words in movies
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Chandler: You got it.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Chandler: Yes, Bunny?
Chandler: (to Joey) Could've been a peach.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Chandler: He's open!
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Chandler: Then what?
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Chandler: Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away?
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Chandler: So you dont have the cameras?!
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Were you just ten seconds later!
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
Chandler: What else is new?
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Chandler: Theyre terrific, and they live right here in the city.
Chandler: We really didnt get a chance to
Chandler: Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance
Chandler: Lets call em.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Here you go. (Shows her the number again.)
Chandler: Funny: ha-ha or funny: (Mimes blowing his brain out.)
Chandler: Yknow who has a great video camera?
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
CHANDLER: This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna need to see that tape. (They rest of them agree.)
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Chandler: I still dont get it, we didnt do anything wrong.
Chandler: I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment)
Chandler: Well maybe it was all of your questions.
Chandler: (angrily) Was that another question?
(Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.)
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Chandler: Thats the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!
Chandler: Don't judge me, I'm only human!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Chandler: Why is there jelly on your shoe?
Rachel: Yeah! Yeah. Theyre theyre-theyre my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus.
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
Chandler: Again?!
Chandler: Yeah, he thinks thats my name.
Chandler: Hey thats okay. So, where do you want to go?
Chandler: Whats funny about that?
Chandler: Some girl...!?
Chandler: No! That would be so awkward! LookBesides, we work in different departments. Hes on the sixth floor yknow? So he calls me Toby once in a while. Whats the big deal? It could be worse, its not like hes calling me Muriel. (Chandler suddenly freezes into place.)
Chandler: Yeah...!?
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler has replaced Rosita with his chair.]
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Chandler: Shh! It is a family name!
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
Chandler: The Hard Rock Caf�?
Chandler: Hey Bob.
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: If I see him, Ill ask.
Chandler: Yknow what you should do, just toss em in the shedder and claim you never got em.
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Chandler: Jenny! That is so Jenny!
Chandler: Sure, whats up?
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
Chandler: So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! (Slams the framed invitation down onto the table.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Chandler: Hey Bobby.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Chandler: Okay Bob listen uhh, Im the reason you didnt get the job up here.
Chandler: Bob!
Chandler: Well that puts me in a difficult position.
Chandler: But youre not just a soap actor. You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
Rachel: (thinks then gasps) Chandler M. Bing?
Chandler: Why am I hearing cheering?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Bob is ransacking Chandlers office.]
Chandler: Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
Chandler: Youre an actor!
Chandler: Football? Just football?
Chandler: I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!
Chandler: How is that me?