words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
Chandler: I could die.
(Ross glares at Chandler.)
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.
Chandler: Hey! (Phoebe sneezes)
Chandler: All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice?
Chandler: (gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Chandler: Uh Kathy, with K or a C?
Chandler: Oh-oh-hey!
Chandler: Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here.
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Chandler: Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
Chandler: Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over the remote.
Chandler: Oh my God! That's why I got up too!
Chandler: Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've...
Chandler: So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.
Chandler: That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him.
Chandler: Is it on?
Chandler: Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)
Chandler: Oh! It's on! It's on!
(Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down. The chick starts chirping and Chandler reaches down to pick him up.)
Chandler: There we go little fella.
Chandler: Well the duck can swim.
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty.
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
Chandler: No, I don't.
Phoebe: Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.
Chandler: Thank you, Ross.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: All right.
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Kathy: Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"
Chandler: Okay. (He walks away disgusted with himself.)
Chandler: (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!
Kathy: (to Chandler) We were just talking about you.
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with the chick and the duck.]
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Chandler: Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate.
Chandler: Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.
Chandler: You-you do?
Chandler: You got me.
Chandler: Yeah. Right.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
Kathy: (to Chandler) So? Huh? What do you think?
Chandler: Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
Chandler: Uhh, no-no thanks.
Chandler: Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. (Leaves)
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Joey: (opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
(Everyone clinks glasses and Chandler freaks out again.)
Chandler: This is going in your book?
Chandler: No, the little girl creeps me out.
Chandler: Why would the baby creep me out?
Chandler: Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby.
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
CHANDLER: Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Chandler: Who?
Chandler: Yeah, you wish. (Stops to think about it and gets depressed.)
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: Oh-oh.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Chandler: Hmm.
Chandler: (singing) Ground control to Major Tom! Commencing countdown engines on!
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Chandler: We said seven!
Chandler: The only way that I said six would be if the sevens, let meet at seven, not at six.
Chandler: (disgusted) What does it say?!
Chandler: Oh my good God.
Chandler: What?!
Monica: Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six.
Chandler: So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
Chandler: (To Monica) I told you I should not wear this color. (Hes wearing a reddish-orange sweater.)
Chandler: (whispering in Joeys ear) The reason he just said.
Chandler: Oh Im so sorry man! Is there anything I can do?
[Scene: Joeys Dressing Room, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: (To Ross) Smooth.
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Chandler: Hi, how are ya?
Chandler: Yeah, Ive been there my friend.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler)
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Chandler: Ill give up my ticket.
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Kristen: (To Chandler) Excuse me? (Chandler does the shy thing again.)
Chandler: Ross.
Chandler: Secret? Married people arent supposed to have secrets between one another. We have too much love and respect for one another.
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Chandler: They couldnt be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last night, just trying to get him to talk to me.
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Chandler: Oh since forever! I used to go all over town listening to bands!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball and Joey scores a goal.]
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He lets the machine answer it.]
Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groomNo! Not the groom!!
Chandler: (gets up) See you later. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Because it's complicated, it's complex- Hey, you kissed my mom!
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?!
Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, its bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God!
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)
Chandler: Yeah, its beautiful.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Totally.
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesnt mean anything, because you know that Im just not ready
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
Chandler: No, I dont want to tell anybody else because I dont want Monica to find out.
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Chandler: Me too.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Oh all right.
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
Chandler: (quickly) H-He's in China!
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what-what was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off before?
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
Ross: (deadpan) Well, Im going to take off. (To Chandler) Congratulations man.
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Chandler: Yknow, Im so glad I picked you to help me with this.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
Chandler: Uh-uh, yes. I would like to see that ring please.
Phoebe: Chandler, I-I will handle this! (To the jeweler) How much is it?
Chandler: (choking up) Oh my God thats it, thats the ring! How much is it?
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, Ill go get it. You guard the ring.
Chandler: Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you hold out that ring and ask me to marry you?
Chandler: Yes! Yes, but I can only pay $8,000.
Ross: Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: No, did he hug you?!
Paul: Hey Chandler?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is still crying as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads.
Chandler: Im a little busy here Paul.
Phoebe: Chandler, I found the perfect ring. (Holding it out for her.)