words in movies
Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the same thing!
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
Chandler: (pointing at himself) Little people?
Chandler: What...? NO!
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Chandler: Ok, ok, here we go.
Chandler: Here we go. Stand up straight. (smiling) Big smile. (opens the door and both are smiling exaggeratedly)
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Chandler: But you already gave all your money to charity!
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Chandler: That’s sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Chandler: But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Of course it was!
Chandler: RAT BASTARD!
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Chandler: Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
Chandler: (Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Chandler: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!
Chandler: Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.
Chandler: (nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Chandler: What the hell are you doing?
Chandler: Well, we're not.
Chandler: We don't have a code word.
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Chandler: Any room that isn't behind this couch! (laughs nervously)
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Chandler: Ok!
(Joey leaves and closes the door behind him. Chandler walks towards the living room, but then Joey enters again.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat)
Joey: (to Chandler) Bert! Bert! Bert! Bert!
Chandler: I can explain... Joey...
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Chandler: Oh, that's really ok.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are sitting in their living room when the phone rings.]
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Chandler: Wrong number?
Chandler: That's great!
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Chandler: Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat?
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Chandler: Me too.
Chandler: You mean like this? (he starts touching his thigh in a funny and awkard way)
(Chandler enters)
Chandler: So, what do you say? Can you get out of work?
Chandler: What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont (shows them a brochure)!
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Chandler: I don't have travel insurance.
Chandler: Are you really that busy?
Rachel: (interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking!
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
Chandler: New York.
Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.
Chandler: Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation.
Chandler: And, a lemon lime.
Chandler: That's insane!
Chandler: Just give us the cheapest room you have.
Chandler: Well, that's impossible, can you check again, please?
Chandler: Dude, you're shaking!
Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.
Chandler: (aside, to Ross) What!? They are totally ripping us off!
Chandler: It�s like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama!
(Chandler enters the room)
Chandler: USA Today
Chandler: And I also got... two more apples.
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Thank you, thank you very much!
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.]
Chandler: Ok, how about this (picks up the remote control)?
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
(Chandler drifts off and his arm slips off the table and he wakes back up.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax.
Chandler: Look, we have enough, just walk away.
Chandler: Ok, go quick!
Chandler: Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps.
[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his mouth.]
Chandler: There's a forest right outside.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
[Scene: Tulsa, a conference room. Chandler is chairing a group of eight people.]
Chandler: Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top.
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table)
Chandler: I could fall asleep at a play.
Chandler: I also got this great salt and pepper shaker from the restaurant.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.
Chandler: (to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Monica: (to chandler) Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.
Chandler: A tall guy with hair similar to mine, oh unknowable universe!
Monica: (Shocked) Oh my God! Chandler!
Chandler: Where the hell is everybody?
[Scene: The theater. Chandler is sitting in the otherwise empty front row, looking around nervously]
(She heads for the kitchen and Chandler watches her leave and admires the view.)
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."
[Scene: Chandler in the theater]
Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely.
Chandler: (To himself) oh yes, God yes!!
Chandler: (to Monica) So, how did you enjoy the play?
(Chandler walks in)
Chandler: Well you should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater.
Chandler: Did somebody sign your bra?
Rachel: Please, what about you and Chandler?
Phoebe: Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.
Chandler: I missed most of the party (pause) Charlie's a girl, right?
Chandler: (to Joey) So, a professor, uh?
Chandler: We really need to take those tests?
Chandler: Oh, yeah?
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
Chandler: It's weird! In a doctor's office?
Chandler: Oh, yeah! RACHEL TALKS TOO!
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess!
Chandler: Oh, Come on!
Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??
Chandler: Why are you here?
Chandler: What!?
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Chandler: (disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves)
Chandler: Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mineby plucking the eyebrows of my father and his �business� partners.
Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that.
[Scene: The Fertility Clinic; Chandler walks out one of the rooms]
Chandler: Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over!
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Chandler: Okay, so, I'm in Las Vegas... I'm Liza Minelli-
[Cut to the city street. Monica and Chandler are jogging. Chandler is lagging behind so he hops in a cab and takes off, leaving Monica behind]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper.]
Chandler: Doctor Connelly just called.
Chandler: I'm sorry.
Monica: Chandler?