words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Chandler: Okay, Im not gonna have one.
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.]
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Chandler: Why not?!
Chandler: What is the thing?
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.
Chandler: Yeah, well, youre wrong! Okay, youre wrong.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Chandler: Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
Chandler: No! In his office! How many kisses were there?
Chandler: Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!
Chandler: (giving her a bag) Here.
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Chandler: I dont know, y'know. What, what, would you do?
Chandler: Come on, tell me.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.]
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Chandler: Then dont leave me!
Chandler: Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Chandler: Ohhh. Dont go.
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Chandler: No. No! No! No!
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
Janice: Good-bye Chandler Bing. (walks out with one shoe)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is listening to a Lionel Richie album]
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
Chandler and Phoebe: Ill be a fool for you. Im sure, you know I dont mind.
Chandler: (high pitched) No you know I dont mind.
Chandler and Phoebe: Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh...
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Ive found.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Chandler: Yknow I think we should invite them.
Chandler: Well this is just sad!
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is showing Chandler the selection of tuxedos.]
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Chandler: (entering from his room carrying a fire extinguisher and wearing oven mitts) Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluidOp! Op! (He puts out a small fire which has re-ignited in his room.)
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Chandler: You mean like for award shows?
Chandler: Whos that?
Chandler: Okay, who wore those? (Points to the tuxedos.)
Chandler: Are you serious?
Chandler: Not bad.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Chandler: 007?! This is James Bonds tux?!
Chandler: Ive been taking dancing lessons.
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Chandler: What?
Chandler: A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head?
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
(Chandler mimics him.)
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Chandler: SoIf you wear that youll make mine less special.
Chandler: That was pretty 007.
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is blowing out a candle as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Im not your garbage man. Im your mailman.
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Chandler: Ross is Batman!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
Chandler: Ooh, yum! (Runs into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Chandler: Well, does that mean that youre not going to wearing yours?
Chandler: Please, dont take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?!
Helena: (to Chandlers back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Chandler: Do you happen to know what Im going to say?
Chandler: Do you realize you get louder each week?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Chandler: Right. So uh, have you written yours yet?
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big
Chandler: (seeing her) Okay.
Ross: ...everyone, this is Chandler!
Chandler: Yeah, Im not sure I can do that.
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Chandler: (writing) Monica
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Chandler: You'll get one.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Chandler: Nice try.
Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: This is not going to work.
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Chandler: Look, Monica
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Chandler: No I didn't!
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Chandler: Oh my God.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Chandler: I've had a very long, hard day.
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Chandler: Hey Joe!
Chandler: Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then.
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is hooking Chandler up with another tuxedo.]
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
Chandler: It happened in London.
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
Chandler: Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me?
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
Chandler: Phoebe knows about us!