words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh my God! Play!
Chandler: Really, bitchin!
Chandler: You mean like, music?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Yasmein Bleeth running on TV, and the duck starts quacking.]
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Chandler: Come in!
Chandler: Uh yes, but uh, I just watch it for the articles.
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Chandler: What happened?
Chandler: Why cant you tell her?
Chandler: Joey! Joey!!
Chandler: I thought your time ran out.
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
Chandler: and then it got canceled.
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Chandler: Dog grooming huh? Okay, just dont make my tail too poofy.
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
(Kathy leans in really close and Chandler mouths "Oh my God." She moves around in front of him and kneels at his feet.)
Chandler: What-what cha doin?
Chandler: Kay.
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Chandler: Yeah. Yes! Yeah.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Chandler: Oh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Chandler: Wait the uh, the kiss or the situation?
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Chandler: Okay, we-we swallow our feelings. Even if it means were unhappy forever. Sound good?
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh-no-no-no! Dont! Dont! See-see, youre getting me confused, Im starting to urn.
Chandler: I-I think we have too.
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: I sure did.
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
Chandler: Well, yknow Im 29. I mean who needs a savings account.
Chandler: Oh, I dont know.
Chandler: You mean with Casey.
Chandler: Or Casey.
Chandler: Could be Casey.
Chandler: Consider Casey.
Chandler: That all the pieces of my life are falling right into place!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Chandler: I kissed Kathy.
Chandler: No. Is there anyway, anyway you think hell understand this?
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Chandler: God!! (Sits down in disgust.) What am I gonna do?!
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Chandler: Why?! Why do I have to tell him?!
Chandler: Yeah, I know.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Oh uh, when?
Chandler: Oh man, I am so sorry. Are, are you okay?
Chandler: Yes, but I-I uh, dont have too.
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Chandler: No! No! No! I just kissed her.
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Chandler: Look, Im sorry! But theres nothing I can do, I think Im in love with her!
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Chandler: Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Chandler: Probably because
Chandler: (stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Ooh, I do! I do! I do!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Chandler and Joey: Nice!
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla!
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Phoebe: Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Phoebe: So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?
Chandler: So what happened?
Chandler: Oh hey, how'd the interview go?
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Rachel: Thanks Chandler.
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Chandler: Well you coulda tried, not kissing him.
Chandler: Come on, Rach.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler makes a noise) No?
Chandler: Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head.
Chandler: (To Gary) So what do you say, maybe sometime I hold your gun?
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Ohh, so?
Chandler: Uh, yeah.
Monica: Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Chandler: No, you're the best.
Chandler: That was amazing.
Chandler: That was amazing!
Chandler: No, you're the best.
Chandler: Well, my Grandfather was Swedish and my Grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)
Phoebe: You tired Chandler?
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
Chandler: Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?
Monica: Hi Chandler.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Chandler: Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now.
Chandler: (gasps) So?
Chandler: Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about?
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: (entering) You guys ready fore the movies?
Chandler: Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out!
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Chandler: Okay. (He picks the 9 of Spades)
Chandler: Oh yes.
Chandler: (pause) Yes.
Chandler: Hi there!
Chandler: What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!
Chandler: That.
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Chandler: Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme?
Chandler: Dude! That's my girlfriend!
(As they walk out he motions to Chandler that he is still Ben's godfather.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler comes running in. Everyone else is already there.]
(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)
Chandler: Yeah, it is the best.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Chandler: Yeah, I wanna go to babe.
Chandler: Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.
Chandler: Yeah, or you can do the easy thing and smoke.
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
Chandler: Oh, hey! (Ross nods in agreement as well.)
(As they turn the couch, Chandler gets sandwiched between the railing and the couch.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, the games not over, were just switching teams.
Chandler: Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean.
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: Ah sure. What's in 'em?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Joey: What? Chandler! Tell 'em!
Chandler: (shocked) Well I mean, let me get the door first. (Goes and opens the door.) Oh, hi! No one. (Exits.)
Chandler: Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Yes you did! You look happy and sick; you smoked!
Chandler: I wish I had smoked for my career
Chandler: I think you smell great! (He sniffs her shoulder.)
Chandler: (wincing) Yes, he is!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Chandler: Great job with the cups, Pheebs!
(Chandler starts to follow her into the kitchen.)
(Everyone stops and looks at Chandler, who's nodding.)
Chandler: Thank you! Thank you! (Runs to the snow cone machine.)
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Chandler: Okay, great.
Chandler: Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
Chandler: I'll catch you guys later. (Exits.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!