words in movies
[Scene: Unitel Video, Studio 55, Joey's telethon, he is being shown around by the stage director.]
Stage Director: This will be your phone.
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Casting Director #1: Whenever youre ready.
Casting Director #1: Oh my God!!
Casting Director #2: No.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
The Director: All right, from the top.
The Director: And Action!
The Director: Uh sure.
The Director: Action!
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
The Director: All right! Lets try this again! You ready Joe?
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
Director: OK, everyone gather up.
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
The Casting Director: Okayyyy! Anddd, go!
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Director: Okay, everybody hold!
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
Director: Whats going on over here?
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
(The director shakes his head.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Director: Cut!
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
The Director: And cut!
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
The Director: Cut!
The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey.
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
(The casting director shakes her head.)
The Casting Director: Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
The Director: Yeah.
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
The Director: Watch again that hand.
The Director: Action!
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
The Assistant Director: You are now.
The Director: Cut! Wonderful!
The Director: But youre not bald.
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
The Director: What kind of surgery?!
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
The Director: What?!
The Director: Lets take it from there.
The Director: Lets reset.
The Director: Once again, and action!
The Director: Action!
The Director: Okay.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
The Director: Here we go.
The Director: Action.
The Director: Action!
The Director: And action!
Director: Cut! Very nice people!
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Joey: (to the director) Hiya!
Director: CUT!
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Director: Joey, Joey! We're ready for you!
Director: On a bell please! Quietly.. and ACTION!
The Director: Hey Joey, were ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over) Joey, this is Alex hes going to be playing your son.
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Director: You really think this man is speaking French?
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Director: Joey, do you speak French?
Director: Whenever you're ready Joey.
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.