words in movies
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Chandler: You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Chandler: Well, it's official there are no good movies.
Chandler: Hey, man. What's up?
Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Chandler: (entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.
Chandler: Noo.
Chandler: No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Chandler: Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
Chandler: Do we have any...(turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Chandler: It doesn't scare me!
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Chandler: Then I got all needy and clingy.
Chandler: She said she'd call me.
Chandler: Oh God.
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
Chandler: So, you don't think I'm terminal?
Chandler: Okay, okay. So, should I call her?
Chandler: So I'm not, not gonna lose her?
Chandler: I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Janice: (to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Chandler: (in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?
Chandler: (normal voice) No. Not anymore.
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.
Chandler: Here in Chelsea.
Chandler: A woman's
Chandler: (shyly) Chelsea.
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Monica: My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'.
Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Chandler: Hello!
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: Oh relax man, relax. Youre looking a little flushed.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Chandler: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Yknow, that party wasnt bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hop on.
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Chandler: Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Chandler: (pause) I dont have your boots.
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Chandler: Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)
Chandler: Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
Chandler: Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Monica: (to the boots) Bye bootsWait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Chandler: Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Chandler: No.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Doug is entering.]
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
Chandler: Well now-now youre just talking crazy.
Chandler: Because uh we-we we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Should we call the spitter?
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Chandler: Hi honey Im home.
Chandler: Ooh, I dont know if were there yet.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Chandler: Oh, okay.
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Chandler: I kinda like it here.
Chandler: Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?
Chandler: Well what did it do?
Chandler: Bravo Dennis thanks for pleasing my mother so.
Chandler: A vending machine?
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Monica: Chandler! Phoebes hogging the game!
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
Chandler: Who cares? Its a stupid game.
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Monica: Chandler! Hes seven; hes not stupid.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
Chandler: Because its awesome.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Chandler: With the claw?!
Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today?
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Chandler: (smiles) Pull my finger(Looks at his hand)My hand is messed up.
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Chandler: Look, when Ive been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and Im sorry.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
Chandler: All right! Go left! Go left! Go right!! Go right!!
Chandler: I will explain it to her.