words in movies
Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the same thing!
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
Chandler: (pointing at himself) Little people?
Chandler: What...? NO!
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Chandler: Ok, ok, here we go.
Chandler: Here we go. Stand up straight. (smiling) Big smile. (opens the door and both are smiling exaggeratedly)
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Chandler: But you already gave all your money to charity!
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Chandler: That’s sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Chandler: But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Of course it was!
Chandler: RAT BASTARD!
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Chandler: Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
Chandler: (Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Chandler: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!
Chandler: Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.
Chandler: (nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Chandler: What the hell are you doing?
Chandler: Well, we're not.
Chandler: We don't have a code word.
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Chandler: Any room that isn't behind this couch! (laughs nervously)
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Chandler: Ok!
(Joey leaves and closes the door behind him. Chandler walks towards the living room, but then Joey enters again.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat)
Joey: (to Chandler) Bert! Bert! Bert! Bert!
Chandler: I can explain... Joey...
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Chandler: Oh, that's really ok.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are sitting in their living room when the phone rings.]
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Chandler: Wrong number?
Chandler: That's great!
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Chandler: Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat?
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: Oh relax man, relax. Youre looking a little flushed.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Chandler: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Yknow, that party wasnt bad.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hop on.
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Chandler: Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Chandler: (pause) I dont have your boots.
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Chandler: Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)
Chandler: Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
Chandler: Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Monica: (to the boots) Bye bootsWait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Chandler: Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Chandler: No.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Doug is entering.]
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
Chandler: Well now-now youre just talking crazy.
Chandler: Because uh we-we we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Should we call the spitter?
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Chandler: Hi honey Im home.
Chandler: Ooh, I dont know if were there yet.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Chandler: Oh, okay.
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Chandler: I kinda like it here.
Chandler: Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?
Chandler: Well what did it do?
Chandler: Bravo Dennis thanks for pleasing my mother so.
Chandler: A vending machine?
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Monica: Chandler! Phoebes hogging the game!
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
Chandler: Who cares? Its a stupid game.
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Monica: Chandler! Hes seven; hes not stupid.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
Chandler: Because its awesome.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Chandler: With the claw?!
Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today?
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Chandler: (smiles) Pull my finger(Looks at his hand)My hand is messed up.
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Chandler: Look, when Ive been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and Im sorry.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
Chandler: All right! Go left! Go left! Go right!! Go right!!
Chandler: I will explain it to her.