words in movies
Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today?
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! TV announcer: And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives .
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
<Chandler grabs Joey's left arm and pushes the sleeve up>
Chandler: What are you going to do?
Chandler: Well you proved them wrong.
<Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'>
Monica: Careful. <hands Chandler a china plate> Careful. CAREFUL!
<Chandler is startled and nearly drops the plates.> Sorry.
Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. <looks at china> hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out..
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? < Phoebe comes in>
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Ross: Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Amy: <points to Chandler> This guy? Seriously?
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Chandler: Actually what?
Chandler: What?
<Chandler gives a look that says "Yeah!">
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
Monica opens her front door. Chandler is sitting in the hallway.
Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
Monica and Chandler come through the front door.
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Chandler: By the way, that fight was totally arousing.
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well thanks.
Chandler: Okay, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose.
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Chandler: Nope...
Chandler: Yep...
Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time.
Chandler: Maybe not even then. (Joey walks in)
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Who was it?
Chandler: Sure!
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Chandler: So, thats it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Chandler: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Chandler: Oh yeah. First off all, chasing the Churo guy isn't jogging.
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Chandler: Yeah. O-okay.
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh, whats the matter?
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Chandler: Oh hi!
Chandler: Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Thats the way I did it til I was 19.
Chandler: Why dont you open with a joke?
Chandler: All right.
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Chandler: Whos number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Chandler: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Chandler: Thats a hernia.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
Chandler: Like an eclipse.
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! Youre very brave.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Chandler: Listen, Im really glad you got the part.
Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again?!
(Chandler steps away quickly.)
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
(Chandler decides to help out.)
Chandler: See Joe, we want you to tell stories but yknow, romantic stories. Nice stories.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
Chandler: Oh, all right.
Chandler: Technically we could have sex again. What do you think, bossy and domineering?!
Chandler: What?
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.
Chandler: (not enthused) Yeah, all right.
Chandler: Oh, come on! You've been acting strange all day!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Chandler: Joe?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Chandler: And?
Chandler: There you are.
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Chandler: Okay, Im a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
CHANDLER: I can't believe we're doing this.
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Chandler: That is true.
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Chandler: Okay, listen this really hurts. Lets go.
Chandler: I think thats gum.
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Dont you give me any of yourHey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Chandler: First of the month.
Chandler: No, just the months you actually want to live here.
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Chandler: Its not charity, Joe
Chandler: Uh, yeah.
Chandler: So, well do the rest of the bills later then?
Chandler: But then later that night