words in movies
Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the same thing!
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
Chandler: (pointing at himself) Little people?
Chandler: What...? NO!
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Chandler: Ok, ok, here we go.
Chandler: Here we go. Stand up straight. (smiling) Big smile. (opens the door and both are smiling exaggeratedly)
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Chandler: But you already gave all your money to charity!
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Chandler: That’s sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Chandler: But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Of course it was!
Chandler: RAT BASTARD!
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Chandler: Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
Chandler: (Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Chandler: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!
Chandler: Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.
Chandler: (nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Chandler: What the hell are you doing?
Chandler: Well, we're not.
Chandler: We don't have a code word.
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Chandler: Any room that isn't behind this couch! (laughs nervously)
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Chandler: Ok!
(Joey leaves and closes the door behind him. Chandler walks towards the living room, but then Joey enters again.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat)
Joey: (to Chandler) Bert! Bert! Bert! Bert!
Chandler: I can explain... Joey...
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Chandler: Oh, that's really ok.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are sitting in their living room when the phone rings.]
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Chandler: Wrong number?
Chandler: That's great!
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Chandler: Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat?
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Chandler: Alright, somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me, it's midnight! Somebody kiss me!
Chandler: I'm sorry you misunderstood...
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing?
Chandler: THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride.
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.
Chandler: I know I am.
[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Chandler: Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen.
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
(Chandler opens the door and startles them. He picks up the paper)
Chandler: What are you guys doing out here?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?!
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?
Chandler: You gotta let me slam the door! (Leaves; slams the door)
Chandler: I'm still mad at you for not telling me.
Chandler: Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
Chandler: What was that?
(Enter Chandler)
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Chandler: That's very funny. We done now?
Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]
Chandler: Really stupid.
Chandler: Yeah. No. No...
Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Chandler: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Nice save.
Chandler: To the bathroom!
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Chandler: ...Dinah?
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, we're done.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Chandler: Mento?
Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table)
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Oh, no-
Chandler: Shall I carve?
Chandler: Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle self-loathing touch.
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Chandler: What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that?
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Chandler: I'm not moving out.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Chandler: Aw, don't do that
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Chandler: More coffee over here, please!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
Chandler: So what are you gonna do?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Chandler: You pick one.
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Chandler: No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are.
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Chandler: I know!
Chandler: I can't believe you did this. (Walks toward the door)
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!