words in movies
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.
Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!
Chandler: Not a one.
Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: Yuh-huh.
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?
Chandler: There you go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Chandler: Here we go.
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?
Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.
Chandler: That's great.
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Chandler: That's it?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Chandler: I'm fine.
Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Chandler: How do you do that?
Chandler: We should always always break up together.
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!
Chandler: Look, we cant stay in here forever.
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
Chandler: Go and tell Rachel right now before Ross finds out.
Chandler: Thats funny, this conversations how I got the bullet hole in my head.
Chandler: You still havent told Rachel you werent really proposing?
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: (walking by with Chandler.) Hey dad!
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Rachel: WellReally? I thought Chandler was your best friend.
Chandler: Yea yea. (Pulls the balloon out of his mouth)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Chandler: Walter (nods).
Chandler: Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Chandler: Yep.
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. Youre gonna love Oklahoma.
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandlers meeting continues.]
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
Chandler: (enters) Hey.
Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Chandler: The Sooner State, whatever that is.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Chandler: People whove never ever been to Paris.
Chandler: (hears Emma crying) What is wrong with Emma?
[Scene: Ms. McKennas Office, Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Chandler: (entering, loudly) Hey!
Chandler: Oh so there cant be any yelling.
Chandler: (enters) Hey, what you guys talking about?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us.
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Chandler: I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Chandler: (Enters) Hey!
Chandler: I've got good news!
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
[SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Hey, you said that without gagging!
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Monica, here's your broom back.
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Chandler: Hey!
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: How far outside?
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chandler: All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if its not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!
Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Chandler: Actually what?
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
Chandler: Of course I will call you. I love you.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler.
Chandler: Awww. (They hug) Bye!
Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss)
Chandler: I know.
Monica: Chandler, we still havent gotten an RSVP from your dad.
Chandler: Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Chandler: What?