words in movies
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
[Chandler closes up the laptop computer screen.]
[Chandler rips off the sheet of paper from the printer.]
RACH: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
[Chandler and Joey leave quickly.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Chandler: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
Monica: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: No way! If anything youve gotta let me win! My wife thinks Im a wimp!
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Chandler: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]
Chandler: Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
Chandler: Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
Chandler: Noo!
Chandler: 8. 8!
Chandler: Okay, ah umm, ah, a 8. Ah, a 6?
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Chandler: Another hard 8.
Chandler: (sees the roll) Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about!
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: (spots one) Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one?
Chandler: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: Yes! I love you! I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Monica: Nobody move! (To Chandler) Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way!
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Chandler: It's a four.
Chandler: Two fours.
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: I don't think so.
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Chandler: ADRIENNE TURNER!! (A girl behind them turns around)
Chandler: Hello! One marriage please!
(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, whos a little angry.)
Chandler and Monica: All right.
Chandler: (singing) Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Why did you take the shower curtain down?
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
(Chandler and Monica are stunned again.)
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: We actually missed it.
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.
Chandler: Hi!
(Chandler and Monica enter.)
Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you.
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
[Chandler and Phoebe feign ignorance.]
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: (returning with Joey) Hi.
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Chandler: (not quite sure) You did.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Chandler: I dont know. But I-I-I know I love you!
Chandler: Sounds great.
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, yes eight.
Chandler: Ready!
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) Were doing the right thing, right?
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Chandler: Well you did pull his hair.
Chandler: Im not getting into this again!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right!
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Chandler: Or we can do the actual telephone thing.
CHANDLER: Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)