words in movies
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.
Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!
Chandler: Not a one.
Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: Yuh-huh.
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?
Chandler: There you go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Chandler: Here we go.
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?
Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.
Chandler: That's great.
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Chandler: That's it?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Chandler: I'm fine.
Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Chandler: How do you do that?
Chandler: We should always always break up together.
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!
Chandler: Yeah, I wanna go to babe.
Chandler: Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.
Chandler: Yeah, or you can do the easy thing and smoke.
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
Chandler: Oh, hey! (Ross nods in agreement as well.)
(As they turn the couch, Chandler gets sandwiched between the railing and the couch.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, the games not over, were just switching teams.
Chandler: Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean.
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: Ah sure. What's in 'em?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Joey: What? Chandler! Tell 'em!
Chandler: (shocked) Well I mean, let me get the door first. (Goes and opens the door.) Oh, hi! No one. (Exits.)
Chandler: Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Yes you did! You look happy and sick; you smoked!
Chandler: I wish I had smoked for my career
Chandler: I think you smell great! (He sniffs her shoulder.)
Chandler: (wincing) Yes, he is!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Chandler: Great job with the cups, Pheebs!
(Chandler starts to follow her into the kitchen.)
(Everyone stops and looks at Chandler, who's nodding.)
Chandler: Thank you! Thank you! (Runs to the snow cone machine.)
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Chandler: Okay, great.
Chandler: Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
Chandler: I'll catch you guys later. (Exits.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Delivery Girl: Hi Chandler!
Chandler: Oooh-hoo, very attractive, forgiving.
Chandler: Okay, bye!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)
Chandler: Oh, okay. (Hands her the money.) Here you go.
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Chandler: I was not and oh God, shh!
Chandler: I was not flirting.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Chandler: Oh, so being a good friend means acting like a total jerk?
(Ross and Chandler enter with the pizzas.)
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
Chandler: Actually, I dont like martinis.
Chandler: Thanks. What, let me have her?! What do mean? Like if you didnt I wouldnt have a shot?
Joey: Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
(Kim exhales and Chandler stares at it longingly.)
Chandler: Uhh, Joey's grandmother is right there. (Points)
Chandler: Happy Anniversary, 10 months! (They kiss.)
Chandler: Hey, why don't you wear those earrings I gave you?
Chandler: The one that doesn't.
Chandler: Okay.
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
Chandler: Well, yknow, youre-youre gonna meet somebody! Youre a great catch! Yknow when I was telling all those guys about you, I didnt have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Chandler: Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head)
Chandler: What?
Ross: Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
Chandler: You're welcome.
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Chandler: (smiling) Well, what is it?
Monica: Have you lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap!
Chandler: (smiling) If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon?
Chandler: Doesn't know, "Hello." But she knows Capricorn One.
Chandler: But Ill tell you something. One of these days were get off of our buts and rent Die Hard again!
Chandler: So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order?
[Cut to Chandler and Monica on the couch.]
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Chandler: It's true.
Chandler: Again true.
[Time lapse, Rachel is coming back from Chandler and Joey's.]
Chandler: Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime.
[Cut to the Men's room. Chandler is practicing flashing his badge as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Okay, hold on. (Pauses as he readies himself.) Okay. (Walks away.)
Chandler: More so than anything else.
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
CHANDLER: Alright, alright, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
Chandler: Almost over man.
Chandler: Why am I looking?
(Joey and Chandler both run to shut off the tape.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey!
(Goes over to Chandler.)
Chandler: You ready?
Chandler: Let me see the earrings.
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Thanks for picking out the earrings man.
Chandler: Hey man, what's up?
Chandler: (looking at them) They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?
Monica: Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Chandler: Yeah, yeah! Me too!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: It is starting to get dark out there.