words in movies
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Chandler: You got it.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Chandler: Yes, Bunny?
Chandler: (to Joey) Could've been a peach.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Chandler: He's open!
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Chandler: Then what?
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Chandler: Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.
Chandler: Ahh, come on! Yknow whatyknow what, I think Im just gonna go home and call Kathy.
(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too. Y'know if this shirt is dirty. (Smells it.) Yep.
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Chandler: What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Chandler: Sorry man.
Chandler: I know, I can do this. (He takes her hand.)
Chandler: Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party.
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Chandler: No, sir.
Chandler: Oh, that was my work laugh.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
(Chandler does a fake laugh.)
Chandler: Hey! Everybody at work loved you last night!
Chandler: Okay, good luck with that. (Exits.)
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Chandler: Let them win one.
Chandler: Okay, easy Martina. I think we should let them win the next game.
Chandler: You're not even giving them a chance!
Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH MY GOD.
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
Chandler: Long! (Gives Monica the Work Laugh.)
Chandler: Thank you! (They hug.) All right, I gotta go unpack.
Chandler: If we hadn't lost the game they never would've invented us to dinner tomorrow night.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
Chandler: Oopsey, missed it!
Chandler: It was my racquet.
(Chandler cuts in front of her and hits the ball high and long.)
Chandler: Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Chandler: I dont care, this is our apartment! And they stoleyou stole itour apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. Im getting back right now!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Chandler: Oh, you get used to it.
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Chandler: Well, I-I just didn't think it was funny sir.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Well, I just
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
Chandler: Coffee in a fight! (Does the laugh again.)
Chandler: I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
Chandler: But we're not ready to tell yet!
(After she exits, Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Chandler: Why would I be mad?
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
(She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
Chandler: It's your timer.
Chandler: All right, then massage me up right nice!
Chandler: Ah! Ahh!! Ahh!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
Chandler: Done.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Good-bye muscles!!
(Chandler picks up a basket from the table and puts it on his head.)
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!
Chandler: So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal?
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
Chandler: And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it downlet's write it down!
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know?
Chandler: And a date with a man!
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
Chandler: Okay, but after that, were shootin some pool.
Chandler: (falling into that trap) I don't like your massages.
Chandler: Hey, is Rachel here?
Chandler: You built a fort didn't ya?