words in movies
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Chandler: You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Chandler: Well, it's official there are no good movies.
Chandler: Hey, man. What's up?
Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Chandler: (entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.
Chandler: Noo.
Chandler: No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Chandler: Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
Chandler: Do we have any...(turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Chandler: It doesn't scare me!
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Chandler: Then I got all needy and clingy.
Chandler: She said she'd call me.
Chandler: Oh God.
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
Chandler: So, you don't think I'm terminal?
Chandler: Okay, okay. So, should I call her?
Chandler: So I'm not, not gonna lose her?
Chandler: I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Janice: (to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Chandler: (in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?
Chandler: (normal voice) No. Not anymore.
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.
Chandler: Here in Chelsea.
Chandler: A woman's
Chandler: (shyly) Chelsea.
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Monica: My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'.
Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Chandler: Hello!
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Chandler: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
Monica: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: No way! If anything youve gotta let me win! My wife thinks Im a wimp!
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Chandler: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]
Chandler: Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
Chandler: Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
Chandler: Noo!
Chandler: 8. 8!
Chandler: Okay, ah umm, ah, a 8. Ah, a 6?
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Chandler: Another hard 8.
Chandler: (sees the roll) Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about!
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: (spots one) Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one?
Chandler: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: Yes! I love you! I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Monica: Nobody move! (To Chandler) Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way!
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Chandler: It's a four.
Chandler: Two fours.
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: I don't think so.
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Chandler: ADRIENNE TURNER!! (A girl behind them turns around)
Chandler: Hello! One marriage please!
(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, whos a little angry.)
Chandler and Monica: All right.
Chandler: (singing) Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Why did you take the shower curtain down?
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
(Chandler and Monica are stunned again.)
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: We actually missed it.
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.
Chandler: Hi!
(Chandler and Monica enter.)
Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you.
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
[Chandler and Phoebe feign ignorance.]
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: (returning with Joey) Hi.
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Chandler: (not quite sure) You did.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Chandler: I dont know. But I-I-I know I love you!
Chandler: Sounds great.
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, yes eight.
Chandler: Ready!
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) Were doing the right thing, right?
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Chandler: Well you did pull his hair.
Chandler: Im not getting into this again!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right!
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Chandler: Or we can do the actual telephone thing.
CHANDLER: Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)
[Scene: The hallway, Chandler is helping Monica to the door.]