words in movies
Chandler: Thanks!
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Chandler: So excited about your letter!
Chandler: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?
Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Chandler: That's where people make number two!!
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Chandler: (reading) I don’t... uh... understand.
Chandler: On every word?
Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Chandler: I doubt that! Tell her about us last year.
Monica: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
Chandler: Word!
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Monica: I proposed to Chandler! (Phoebe stops herself from laughing) Alright, moving on...
Chandler: Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing!
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?
Chandler: Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think?
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Chandler: Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming?
(Chandler and Monica look shocked)
Chandler: Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
Chandler: (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).
Chandler: (Still looks confused) They loved it.
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Chandler: She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.
Chandler: That sounds like fun.
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Ross: Hey guys. Monica and Chandler: Hi Ross.
Chandler: Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Chandler: Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects!
Chandler: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die.
Chandler: It's throwing and catching!
Chandler: All right, let me in. (He jumps off of the counter to join in the game.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: So you don't get paid unless the movie makes money?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Chandler: Okay!
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!
Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first.
Chandler: All right, bye-bye now!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: (laughing) Okay. (Deadpan) But it is officially nighttime.
Chandler: Too dry.
Chandler: I don't know.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Isn't that Ross's money?
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Yes.
Chandler: Look Joe, I just, I just don't want to get your hopes up real high.
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Chandler: No! (Realizes) Ahhh!!!
Chandler: I also said, "Yes!"
Chandler: Oh, you don't want me on the trip?
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Chandler: All right, fine! Fine! Why don't you pull over? I'll get out right now!
Chandler: You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge.
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Chandler: Oh! Oh! That's so hard. (Starts to juggle the ball, but loses control and almost drops it and hands it to Monica.)
Chandler: Here you go. (Hands her the money.) Now stop bringing us pizzas you.
Chandler: That's a good idea. I wonder where I could (Pause) get a basket of porn
Chandler: Awesome!
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
[Cut to Chandler]
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: I'm not a dropper!
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Okay.
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
Chandler: Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow!
Chandler: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Chandler: Do we have to?
Chandler: Yes.
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Chandler: (after they've left) Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!!
Chandler: It's a great idea. (They kiss)
Chandler: Y'know Pheebs, it's kinda our (His and Monica's) anniversary.
Chandler: I don't know, I'm very tired.
Chandler: I said art lover.
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Chandler: So it's pretty much the same Pheebs.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess it's a little better now.
Chandler: Can I give you a present now?
Chandler: What-what Richard thing?
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Chandler: What Richard thing?
Chandler: How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out?
Chandler: (talking out of the side of his mouth) I'm not mad.
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah, so you-you bumped into Richard! You grabbed a bite! It's no big deal. (He still ain't happy.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Why?! What happened?!
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.