words in movies
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.
Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!
Chandler: Not a one.
Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: Yuh-huh.
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?
Chandler: There you go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Chandler: Here we go.
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?
Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.
Chandler: That's great.
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Chandler: That's it?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Chandler: I'm fine.
Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Chandler: How do you do that?
Chandler: We should always always break up together.
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled). Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair)?
Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Chandler: What?!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Danielle: (entering) Chandler?
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.
Chandler: What are you doing here?
Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.
Chandler: ...I dunno.
Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!
Chandler: Okay.
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your monkey. (She starts to shut the door)
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
Chandler: Will power? I�ve watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
Chandler: Might wanna try Joseph.
Chandler: Joe...Joe...Joe...Stalin?
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me...
(Helens buzzer is heard on the intercom, so Chandler presses his button, too.)
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya.
Chandler: So what does this mean?
RACHEL: Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Chandler: Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation?
Chandler: Dont worry about it. Im taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
(Ross and Chandler laughs)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Work people? Nobody told me.
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: You think I should?
Chandler: Then, I don't get it.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
Chandler: They do?
Chandler: But I just wa...
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)
Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend.
(Chandler struts out from his apartment)
Chandler: (investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!
Chandler: Okay, hating this.
Chandler: Here we go, here we go.
Chandler: Yeah, like in a cab...
(Ross and Chandler look at each other and hug as well.)
Chandler: You have to pick your moments.
Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?
Ross: Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.
Chandler: She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that.
Chandler: (stuttering incoherently) F-hah.... flennin....
Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.
(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)
Chandler: Its yelling bleeding dilating. Oh, the dilating
Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Chandler: No, no, no.
Chandler: You'll get one.
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Chandler: Where have you been?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Chandler: �Pudo aver sido General Tso! (It could've been General Sal!)
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Chandler: Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?