words in movies
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Chandler: You got it.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Chandler: Yes, Bunny?
Chandler: (to Joey) Could've been a peach.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Chandler: He's open!
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Chandler: Then what?
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
CHANDLER: Oh, oh, c'mon in.
CHANDLER: Bit country? C'mon in here you roomie.
CHANDLER: Bye.
CHANDLER: Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little...
CHANDLER: So, we gettin' a fish?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
CHANDLER: No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
CHANDLER: Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend.
CHANDLER: There was no fish when she dropped it off.
CHANDLER: Buddy?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
CHANDLER: Could you get us a couple of beers?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
CHANDLER: Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's.
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
CHANDLER: Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
CHANDLER: We're worried about you.
CHANDLER: C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless.
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
CHANDLER: It's gonna be ok. You know that?
CHANDLER: I'm sorry man.
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
CHANDLER: Ok, good night. [walks towards his room] You big freak of nature.
CHANDLER: Why?
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom. Chandler is sleeping and Eddie is there watching him.]
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
CHANDLER: GET OUT NOW!!
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
CHANDLER: I want you out.
CHANDLER: Yes please.
CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?
[Eddie leaves the room and Chandler mouths "Thank you" to himself]
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
CHANDLER: See, that's why we don't let her play.
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
Chandler: See, Im not bad at this fixing up thing, huh?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
CHANDLER: Uhhhaahh.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
CHANDLER: Your last roommate's kidney?
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: Uuuh.
CHANDLER: Why must everybody watch me sleep? There'll be no more watching me sleep, no more watching.
CHANDLER: Uh-huh.
CHANDLER: Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
CHANDLER: This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue.
CHANDLER: You want some help.
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
CHANDLER: [stares in disbeliefe] Yeah o-, OK, alright. [oven timer goes off] Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch.
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
CHANDLER: Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
CHANDLER: Well, how do you find clothes that fit?
Chandler: Op, op, Im convinced!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
CHANDLER: Our next cocktail party?
CHANDLER: So what happened?
CHANDLER: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
CHANDLER: Eddie, do you remember yesterday?
CHANDLER: I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
CHANDLER: Oh sweet Moses.
CHANDLER: Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.
CHANDLER: May I help you?
[Scene: Hallway outside Chandler and Joey's apartment. Eddie walks up.]
CHANDLER: Well, I'm, I'm sorry...[Eddie forces his head in the door] Ahhh. Have we met?
CHANDLER: Well I, I think we'd remember something like that.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
CHANDLER: Absolutely.
CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
CHANDLER: You're not a dad. You're not a dad.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
CHANDLER: Ahhhh-gaaaahhh. Eddie what're you still doin' here?
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
CHANDLER: No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work.
Chandler: Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk?