words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Chandler: Okay, Im not gonna have one.
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.]
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Chandler: Why not?!
Chandler: What is the thing?
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.
Chandler: Yeah, well, youre wrong! Okay, youre wrong.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Chandler: Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
Chandler: No! In his office! How many kisses were there?
Chandler: Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!
Chandler: (giving her a bag) Here.
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Chandler: I dont know, y'know. What, what, would you do?
Chandler: Come on, tell me.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.]
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Chandler: Then dont leave me!
Chandler: Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Chandler: Ohhh. Dont go.
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Chandler: No. No! No! No!
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
Janice: Good-bye Chandler Bing. (walks out with one shoe)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is listening to a Lionel Richie album]
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
Chandler and Phoebe: Ill be a fool for you. Im sure, you know I dont mind.
Chandler: (high pitched) No you know I dont mind.
Chandler and Phoebe: Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh...
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Ive found.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Chandler: You can always sell your baby.
Joey: Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. Im the chick and Chandler is the duck.
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: No, wed just like to close them.
Chandler: I wanna quit the bank!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Chandler: It still wouldnt be clean. (Rachel makes an Eww, disgusting! face) All I want is my freedom.
Chandler: To pay for the gym.
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Chandler: Hey.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Chandler: Okay, two, three years of rent, utilities, food
[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
CHANDLER: Now I know it's been awhile, but I took it as a good sign.
Chandler: Hey! (Phoebe sneezes)
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
Chandler: I could die.
(Ross glares at Chandler.)
Chandler: (gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.
Chandler: All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice?
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Chandler: Oh my God! That's why I got up too!
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Chandler: Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over the remote.
Chandler: Is it on?
Chandler: Oh! It's on! It's on!
Chandler: Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've...
Chandler: There we go little fella.
Chandler: Well the duck can swim.
Phoebe: Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.
Chandler: Thank you, Ross.
Chandler: No, I don't.
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Well, Im so confused as to what weve been doing so far
Chandler: All right.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, thatd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.
CHANDLER: Just tryin' somethin' here, ya know.
Chandler: Say 200?
Chandler: Oh yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but Ive missed the last 1200 times.
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"
Kathy: Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Chandler: Okay. (He walks away disgusted with himself.)
Chandler: (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
Chandler: Really?!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
Kathy: (to Chandler) We were just talking about you.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: You got me.
Monica: We wont. (to Chandler) 300?
Chandler: You-you do?
Joey: Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Chandler: Yeah. Right.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
Kathy: (to Chandler) So? Huh? What do you think?
Chandler: Yeah Bunny-rabbit.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Chandler: Uhh, no-no thanks.
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Chandler: Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. (Leaves)
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
Chandler: Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Chandler: Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Chandler: Yeah, I-I-I think so. (Pauses and thinks about it for a second) Yeah, I-I think so...
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, (claps his hands) banging his hands together!
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Chandler: Okay, so when do you want to go?
Chandler: (confused) Sure...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Rent?
Chandler: A pen.
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Chandler: For three years?