words in movies
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
Chandler: Sydney Portier? Hehheh.
[Chandler throws his coat on the couch]
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Chandler: Why havent you told them?!
Chandler: Why havent you told them?! Wouldnt they be happy?!
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Chandler: Why wouldnt they be happy?
Chandler: What? What? Why?!
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didnt I?
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! Youre parents like me, right?
[Chandler goes to stand to the side of the TV.]
Chandler: Well Monica just told me that they dont.
Chandler: (annoyed) Do you know why?
Chandler: (angry) Well if people dont know they shouldnt just guess!
Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.
Chandler: Maybe I could give thanks by taking my Playstation over to my new apartment.
Chandler: [mocks that last comment].
[Chandler starts to leave as Janine enters]
Janine [to Chandler]: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
[Chandler exits]
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
[Chandler goes to take off Jacks coat. He then notices little white flakes on Jacks shoulders. He begins to wipe them off.]
Chandler: Whoa, snowing out there?
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]
[Monica rushes over to Chandlers side.]
Monica: Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke.
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
[Chandler and Monica exchange worried looks.]
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Monica: Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Chandler: (shocked) What?
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: You do? Why?
Chandler: What?! Why did you do that?
Chandler: How could it not matter?!
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Chandler: Yeah, Im not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
[Chandler exits to the balcony.]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
[Chandler is mega shocked!]
Chandler: Thank you!
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Chandler: Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Chandler: Ehh.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Chandler: Sure you do.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: Oh yeah, totally!
(Ross leaps out of his chair and runs out the door, with Chandler in hot pursuit.)
Chandler: Hey, you guys!
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Chandler: No I didnt!
Chandler: No!
Joey: Eyes! No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandlers eyes!
Chandler: Really?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Chandler: I got glasses!
Chandler: What we want honey.
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Chandler: Hey! Hows the boat?!
Chandler: Our kids are gonna be fat arent they.
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Chandler: Do you know what I was thinkin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Chandler: Well, did-did you correct him?
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Chandler: Oh no problem, maybe Ill play with my left hand.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Does anybody know me?!
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Chandler: Cause its gross.
Chandler: Dont worry about it Pheebs.
Chandler: An old cookie?
Chandler: We cant accept this.
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
(Chandler looks over and sees Ross glaring at them.)
Ross: (entering with Chandler) Hey.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are making some sandwiches.]
Chandler: Awful. Awful. Couldn'ta gone worse.
Chandler: Guys?
[Cut to the flashback, Chandlers no longer doing the voice-over.]
Chandler: Why do they put so much steam in there?!
Chandler: I know.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
Monica: Oh my God Chandler! I cant believe it!
Chandler: I dont want him to tell this story for years.
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Chandler: (getting up) All right, Im off to see your dad.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
(Chandler and Joey enter and overhear that.)
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. (Forced laughter)
Chandler: And thats the Chrysler Building right there.
Chandler: So I guess we wear swimsuits in here!
Chandler: What did you do when they found out?
Chandler: So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a little Im a little embarrassed about it.
Chandler: What a sweet story.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it. It's the pizza delivery girl.)
Chandler: Its your mommy. Its your mommy.
Chandler: That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV.
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Chandler: And say nothing?
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
Chandler: Uh yes, but uh, I just watch it for the articles.
Monica: (To Chandler) Hey sweetie.
[Scene: The Gym, Chandler and Mr. Geller are heading for the whirlpool room.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sitting on the couch when some unknown guy comes in and sits in their easy chair.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Young! Youre a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybodys ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!
Chandler: Oh no-no, I cant do that.
Chandler: Thats it?! I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
Rachel: Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: Chandler, you have an assistant right?
Chandler: (angrily) Did she call? You-you told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick!
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Chandler: What about him?
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
Chandler: Dying people say the craziest things.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there.]