chandler: Hey-hey.
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I dont think you did a very thorough job!
Chandler: (returning to his seat) Hey!
Chandler: (opening the door) Whats wrong?
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: Oh relax man, relax. Youre looking a little flushed.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Chandler: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Yknow, that party wasnt bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hop on.
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Chandler: Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Chandler: (pause) I dont have your boots.
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Chandler: Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)
Chandler: Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
Chandler: Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Monica: (to the boots) Bye bootsWait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Chandler: Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Chandler: No.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Doug is entering.]
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
Chandler: Well now-now youre just talking crazy.
Chandler: Because uh we-we we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Should we call the spitter?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Chandler: Hi honey Im home.
Chandler: Ooh, I dont know if were there yet.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Chandler: Oh, okay.
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Chandler: I kinda like it here.
Chandler: Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?
Chandler: Well what did it do?
Chandler: Bravo Dennis thanks for pleasing my mother so.
Chandler: A vending machine?
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Monica: Chandler! Phoebes hogging the game!
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
Chandler: Who cares? Its a stupid game.
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Monica: Chandler! Hes seven; hes not stupid.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
Chandler: Because its awesome.