words in movies
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.
Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!
Chandler: Not a one.
Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: Yuh-huh.
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?
Chandler: There you go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Chandler: Here we go.
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?
Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.
Chandler: That's great.
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Chandler: That's it?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Chandler: I'm fine.
Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Chandler: How do you do that?
Chandler: We should always always break up together.
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!
Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.
Chandler: (nervous) My duties? (Trying not to crack a joke) All right.
Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?
Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.
Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.
Chandler: Now this feels like Thanksgiving.
Chandler: Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?
Chandler: Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...
Chandler: Here, here!
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!
Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is pounding out the hinge pins on the closet door to get it open.]
Chandler: Too many jokes... must mock Joey!
Chandler: Aah, y'killing me!
Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
Chandler: Could you not narrate?
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
Chandler: Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with?
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Chandler: Yeah, we played, we watched TV.. that juggling thing is amazing.
Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Monica: Chandlers making his sex face.
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler: I dont have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
Chandler: Kill me. Kill me now.
Chandler: (Imitating) But you found me!
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Chandler: Alright, somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me, it's midnight! Somebody kiss me!
Chandler: I'm sorry you misunderstood...
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing?
Chandler: THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride.
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.
Chandler: I know I am.
[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Chandler: Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen.
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
(Chandler opens the door and startles them. He picks up the paper)
Chandler: What are you guys doing out here?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?!
Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?
Chandler: You gotta let me slam the door! (Leaves; slams the door)
Chandler: I'm still mad at you for not telling me.
Chandler: Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
Chandler: What was that?
(Enter Chandler)
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Chandler: That's very funny. We done now?
Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]
Chandler: Really stupid.
Chandler: Yeah. No. No...
Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Chandler: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Nice save.
Chandler: To the bathroom!
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.
Chandler: ...Dinah?