words in movies
Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today?
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! TV announcer: And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives .
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
<Chandler grabs Joey's left arm and pushes the sleeve up>
Chandler: What are you going to do?
Chandler: Well you proved them wrong.
<Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'>
Monica: Careful. <hands Chandler a china plate> Careful. CAREFUL!
<Chandler is startled and nearly drops the plates.> Sorry.
Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. <looks at china> hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out..
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? < Phoebe comes in>
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Ross: Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Amy: <points to Chandler> This guy? Seriously?
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Chandler: Actually what?
Chandler: What?
<Chandler gives a look that says "Yeah!">
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
Monica opens her front door. Chandler is sitting in the hallway.
Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
Monica and Chandler come through the front door.
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Chandler: By the way, that fight was totally arousing.
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well thanks.
Chandler: Okay, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose.
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Chandler: Nope...
Chandler: Yep...
Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time.
Chandler: Maybe not even then. (Joey walks in)
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Oh. Oh, did-did-did I wake you?
Monica: Chandler, thats like your fourth cup of coffee!
Chandler: Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? (Gunther starts to pour him another cup.) So uh, what do you do when youre not working here?
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting another cup of coffee.]
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Chandler: They dont have those.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Chandler: Next time you snore, Im rolling ya over!
Chandler: Hey, all right!
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Chandler: Yknow, whipped! Wah-pah!
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Chandler: Those were like the best seats ever.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Chandler: Its 6:00.
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Nothing.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, well, I dont dance at weddings.
Joey and Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
Chandler: (answering for him) Yes he did.
Chandler: So uh, what are you in for?
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: You mind if I
(Chandler wakes him up, again.)
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm kinda wishing everyone wasn't here right now.
Chandler: What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep.
Chandler: (entering) Hello! Little ones.
Chandler: Well shes, shes the kinda girlJoey was unconscious.
Chandler: Because Im cooler.
Chandler: Plus, you look cool.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
(Chandler throws the ball to kick-off.)
Rachel: Im not gonna marry Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Chandler: Phoebe is, making people.
Chandler: No-no, not something stupid, something huge.
Chandler: Why not?! I mean its just, its just climbing! Its just, its just steep!
Chandler: Yknow what? It seems like all of the sudden; so much has happened.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are sitting and talking.]
Chandler: (dejected) Yeah, well
Chandler: Yeah baby!
Chandler: Yeeeeahhhh.
Chandler: (dejected) Oh, well
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Chandler: Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go.
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
Chandler: (entering) Hello!
Chandler: I didnt know that.
Chandler: (sarcastic) Noo.
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Chandler: Oh, that's Ross's.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry
Chandler: I'm over here big guy.
Chandler and Joey: Ohhh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
CHANDLER: We have to assign heads to something.
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Chandler: (laughing) You did look like an idiot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Chandler: If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard.
Chandler: Well, You could, but... probably just the one time.
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Chandler: Oh, its awkward. Its awkward. Its awkward.
Chandler: (shocked) Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, youyeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Chandler: Im not even Im not even
Joey: Yes! (to Chandler) Shame about you man.
Chandler: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Chandler: (entering) Hey guys, what are you doing?
Chandler: He just said, "No strippers."