words in movies
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Chandler: You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Chandler: Well, it's official there are no good movies.
Chandler: Hey, man. What's up?
Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Chandler: (entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.
Chandler: Noo.
Chandler: No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Chandler: Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
Chandler: Do we have any...(turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Chandler: It doesn't scare me!
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Chandler: Then I got all needy and clingy.
Chandler: She said she'd call me.
Chandler: Oh God.
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
Chandler: So, you don't think I'm terminal?
Chandler: Okay, okay. So, should I call her?
Chandler: So I'm not, not gonna lose her?
Chandler: I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Janice: (to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Chandler: (in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?
Chandler: (normal voice) No. Not anymore.
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.
Chandler: Here in Chelsea.
Chandler: A woman's
Chandler: (shyly) Chelsea.
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Monica: My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'.
Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Chandler: Hello!
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Chandler: Bored and bored!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Chandler: Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.
Chandler: Big bullies!!
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Chandler: Where ya going?
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
Chandler: Ahhhh! (Steps away from her.)
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Chandler: (to the duck) Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! (He goes back into the apartment)
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Joey: Y'know what, hold on, let me go get Chandler. (gets up and leaves.)
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Chandler: (jumping up) Oh, Ill go out and get you some.
Chandler: Excellent hole, Joe.
Chandler: Well, can we help?! You want us to take you back to the house?!
(Monica enters and Chandler screams stuff at the TV.)
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
Chandler: Weve got to do something!
Chandler: Me too!!
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Chandler: Fears and Pet Peeves.
Chandler: (jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: NO!!!
Chandler: Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase.
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Chandler: (running over and joining Monica) Theyll never understand!
Chandler: I see, I see, y-y-you're trying to freak me out.
Chandler: Well, those were seals, man.
Chandler: And then Joey remembered something.
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: Okay. All right.
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Chandler: We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked.
Chandler: Wow! That ripped! That ripped real nice!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are playing cards at the dinner table.]
Chandler: All right, how about we, how bout we sell it.
Chandler: You want it?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Chandler: Uh-huh, first you tell us where you got the prettiest lace in all the land.
Chandler: (looks at him) Nooo.
Chandler: (interrupting) Let it go!!
Chandler: (quietly) ...spender.
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
CHANDLER: I can't believe you got us into trouble. [slaps Joey on the arm. Joey takes exception and slaps him back]
Chandler: Youll have to pardon my roommate, he wanted to marry this.
Joey: (to Chandler) Nana?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Y'know, I, I really dont think we need a canoe.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times hes wrong.
Chandler: She has a real name.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: Im coming already!!
(Rachel and Chandler slide into position.)
Chandler: Nice shooting!
Chandler: Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Chandler: OH MY GOD!!!
Chandler: Are you all right?!
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: SoYou got in voluntarily?!
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, You dont have insurance here, so stop calling us.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
Chandler: Oh-no, hes right.
Chandler: Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!
Chandler: Could we be more white trash?
Chandler: Ive got canned goods.
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandlers not here, he always wins at this game.
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Chandler: Well, not at first.