words in movies
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.
Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!
Chandler: Not a one.
Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: Yuh-huh.
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?
Chandler: There you go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Chandler: Here we go.
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?
Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.
Chandler: That's great.
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Chandler: That's it?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Chandler: I'm fine.
Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Chandler: How do you do that?
Chandler: We should always always break up together.
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Why are you wearing my apron?
Chandler: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Chandler: Oh, hey, when she gets here, is it ok if I introduce you two as "my wife" and "the woman who's carrying my child"? (she's not amused) No? Divorce?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.]
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
Chandler: I'm so sorry...
Monica: (entering with Erica and Chandler) Hey you guys.
Chandler: Why would you say that?
Chandler: Monica. Calm, self.
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
Chandler: Are you asking permission to break the pact?
Chandler: We are NOT signing those papers.
Chandler: The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Chandler: You are going downer!
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Chandler: That's great.
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Chandler: Oh, uhm, okay, uhm, do you mind if we ask you some questions about the father?
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Erica: Yeah... it's almost definitely him. (Monica and Chandler look confused now)
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: So, what does the other guy do? Does he go to college too?
Chandler: I'll bet his dad doesn't think so.
(Time lapse. Chandler and Monica are in bed now)
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
Chandler: I dunno, aren't there tests for these things, right?
Chandler: Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! (He turns the light on)
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
Chandler: Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father killer. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel-wielding arm!
Chandler: Hey! How was lunch?
Chandler: (struggling) Oh, really?
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Chandler: Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do?
Chandler: How do you know?
Chandler: Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it?
Chandler: O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test?
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
CHANDLER: Very informative!
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Chandler: Damn it.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Chandler: And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? (pause) What were the things you said?
Chandler: Oh-oh-hey!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: That's what we were gonna name the baby.
Chandler: Hey, how'd the interview go?
Chandler: That is a bad interview.
Chandler: ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Chandler: I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.
Chandler: To Ross!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
Chandler: What?
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
Chandler: Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.
Chandler: When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
Chandler: BE-LOW me!
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Chandler: Okay, but be careful okay, because I wanna get our security deposit back.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Rachel: Ew, was Chandler naked? Sort of like a, like a ring toss kind of situation?
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully dressed, right?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Really? What changed your mind?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's new house. Sitting near the window, they look at the neighborhood.]
Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it!
Chandler and Monica: No!
Chandler: Ha! I'm just messing with you.
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
Chandler: It's seven years ago. (he looks surprised) My time machine works!
Chandler: Excuse me?
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Chandler: That's great!
Chandler: How did the job stuff go?
Chandler: I said it first, bro.
Chandler: How did the job stuff go?
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
[Flashback scene from last week, Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there.]
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Chandler: I see.
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
Chandler: Well, it makes me feel sad, but...
Chandler: What do you think Pheebs?
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: You're kidding!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's reading a newspaper. Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Chandler: Oh yeah?