words in movies
Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today?
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! TV announcer: And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives .
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
<Chandler grabs Joey's left arm and pushes the sleeve up>
Chandler: What are you going to do?
Chandler: Well you proved them wrong.
<Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'>
Monica: Careful. <hands Chandler a china plate> Careful. CAREFUL!
<Chandler is startled and nearly drops the plates.> Sorry.
Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. <looks at china> hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out..
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? < Phoebe comes in>
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Ross: Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Amy: <points to Chandler> This guy? Seriously?
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Chandler: Actually what?
Chandler: What?
<Chandler gives a look that says "Yeah!">
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
Monica opens her front door. Chandler is sitting in the hallway.
Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
Monica and Chandler come through the front door.
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Chandler: By the way, that fight was totally arousing.
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well thanks.
Chandler: Okay, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose.
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Chandler: Nope...
Chandler: Yep...
Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time.
Chandler: Maybe not even then. (Joey walks in)
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey)
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Chandler: Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.
Chandler: Ahh, come on! Yknow whatyknow what, I think Im just gonna go home and call Kathy.
(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too. Y'know if this shirt is dirty. (Smells it.) Yep.
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Chandler: What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Chandler: Sorry man.
Chandler: I know, I can do this. (He takes her hand.)
Chandler: Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party.
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Chandler: No, sir.
Chandler: Oh, that was my work laugh.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
(Chandler does a fake laugh.)
Chandler: Hey! Everybody at work loved you last night!
Chandler: Okay, good luck with that. (Exits.)
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Chandler: Let them win one.
Chandler: Okay, easy Martina. I think we should let them win the next game.
Chandler: You're not even giving them a chance!
Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH MY GOD.
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
Chandler: Long! (Gives Monica the Work Laugh.)
Chandler: Thank you! (They hug.) All right, I gotta go unpack.
Chandler: If we hadn't lost the game they never would've invented us to dinner tomorrow night.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
Chandler: Oopsey, missed it!
Chandler: It was my racquet.
(Chandler cuts in front of her and hits the ball high and long.)
Chandler: Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Chandler: I dont care, this is our apartment! And they stoleyou stole itour apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. Im getting back right now!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Chandler: Oh, you get used to it.
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Chandler: Well, I-I just didn't think it was funny sir.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Well, I just
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
Chandler: Coffee in a fight! (Does the laugh again.)
Chandler: I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
Chandler: But we're not ready to tell yet!
(After she exits, Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Chandler: Why would I be mad?
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
(She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
Chandler: It's your timer.
Chandler: All right, then massage me up right nice!
Chandler: Ah! Ahh!! Ahh!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
Chandler: Done.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Good-bye muscles!!
(Chandler picks up a basket from the table and puts it on his head.)
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!
Chandler: So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal?
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
Chandler: And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it downlet's write it down!
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know?
Chandler: And a date with a man!
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
Chandler: Okay, but after that, were shootin some pool.
Chandler: (falling into that trap) I don't like your massages.
Chandler: Hey, is Rachel here?
Chandler: You built a fort didn't ya?