words in movies
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Chandler: You got it.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Chandler: Yes, Bunny?
Chandler: (to Joey) Could've been a peach.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Chandler: He's open!
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Chandler: Then what?
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
Chandler: Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Chandler: Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Chandler: Yeah, I-I-I think so. (Pauses and thinks about it for a second) Yeah, I-I think so...
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, (claps his hands) banging his hands together!
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Chandler: Okay, so when do you want to go?
Chandler: (confused) Sure...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Rent?
Chandler: A pen.
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Chandler: For three years?
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel, Rachel is there, Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Chandler: Where?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Chandler: Oh yeah? That's great!
Chandler: Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Chandler: Oh, yeah... yeah.
Chandler: Happy birthday! I'm sorry.
Chandler: Hey! Happy birthday.
Chandler: No he didn't. [Moving it back.]
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Chandler: Uh, the book?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Chandler: What do you mean?
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: Goodnight. (Goes to his room.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, he's my... he's my best friend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?
Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh my God! Play!
Chandler: You mean like, music?
Chandler: Come in!
Chandler: I don't know... um, Grease?
[Scene: The conference room in Tulsa again, Chandler is trying to evade Wendy]
Chandler: What happened?
Chandler: Joey! Joey!!
Chandler: Why cant you tell her?
Chandler: I thought your time ran out.
Chandler: Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Chandler: Really, bitchin!
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Chandler: Kay.
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Yeah. Yes! Yeah.
Chandler: Okay.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: Wait the uh, the kiss or the situation?
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts jumping around.)
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Chandler: I-I think we have too.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: What-what cha doin?