words in movies
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Chandler: You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Chandler: Well, it's official there are no good movies.
Chandler: Hey, man. What's up?
Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Chandler: (entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.
Chandler: Noo.
Chandler: No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Chandler: Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
Chandler: Do we have any...(turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Chandler: It doesn't scare me!
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Chandler: Then I got all needy and clingy.
Chandler: She said she'd call me.
Chandler: Oh God.
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
Chandler: So, you don't think I'm terminal?
Chandler: Okay, okay. So, should I call her?
Chandler: So I'm not, not gonna lose her?
Chandler: I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Janice: (to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Chandler: (in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?
Chandler: (normal voice) No. Not anymore.
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.
Chandler: Here in Chelsea.
Chandler: A woman's
Chandler: (shyly) Chelsea.
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Monica: My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'.
Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Chandler: Hello!
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
RACHEL: Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here.
CHANDLER: Oh my God! (it's Janice)
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Chandler: Huh. (They all leave, dejected)
Chandler: Morning.
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
Chandler: Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is coming in from the bedroom]
Chandler: Nope, not this time.
Chandler: Yeah, I know. She makes me happy.
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
[Chandler enters]
Chandler: Of!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters to find Chandler staring at another cheesecake box.]
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?
Chandler: Well, there you go.
Chandler: No, Janice.
Chandler: I want you to say that you like her!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's]
Chandler: Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh!
Janice: For Chandler!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Chandler: Umm, yeah.
Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I know!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Yeah! All right! You go first.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Chandler: You said...
Chandler: Really.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Chandler: What are you guys doing together?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Well, I guess that's something.
Chandler: You still can't stand her can you?
Chandler: Oh God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.
Chandler: Taste it.
Chandler: Hey, mister tux!
Chandler and
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Chandler: You're in my seat.
Chandler: 'Cause I was sitting there.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Chandler: We're not gonna talk about girth are we?
Chandler: Really!
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Chandler: What?
Chandler and
Chandler: All right! (jumps up)
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Chandler: Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Chandler: (shyly) The sheep.
CHANDLER: Oh o-, OK man.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.]
Chandler: He's got nothing!
Chandler: What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
Chandler: He took my essence!
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
CHANDLER: [throws it across the room while Eddie's not looking] Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling?
Chandler: They got a phone in there, right?
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Chandler: Stop it. Stop it!
Chandler: I mean, I was sitting there.
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
Chandler: Excuse me. Hi.
Chandler: Well, your kind of sitting in my seat.
Chandler: All right, that's it, give me your underwear.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.