words in movies
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
[Chandler closes up the laptop computer screen.]
[Chandler rips off the sheet of paper from the printer.]
RACH: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
[Chandler and Joey leave quickly.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
Chandler: Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story.
Chandler: I can't believe she can out run you man!
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
Chandler: Oh that's not true.
Chandler: And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back.
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Chandler: Really? Male nurses?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters.]
[Cut to the kitchen, Ross and Chandler are doing the dishes.]
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Ross: (entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)
Chandler: Hey, Pheebs!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
Chandler: So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
Chandler: Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now!
Chandler: Atlantic City!
Chandler: I know, it's beautiful. Amazing.
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Okay. (They kiss again.)
Chandler: (sarcasticly) Thanks Joey, that's a good idea.
Chandler: That's right.
(Monica and Chandler come running in.)
Chandler: Oh no.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Did he just say, he loves Fonzie?
Chandler: Hey! You okay?
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
Chandler: All right
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Chandler: Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
Chandler: Dude, don't do that too me!
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
[Scene: The waiting room, Chandler is looking for Monica.]
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Fine! Maybe I will too!
Chandler: (spotting her) Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are!
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Hey!
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Chandler: All right. Very good.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: What's up with the simian?
Chandler: Okay, keep saying it!
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Chandler: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Chandler: Really? Okay, so
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
(Dan leaves as Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Right!
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux!
Chandler: Dog grooming huh? Okay, just dont make my tail too poofy.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?
(Chandler is quite pleased with that statement.)
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)