words in movies
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
Chandler: Sydney Portier? Hehheh.
[Chandler throws his coat on the couch]
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Chandler: Why havent you told them?!
Chandler: Why havent you told them?! Wouldnt they be happy?!
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Chandler: Why wouldnt they be happy?
Chandler: What? What? Why?!
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didnt I?
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! Youre parents like me, right?
[Chandler goes to stand to the side of the TV.]
Chandler: Well Monica just told me that they dont.
Chandler: (annoyed) Do you know why?
Chandler: (angry) Well if people dont know they shouldnt just guess!
Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.
Chandler: Maybe I could give thanks by taking my Playstation over to my new apartment.
Chandler: [mocks that last comment].
[Chandler starts to leave as Janine enters]
Janine [to Chandler]: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
[Chandler exits]
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
[Chandler goes to take off Jacks coat. He then notices little white flakes on Jacks shoulders. He begins to wipe them off.]
Chandler: Whoa, snowing out there?
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]
[Monica rushes over to Chandlers side.]
Monica: Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke.
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
[Chandler and Monica exchange worried looks.]
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Monica: Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Chandler: (shocked) What?
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: You do? Why?
Chandler: What?! Why did you do that?
Chandler: How could it not matter?!
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Chandler: Yeah, Im not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
[Chandler exits to the balcony.]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
[Chandler is mega shocked!]
Chandler: Thank you!
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Chandler: You're gonna be great.
Chandler: That's what our friends call us.
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Chandler: Yeah, wow.
Monica: Uh, good hands. (she holds Chandler hands) Healing hands.
Chandler: No-ot for me it doesn’t.
Erica: (to Chandler) Being a doctor must take up a lot of time.
Chandler: You should be. You’re really on top of stuff..
Chandler: Yeah, I did.
(Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.)
Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Chandler: Your Veal Chop is $34,95!
Chandler: It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else.
Chandler: You have gotta stop!
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Chandler: I know..
Chandler: oh, honey..
Chandler: You're Jewish.
Chandler: So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us.
Chandler: But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this?
Monica: No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. (turns to Chandler) The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically...
Chandler: (to Monica) Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did!
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Hey.
(Chandler takes Monica's hand, and gets serious) Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk...(pause) We're not who you think we are.
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
Chandler: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor.
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Chandler: Erica wait!
(She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.)
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Chandler: You still want that baby?
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
(They look at each other. We switch back to Monica. Chandler opens the door and she turns to look at him.)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.
Chandler: (looking at her) Seriously, answer faster!
(Monica and Chandler do not look amused by Joeys head in the door)
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Chandler: (picking up the phone) Hello.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Chandler: Those are all really old!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
Chandler: I don’t know. What do you think?
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Chandler: I do too.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: We don’t. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing.
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
Ross: I just can’t see Chandler cheating!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
Joey: Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here?
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat)
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters)
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Chandler: Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Chandler: Actually, we already found a house we love.
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
Chandler: Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh?
Chandler: Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'!
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Chandler: Fancy.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
(Chandler prepares to play)
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Chandler: (entering) Hey.
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Chandler: Sure!
Chandler: And the fireplace in the bedroom.
Chandler: Here, here!
(Chandler listens to what Nancy says)
Chandler: I know.
(Chandler and Monica hug)
Chandler: Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer.