words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
Chandler: I could die.
(Ross glares at Chandler.)
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.
Chandler: Hey! (Phoebe sneezes)
Chandler: All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice?
Chandler: (gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Chandler: Uh Kathy, with K or a C?
Chandler: Oh-oh-hey!
Chandler: Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here.
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Chandler: Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
Chandler: Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over the remote.
Chandler: Oh my God! That's why I got up too!
Chandler: Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've...
Chandler: So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.
Chandler: That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him.
Chandler: Is it on?
Chandler: Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)
Chandler: Oh! It's on! It's on!
(Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down. The chick starts chirping and Chandler reaches down to pick him up.)
Chandler: There we go little fella.
Chandler: Well the duck can swim.
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty.
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
Chandler: No, I don't.
Phoebe: Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.
Chandler: Thank you, Ross.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: All right.
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Kathy: Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"
Chandler: Okay. (He walks away disgusted with himself.)
Chandler: (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!
Kathy: (to Chandler) We were just talking about you.
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with the chick and the duck.]
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Chandler: Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate.
Chandler: Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.
Chandler: You-you do?
Chandler: You got me.
Chandler: Yeah. Right.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
Kathy: (to Chandler) So? Huh? What do you think?
Chandler: Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
Chandler: Uhh, no-no thanks.
Chandler: Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. (Leaves)
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Joey: (opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
Chandler: Okay.
(Phoebe mocks what Monica just said. Ross pulls Chandler aside.)
Chandler: Im sorry youre here with me instead of Roger.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are eating Monicas dinner.]
Chandler: Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy?
Chandler: Okay. (Pause.) What was tonight?
Chandler: Four different women! Ive had sex way more times!
Chandler: What was tonight?
Chandler: Hey thats what I tell girls about me.
Chandler: So was I.
Chandler: (smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do".
Chandler: Okay. (They both realize what he just said.)
Monica: Chandler, Im gonna die a virgin!
Chandler: Shes shhing me! Its my phone and shes shhing me!
Chandler: I do like that.
Chandler: Stop it! Were doing this! Lets do it!
Chandler: We cant do this.
Chandler: Hey, will you grab me a cruller? (Joey starts to groan and get up.) Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?!
Chandler: Okay! (They both get up.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: I have some moves.
Chandler: Yeah, lets just forget it.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Oh yeah.
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: Oh, okay! (He rolls over to do that again.)
Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler has the tape measure out and is busy lining up the lamp on the kitchen counter, Ross is supervising the whole operation.]
Chandler: Oh you wouldnt uh, care. Its just a stupid comic book story.
Chandler: (sexily) Yeah?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: We got some Vap-O-Rub in some places.
Chandler: So you uh, want to do something tonight?
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Chandler: Yeah! Totally! Totally, and you?
Chandler: I bet he can.
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Chandler: Hey, buddy boy, howd the audition go?
Chandler: I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.
Chandler: (sticking his head in the door) Okay to come in?
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Because you shouldnt be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.
Chandler: Yeah I know, guess who beeped him?
Chandler: Oh yeah.
Chandler: No, there were two.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: I see where youre goin!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
Chandler: (reminiscing) Ah, finally an explanation.
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Chandler: Ahh, ooh, try a hard 8.
Chandler: Hm-hmm. (Goes to take another bite.)
Chandler: Hey-hey, is Monica here?
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Chandler: I made a (Does one of those gibberish words.)
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
Chandler: Nothing!
Chandler: Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Im going crazy! Okay? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade?
Chandler: Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for thisAh-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! Youre the worst best man ever!
Chandler: I cant figure out what to make Monica.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, continued from earlier. Monica and Chandler are still discussing the previous question.]
Chandler: Hey! Hi! You uh, ready to exchange gifts?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Chandler: Okay, come here! Come here.
Chandler: Now, its not wrapped because I just, just finished it.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Not really.
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Bathroom, Chandler and Monica are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.]
Chandler: Oop!
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (approaching) Here you go Joe, heres the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. (Hands it to him.)
Chandler: You have done enough!
Chandler: Who the hell is Carl?!
Chandler: No you dontget it in black, not brown.
Chandler: Well, its like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake.
(Chandler escorts Monica down the aisle.)
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
Chandler: Oh, the mixed tape.
Chandler: Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now.