words in movies
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Chandler: You got it.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Chandler: Yes, Bunny?
Chandler: (to Joey) Could've been a peach.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Chandler: He's open!
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Chandler: Then what?
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Chandler: Yeah, get out!
Chandler: I'm sorry!
Chandler: Can I just say one thing?
Chandler: (gesturing towards another table) What about the birds?
Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.
Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.
Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Chandler: Huh.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?
Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.
Chandler: Tell me what?
Chandler: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering with a peace offering of a Joey Special, two pizzas.]
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?
Chandler: Well, you're gonna.
Chandler: Yeah. I really do.
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Chandler: Get off!
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
(Chandler laughs)
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!
Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.
Chandler: (Comes out of his room) What? What?
Chandler: Basically we just feel that he's...
(The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down)
Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
Chandler: Any contact?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend.
Chandler: Oh, uh, listen, about tonight...
Chandler: ...And what did you bring?
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Chandler: Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a...
Chandler: Janice?
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Chandler: Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice.
[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]
Chandler: (shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so I�m feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.
Chandler: That's OK.
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Chandler: Tell me it's "you and me" we.
Chandler: And we're also gonna buy you tiny, bird hearing-aids.
(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Chandler: So...
Chandler: You're okay there?
Chandler: I hope she throws up on you.
Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night!
Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?
Chandler: No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg.
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
Monica: Oh, Chandler, sorry.
Chandler: Oh, good, Joey's home now.