words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Chandler: Hi, my names Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?
Chandler: So, is Janine around?
Chandler: Can I check out what she did to my room?
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Chandler: Yes talk to her. Be a man.
Chandler: Defend yourself.
Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Chandler: Hey, how was your breakfast with Hillary?
Chandler: Ohh, yeah.
Chandler: Thats weird. I dont think my boss likes me either.
Chandler: Yeah lets head off to work.
[Scene; Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch. Ross walks in.]
Chandler and Monica: Hey.
Chandler: You know Oh My God.
Chandler: (Sarcastically) Really.
Chandler: Yeah, what was wrong with your old human teeth.
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
Chandler: Yeah. (Rachel walks in.)
Chandler: What???
Chandler: I am proud of all my friends today.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Chandler: Hi, Im Chandler. Your live-in boy
Monica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
[Scene: Chandlers and Monicas apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.]
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Chandler: Yes, but I feel like Ive really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think were two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.
Chandler: Nah, Nah, its okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.
Chandler: You know when guys hang out they dont just drink some beer and hammer up drywall?
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in. Were knitting pot holders.
Chandler: No thanks, Josephine.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Joey: Ohh, I love birds. (Monica leaves. Chandler shuts the door.)
Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Chandler: Youre turning into a women.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Chandler: So, what do you thing the good news is?
Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? Hes not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys thats like a third or fourth date kinda thing.
Chandler: Oh, so youre going with the teacher, huh?
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are sitting on one of the chairs doing a crossword puzzle.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Monica: Wow! Youre a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was youre trip?
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Chandler: (pleased) Really?!
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Chandler: All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it.
Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Chandler: No sir.
[Joey gets out and sprints to the bathroom and Chandler follows with a cigarette in his hands.]
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Chandler: Well, thats not true, he-he smacked you once.
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Chandler: Excuse me, Doug? (no reaction) Hey there sports fan!!
Chandler: No, I ah, I didnt do them.
Chandler: Doug!!
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
Chandler: That's sweet, Joey.
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are playing with the duck and the chick.]
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Chandler: Thank you, sir.
(Chandler and Joey enter with charcoal.)
Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? < Phoebe comes in>
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad?
Chandler: Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, Ill be your boyfriend.
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Bored and bored!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Chandler: Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.
Chandler: Big bullies!!
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Chandler: Where ya going?
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
Chandler: Ahhhh! (Steps away from her.)
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Chandler: (to the duck) Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! (He goes back into the apartment)
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Joey: Y'know what, hold on, let me go get Chandler. (gets up and leaves.)
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Chandler: (jumping up) Oh, Ill go out and get you some.
Chandler: Excellent hole, Joe.
Chandler: Well, can we help?! You want us to take you back to the house?!
(Monica enters and Chandler screams stuff at the TV.)
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
Chandler: Weve got to do something!
Chandler: Me too!!
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Chandler: Fears and Pet Peeves.
Chandler: (jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!