words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Chandler: Okay, Im not gonna have one.
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.]
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Chandler: Why not?!
Chandler: What is the thing?
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.
Chandler: Yeah, well, youre wrong! Okay, youre wrong.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Chandler: Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
Chandler: No! In his office! How many kisses were there?
Chandler: Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!
Chandler: (giving her a bag) Here.
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Chandler: I dont know, y'know. What, what, would you do?
Chandler: Come on, tell me.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.]
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Chandler: Then dont leave me!
Chandler: Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Chandler: Ohhh. Dont go.
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Chandler: No. No! No! No!
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
Janice: Good-bye Chandler Bing. (walks out with one shoe)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is listening to a Lionel Richie album]
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
Chandler and Phoebe: Ill be a fool for you. Im sure, you know I dont mind.
Chandler: (high pitched) No you know I dont mind.
Chandler and Phoebe: Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh...
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Ive found.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Chandler: But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: So?!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (initially worried, but gets over it) Really?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Chandler: Oh, tell her good luck with that.
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
Chandler: Oh thats so funny because we found someone too.
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Chandler: (To Monica) All yours babe. (Walks away.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Chandler: A face ass?
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Chandler: Our guy smells incredible.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Chandler: Well, you dont look good Joe.
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Chandler: Our new fridge? I dont live here anymore.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Chandler: Just tell her the truth! Tell her youre not ready.
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Monica: Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandlers work!
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Chandler: Are you funny?
Chandler: Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible!
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Chandler: Okay, so you will meet our guys?
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
Chandler: (To Ross) Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say?
Chandler: Well, maybe you dont marry this one.
Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)
Chandler: Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Chandler: Its a sock bunny.
Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: You know the hotels?
All: (Chandler stops her) No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat!
Chandler: (panicked) ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Good-good-good-good.
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Chandler: Oh, ok.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Chandler: Do you want me to call?
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Chandler: Oh, are we playing this?!
Chandler: So it did go well.
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Chandler: As crazy as soccer?
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Chandler: I messed up. Okay? Im sorry, I really messed up.