words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
Chandler: I could die.
(Ross glares at Chandler.)
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.
Chandler: Hey! (Phoebe sneezes)
Chandler: All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice?
Chandler: (gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Chandler: Uh Kathy, with K or a C?
Chandler: Oh-oh-hey!
Chandler: Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here.
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Chandler: Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
Chandler: Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over the remote.
Chandler: Oh my God! That's why I got up too!
Chandler: Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've...
Chandler: So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.
Chandler: That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him.
Chandler: Is it on?
Chandler: Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)
Chandler: Oh! It's on! It's on!
(Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down. The chick starts chirping and Chandler reaches down to pick him up.)
Chandler: There we go little fella.
Chandler: Well the duck can swim.
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty.
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
Chandler: No, I don't.
Phoebe: Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.
Chandler: Thank you, Ross.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: All right.
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Kathy: Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"
Chandler: Okay. (He walks away disgusted with himself.)
Chandler: (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!
Kathy: (to Chandler) We were just talking about you.
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with the chick and the duck.]
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Chandler: Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate.
Chandler: Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.
Chandler: You-you do?
Chandler: You got me.
Chandler: Yeah. Right.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
Kathy: (to Chandler) So? Huh? What do you think?
Chandler: Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
Chandler: Uhh, no-no thanks.
Chandler: Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. (Leaves)
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Joey: (opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
Chandler: All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away!
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Chandler: Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Chandler: Ye-ye-yeah, yes I do!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[Chandler is mega shocked!]
Chandler: Thank you!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
Chandler: Hey Joe whats up?
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?
Chandler: I dont think so.
Chandler: Howdy.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, Im right here.
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Chandler: What? Thats terrible!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Rachel: Chandler, arent you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Chandler: What?
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: If I help, we can find em faster!
Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!
Chandler: Those are my gifts, I got them for you.
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Doug: Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh!
Chandler: Who did you originally want to hook up with?
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Chandler: Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Chandler: Oh, hey guys!
Chandler: All right, y'know what, we've been talking about London too much haven't we?
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Oh great!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay!
Phoebe: Oh, this ones for Chandler. Here.
Chandler: Wait, we cant do this.
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Fine!
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Chandler: So shes just waiting over there for ya?
Chandler: Thats great!
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Chandler: Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding?
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Chandler: You made pottery?
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Chandler: So you kissed her, so what happened after that?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Chandler: Look at us, were a couple of couples!
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Chandler: Yeah all right. (They part.) Okay, good night guys.
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Chandler: (reading it) Elizabeth Hornswoggle?
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Chandler: Oh thats too bad.
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Chandler: Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!
Chandler: So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Chandler, would you like some more orange juice?